Yesterday we were able to share two giraffe-related sports stories, one involving Dwight Howard dunking on a giraffe in the middle of Tokyo, one involving San Francisco Giants outfielder Brandon “Baby Giraffe” Belt having an actual baby giraffe named after him. I can’t offer you a follow-up on the first story (as “Dwight Howard went to Japan and dunked on a basketball goal made out of life-sized stuffed giraffe” can’t really go anywhere else), but the second story has tons of adorable follow-up, all of which I am going to share with you right now.

Yesterday, Brandon the Baby Giraffe took a trip to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom to pet and hang out with Brandon the Actual Baby Giraffe and shared the pictures of the meet-up on his blog. I advise you to head over and look at all of them, because oh man, you do not know how hard it is to pick baby giraffe photos for a blog header.

For maximum cute overload, watch the video below. Mama Giraffe makes an appearance, and I think I speak for everyone when I say holy sh*t, giraffes.

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It’s not every day when two giraffe-centric sports stories emerge simultaneously. Okay, maybe it is, and I’m just following all the wrong Tumblrs.

The first concerns San Francisco Giants rookie Brandon Belt, a man nicknamed “Baby Giraffe” because he looked like helpless animal fresh from the womb during his transition from first base to the outfield. Sports Illustrated For Kids presumably still exists and loves literally illustrating nicknames, so the Giants contacted Six Flags Discovery Kingdom about a photo op. The amusement park did them one better.

“As we like to say, it came out of left field,” Nancy Chan, the animal park’s communications manager, told KTRE. “The Giants called us about setting something up with Brandon Belt and our giraffes and we just so happened to have one born, so we decided to name it after him.”

And so we have “Brandon”, a baby male giraffe born just before noon on Friday. He is absolutely adorable and is easily the best Giants-themed animal at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom since they named a dying yak after Miguel Tejada.

If that isn’t giraffe enough for you, check out this video of Orlando Magic All-Star center Dwight Howard dunking on an 11-ish foot basketball hoop affixed to a life-sized stuffed giraffe in the middle of downtown Tokyo’s Roppongi Hills building complex, because “Japan”.

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This Ride Will Be The Death Of You.

That’s Final Destination 3‘s tagline, because it is about a roller coaster that kills you. The roller coaster crash in that movie takes about nine minutes, making it the longest f**king roller coaster of all time.

Anyway, so arrives the third and final (until the sequel) installment of guest writer Bill Hanstock’s SFinal Destination series. We’ve spent seven-plus years portraying Giants fans as the butt of a horse, so hopefully this will catch on with San Fran Fans and open up a world of new ideas, such as the Giants dying in an airplane and the Giants dying on a freeway. In case you missed our updates on Friday, our updates yesterday AND today’s Morning Links, please read Part 1 and Part 2 before clicking through.

Then, click through. Today’s HAUNTING Dugout THRILLRIDE~ is after the jump.

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For every beginning there is an end.

That’s the tagline for Final Destination 2. In case part of their audience considered that philosophy, the second tagline is

More Speed. More Horror. More Death.

…and I’m guessing “these people are dying and Lol it is crazy” is right behind. Anyway, The Dugout returns (in 3-D! Not really) with part two of SFinal Destination, from guest writer Bill Hanstock. If you didn’t read part one, please be sure to do so before reading today’s strip because it picks up right where part one left off without any exposition. Kinda like Final Destination 2. The real humor in this is knowing that while the injuries have been exaggerated a bit, literally everything going on in these comics happened in real life. Even Brian Wilson’s face.

Please click through and enjoy the comic. The thrilling conclusion happens tomorrow.

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