Back in 2010, we were introduced to a young couple at a Houston Astros game, as they became instant Internet celebrities thanks to every sports blog on the planet and eventually Daniel Tosh. In case your memory is fuzzy from all the meth, Chris Johnson hit a foul ball into the field box along the left field line, and the boyfriend took cover like a frightened toddler as his then-girlfriend was hit by the ball. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last.

On Sunday, Brandon Inge ousted the “foul ball couple” as the Internet’s favorite fan f*ck-ups when he belted a 3-run home run off rookie Matt Moore in the third inning, and it smacked a Tampa fan right in the gooners. To make matters worse, the ball ricocheted off the Rays fan’s crotch into his lady friend’s face. Really, it’s the feel good video of the summer.

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In case you haven’t been paying attention to the Mets since last Friday, these are the scores from their last four games, not counting the one in progress as this is being written:

6-25 @Rangers W 14-5
6-26 @Rangers W 8-5
6-28 @Tigers W 14-3
6-29 @Tigers W 16-9

Something crazy is happening to the Mets, and in the world of the Dugout that’s a more dangerous topic than “Roger Clemens stabbed somebody in the heart and paid to have it covered up”. The job of The Dugout is to emasculate the Mets at all cost, and if they keep playing like this I’ll have no choice but to start posting wistful Dugout retrospectives about them on Faith and Fear in Flushing.

Today’s Dugout follows.

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The Twins beat the Tigers in that thrilling 12-inning playoff game to decide the AL Central yesterday, but not without controversy. En route to his team’s 6-5 loss in the Metrodome, Tigers batter Brandon Inge took a pitch in the top of the 12th with the bases loaded that brushed up against his jersey, which legally counts toward a hit-by-pitch. Inge headed for first base, but was called back to the batter’s box by home plate umpire Randy Marsh. As one might guess, Mr. Inge was not pleased.

“I want a hit as much as the next guy, but when it’s that important, it hit my shirt,” Inge said of the first pitch he took from [Twins reliever Bobby] Keppel, thrown with the bases loaded and one out in the 12th inning. “I’m not going to lie.”[...]

“It hit my shirt, period,” Inge said. “I don’t lie about things like that. I’m not going to try to weasel my way on base.”

Tigers manager Jim Leyland immediately ran out of the dugout to challenge the call. Read the rest of this entry »

MLB had their Home Run Derby last night, and unless you were one of the Boys and Girls Clubs getting a piece of that giant check on display at the end, it was absolutely pointless. Prince Fielder won an event with no real ebb and flow that was marred by too many guys getting batting-practice-quality pitches and taking them, sometimes several in a row.

It was irritating on several levels. Brandon Inge, who had no business being there, didn’t leave the yard once. and The rules didn’t make any sense, including the “five-swing” first-round tiebreaker. The players didn’t wear their caps, which is fine, because the league-specific caps were ugly. And the charitable promotions and energy drink product placements, each seemed to be more nauseating than the one before it.

But the biggest bust of the night was ESPN’s Ball Track, or as I called it last night, SpermBall. If you didn’t see it, it was a direct ripoff of FOX’s “glow puck” from the 1990s. It was one of those silly colorful CG things that hadn’t been totally debugged and, worse, added nothing to the telecast, which was beyond salvation. The silver lining of it all is that the All-Star Game is tonight, and it couldn’t possibly be worse than a Home Run Derby game that will need a serious overhaul before next summer.