And now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together (and sometimes watch them play softball). It’s Sports On TV: the 15 greatest sports moments of Arrested Development.
As if Aremenian boy barfight MMA wasn’t bad enough, today’s big mainstream news story tackles the next step down on the boyfighting evolutionary ladder … three awful, awful Delaware women were arrested and charged with assault, reckless endangerment, endangering the welfare of a child and conspiracy for organizing what is more or less a toddler fight club. No, seriously. They lined up kids at day care, made them punch each other and taped it with their cell phones.
Here’s the report from CNN, which Nancy Grace has been masturbating to since yesterday afternoon.
Authorities have not released the video but say one day care worker said “No pinching, only punching” after one of the boys complained that the other had pinched him.
The video purportedly shows seven other children seated in the room with their backs to the fighting, according to police.
“It’s not like they didn’t know what was going on, and they were just encouraging them to continue,” [Dover Police Captain] Stump said. “One of the children attempted to run, but one of the teachers pushes him back into the fray.
I don’t know if it’s the rise of Tyler Durden, an increased awareness of dogfighting or too many Pokémon games, but apparently we have to make everything fight everything else now. One of the creepiest parts of the story is that the women made the other kids line up with their backs to the fighting and wait their turn, which is either the most gladiatorial or Blair Witch Project thing I’ve ever heard.
A Division Of Family Services spokesperson says the women “could be prohibited from working in the public sector, especially with children or senior citizens”, because I guess “make them fight each other on camera and then shoot them all into the sun” isn’t something the Division Of Family Services can organize.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the only people who’d be more interested in this than Nancy Grace (Taiwan’s Next Media Animation) have already whipped up a piece about the story. Yes, it contains bloody, slow-motion uppercuts.
By way of Armenia’s ‘ArmFC’ comes a clip Cage Potato calls “the classiest child abuse video of them all”, and just like CP I can’t decide if I think it’s adorable or that everyone involved should be thrown in prison, and that the prison should be set on fire.
In the video (presented after the jump, so you don’t have to watch it if the sentence “6-year old and 7-year old have a sanctioned MMA fight in an Armenian bar for the enjoyment of old men” skeevs you out too much) a 6-year old and a 7-year old have a sanctioned MMA fight in an Armenian bar for the enjoyment of old men. It can really go either way … the scaled down cage is great, the pre-fight weigh-ins are predictably cute and those FLAME GRAPHIX look pretty tight. Kids fight, and we’ve all probably been in fights way worse than this. They’re just wrestling, really, and if they punch each other how hard can it hurt? They’re seven. On the other side, that sentence in italics. If you can watch a 6-year old pretend to dig a grave and bury a child in it before punching his corpse and not feel a little weird about it … yeah, I don’t know.
Anyway, here you go. Stick around long enough to see the Baby Buster short.
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