Astros pitcher Brandon Backe attended a wedding at a Galveston resort over the weekend, and you know how wedding receptions are: you try to take open containers of alcohol into the pool, then you punch a cop and get arrested.

The incident started at the resort’s swimming pool bar. A guest shoved a police officer after the officer told him he could not bring an open container of alcohol into the area, and the incident escalated into a riot after the man — and others — refused to comply with the officer’s commands, police said.

At one point, police told Backe to back off but police said Backe struggled with officers instead — [exchanging] blows to the face with one officer.

More weddings should be like that, I think.  Too often you go to weddings, and all the anger and quiet seething gets swept under the rug or limited to passive-aggressive sniping between the bride and her new in-laws, or the bride and groom, or the bride and her bridesmaids.  Nothing seals a solemn vow of marriage and the union of two families like a pool bar brawl with the cops.

[Busted Coverage]

The once-proud Virginia-based Vick Crime Family is at it again. John Law managed to throw older brother Michael behind bars, but Marcus is still keeping the proud legacy of malevolence intact. He has a reputation to uphold. Yep, he's out there in the streets, getting busted by bicycle cops for driving drunk. 

Marcus Vick was charged with driving under the influence and related traffic charges after fleeing from a bicycle officer early today in Norfolk, police said.

According to Officer Chris Amos, police spokesman, a bicycle officer approached a couple arguing in a car in the 200 block of Granby Street around 2 a.m. Friday.

When the officer asked for the man's identification the car took off at high speed, Amos said. A few minutes later another officer spotted the car and stopped it in the 300 block of Armistead Ave.

Vick, of the 5100 block of West Creek St., failed a sobriety test, Amos said, and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license. The woman, identified as Delicia Lenora Cordon, 24, of Miami, was charged with being drunk in public.

What a terrible fall from mediocrity from a player no one expected to work out in the pros. Looks like another Vick could get locked up, making McDonalds parking lots the nation round a much safer place.

Red Sox ace Josh Beckett shares his fitness regimen in this month's Men's Fitness cover story.

He tries to arrive at spring training in good cardio shape, then use the prep time to get his arm ready for the season's grind. "What you do during the offseason is, first, build a base," he said. "That takes about three weeks, and then you try to get as strong as you can before you go to spring training. Once you get there, you taper down and it's just a maintenance program for the next six or seven months."

That picture right there is Beckett on the first day of spring training, and he's presently missing playing time with stiffness in his back, so it's obvious that Beckett spent the offseason building a base.  A base made from cans of chocolate icing.  Good call, Men's Fitness.  I'll be sure to pick up this month's copy.

I guess pitchers and catchers reported today or yesterday or something, totally sparking my unflagging devotion to baseball that will last uninterrupted for the next eight and half months until a World Series champion is crowned.  Oh God I can't contain my excitement.

One thing that makes this event bearable is seeing who showed up to work a complete fatass, and the Boston Herald pointed its camera at the midsection of ace Josh Beckett.

Six-pack? Red Sox ace Josh Beckett isn’t even sporting a one-pack! … But calm down, Red Sox Nation. Our Florida spies say that Josh … isn’t actually as flabby as this photo makes him look.  In fact, Beckett arrived in camp with his personal trainer who helped build a gym for Josh inside his Texas compound and, word is, No. 19 is in better shape than he was last year at this time.

Pssh, you call that a lede, Boston Herald?  THIS is a lede:  "Big game pitcher?  More like big-game animal on an African safari!  We can't tell if Beckett looks like David Wells, or something Wells would hunt."  Amateurs.

The Red Sox staved off elimination in Game 5 of the ALCS last night, winning 7-1 over the Indians despite a lackluster effort from Josh Beckett, who gave up an early lead by allowing a first-inning run, then headed for the showers after the 8th inning, apparently content that victory was in hand.  Lazy bum.  Beckett's numbers for the night: 8 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 BB, 11 K.  That brings him to 3-0 with a 1.17 ERA this October, and his career playoff ERA is now 1.78.

That would be pretty impressive if numbers weren't so damn boring.  But Beckett showed plenty of fire throughout, exchanging words with Vinny Testaverde Kenny Lofton in a near bench-clearing scuffle in the fifth inning (Awful Announcing has video).  Lofton was pulled back by teammates before breaking a hip, and quickly put to bed.  Damn kids today got no respect, I tell ya.

Finally — and this is going to shock you — Manny Ramirez was terrific in the batter's box but didn't give his full effort outside of it.  Oh, I know: I was just as shocked as you.  But it's true.  Man-Ram doubled in the first inning but was thrown out at home to end the inning when he failed to slide.  And with two outs in the third, Ramirez muscled an opposite-field fly ball that caromed off the top of the wall in right-center, but his lazy gait left him with a 390-foot single.  On the other hand, that single scored the go-ahead run, so shut the fuck up, Boston fans.

Game 6 is Saturday at Fenway. 

In a battle of the best the AL and NL have to offer, the Red Sox won game 3 against the Padres to take the series.  Josh Beckett pitched 8 strong innings giving up only 2 runs on 6 hits and striking out 8, and he now leads MLB with 11 victories.  The Padres' ace, Jake Peavy, had a rough 3rd inning where he allowed 5 singles and 3 runs which sealed his fate as the losing hurler on the day.  Exciting stuff, no?  No, not really.  The best part of this match-up was the hot, sunny weather which prompted the lovely ladies of Section 309 to wear as little clothing as possible.  Other cheap seat highlights included the denizens of Red Sox nation summarily "booing" ("You fucking suck, you piece of shit!") their own shortstop, Julio Lugo, at every plate appearance (Lugo was the only Boston starter without a hit).  Also, after my 9th beer in the blazing sun, the ghost of Willie Stargell appeared before me in a vision and urged me to begin singing "We Are Family" as loudly as I could after San Diego's Termel "Sister" Sledge hit a 2-run double.  

In other MLB news, Ken Griffey Jr. hit 2 homers to pass Mark McGwire on the all-time list, but the Reds lost to the Mariners 3-2 . . . Angels shortstop Erick Aybar's 10th inning single scored Howie Kendrick to lift Los Angeles past the mighty Pittsburgh Pirates . . . Milwaukee's Chris Spurling walked in the winning run as the Royals defeated the Brewers in 11 . . . the Cubs sweep the White Sox 3-0 as the Pale Hose only score 2 runs in the three games.  It's a good thing I'm in California or else I'd have some Molotov cocktails for my North Side relatives.  What the hell, I'll deliver them when I get back to town. -KD