Mike Tirico said that he didn’t like the Thursday Night Football on NFL Network because he didn’t like the matchups. Well now that little bastard can eat crow because tonight’s Monday night matchup could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. I remember earlier in the fall when ESPN was airing high school football from Cincinnati, and it’s hard to see how any such matchup could be worse than the possibly-finally-over-the-hill Baltimore Ravens and the I’ve fallen and I can’t get up Cleveland Browns.

By now, everyone has figured out that Brady Quinn will be starting under center for the Browns. Whatever, dude. The stupid cat-and-mouse games that Eric Mangini plays with his quarterbacks are symbolic of his inept meddling, and the team’s total absence of direction. It’s fun to say that these Browns are a worse team than the ‘99 squad that resurrected the franchise, but it’s also a fact, and at some point they’ll have to blow up what they have and start over again. And that might be the only thing that cleans out all of that staph out there.

Baltimore? They’re old, man. They can still bring it–Cincinnati only beat them by ramming Cedric Benson into the line, and he done broke, yo–but you wonder if they might be in the same spot as Cleveland in terms of what they’re putting out on the field. The difference is that the Ravens have the front office and the younger personnel to weather what might be a 9-7 year. That’s a wild card berth in the NFC; but in the AFC North this year, 9-7 could mean watching the playoffs at home. At least they won’t have to watch this game.

Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn has put his Cleveland-area home on the market, according to an “industry source” reported by ESPN. Quinn started the first three games of 2009 before being benched by Browns coach Eric Mangini in favor of Derek Anderson, he of the Pro Bowl season two years ago, and not much since. was benched in favor of Derek Anderson, whose 2-for-17 performance last Sunday against Buffalo did nothing to change his coach’s mind. Now Quinn wants out.

According to the industry source, with the struggling economy it could take up to six months or a year to sell upper-end homes in the Cleveland area. The asking price is $775,000 for the five-bedroom, five-bathroom house, which is 4,561 square feet.

Quinn bought the Avon Lake property in June of 2007, just two months after he was drafted in the first round by Cleveland, the source confirmed. via.

Between watching former teammate Braylon Edwards thrive in greener pastures on national television earlier this week and realizing that he can’t hit the escalator clauses in his contract from the bench, Quinn is ready to get out of Ohio. But who would take him, considering that we’re now a month into the season? I understand there’s plenty of brown-eye happening in San Francisco. That really sounds more like Brady’s scene. also. also.

Life hasn’t been going too great for Brady Quinn. After being named the starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns prior to the first game of the season by head coach Eric “Respect My Authori-tah!” Mangini, Quinn was unceremoniously benched at halftime during last week’s 34-3 loss to the Baltimore Ravens and was replaced by Derek “Horse Balls” Anderson. Brady was 6-8 for 34 yards with an interception when he was pulled. Oh yeah, then Anderson came in and crapped the bed even worse, going 11-19 for 92 yards with three interceptions.

To add insult to injury, Mangenious elected to go with Anderson as a starter today against the Bengals (at the time of writing, Cleveland was losing 14-7 at halftime and Anderson is 6-16 for 130 yards with a touchdown).

But even after the benching, Quinn’s week got so much worse. Rapper Common was in Cleveland Thursday night to perform a concert. First of all, who in the heck is Common? I’m not too hip on the hip hop. Is he a good rapper, like that Fresh Prince guy?

Anyway, here’s what happened:

During a performance at Cleveland’s House of Blues Thursday night, Common dissed Quinn during a freestyle. He rapped that he “won’t mess up like Brady Quinn,” and then mentioned Derek Anderson in the next verse. After the audience reacted to the diss, it was noticed that Quinn was actually in the house along with several teammates. Ouch. via. via.

Yowsers. That was probably the most embarrassed Quinn has felt since he had to tell his parents he wasn’t gay.

Now his folks don’t know what to think. And here his dad had his “I love my dead gay son!” speech all ready. You know, if something unfortunate were ever to happen to his confused boy. I do not mean to imply that somebody wants Quinn dead, but how else was I going to be able to incorporate that Heathers reference? Blogging ain’t easy, kids. Sometimes you have to fly by the seat of your leather chaps.

In a turn of events that will shock no one, Brady Quinn will start for the Browns when they open their season against The City Of Minnesota, according to reports:

Anderson was asked if it would be difficult to keep the starting QB a secret until Sunday’s kickoff of the season opener against the Minnesota Vikings.

“No,” Anderson said, “because after this next two minutes are over I’m not going to be talking to you guys. It’s pretty easy. Obviously, the rest of us have to go about our regular preparations and continue to do what we always do and just not talk to our families.”

By “the rest of us” Anderson seemed to mean the Browns backups, a group it looks as if he belongs to once again. via.

The Browns were probably the only team in the league with a genuine controversy at quarterback. With the Lions and Jets both featuring lottery-pick rookie QBs and first-year head coaches, those situations were presumed to be in the bag. But really, head coach Eric Mangini’s choice at QB would be as signifcant as the shade of lipstick one would put on a pig. Some people have a thing for pigs. Don’t be offended. It’s just an expression, you big pig humper, you.

If you didn’t hate Browns quarterback Brady Quinn before, you might after you hear what the former Notre Dame star did to try to sabotage teammate Derek Anderson and help his own standing in Cleveland’s quarterback competition.

Coming off a 4-12 season, the Browns obviously have a lot to work on. Derek Anderson said the radio receiver in his helmet wasn’t working Sunday, so he had to work with hand signals. Anderson said Brady Quinn, who was quarterbacking the White team, schooled White defenders on those hand signals, which made it harder for Anderson to work a drive filled with short passes. Details, details, details. via, via.

C’mon, Brades. Even Nathan Lane thinks that’s catty. All we heard about during the 2007 NFL draft was “what a great person” Brady Quinn was. I didn’t buy it then and I don’t now. Quinn is just Nick Lachey with a stronger arm. Which probably means Mangini will start him every game this season.

In 2005, it was Aaron Rodgers. In 2007 it was Brady Quinn. This year, I’ve already bet Drew 20 bucks that it’ll be Mark Sanchez. Regardless, the most fun of the draft is waiting for the last player in the NFL’s pre-selected group of lottery prospects to leave his table in the green room and hold up the colors of his new team. And one of the reasons I’ll never respect Brady Quinn as an NFL quarterback is because of the way he ducked backstage and then finally came out, chewing gum and acting like the douchebag that we all know that he is. Up yours, Brady.

WR Michael Crabtree, LB Aaron Curry, LB Brian Cushing, QB Josh Freeman, T Eugene Monroe, T Michael Oher, DE Brian Orakpo, T Jason Smith and QB Matthew Stafford will be the biggest group of prospects to attend the draft since 11 players attended the 1996 NFL Draft.

After looking at that list…I think the NFL just saved me 20 bucks.