"Aw, you promised me a teenage girl."

It’s hard to believe that people could have ever thought this was a good idea, but in 1966, there was a TV series entitled Europe’s Big Top Circus Stars Live from the Hippodrome – AKA The Hippodrome Show – and it featured big TV and movie stars of the day serving as “Guest Ringmasters” of a televised circus. In fact, stars like Merv Griffin, Tony Randall and Jack Carter played host for this brief series that is described by IMDB as such:

Spectacular variety series featuring the whole nine yards, jumping dogs, trapeze acts, brass bands, vaudeville as well as contemporary singers and musicians. Hosts were the same but different line ups or episodes were made to suit each country.

Right off the bat, my attention is piqued with jumping dogs, but is that all that they do? Maybe I’m spoiled in this Internet generation, especially with my incredible research team and tireless fact checkers, but if all those dogs did was jump, then I don’t want to hear about how awesome the 60s were anymore.

But the reason that I bring this not-necessarily-sports-news up is because a friend sent me a video last night – it’s an old one but I’d never seen it – featuring Woody Allen boxing a kangaroo in front of the Hippodrome audience. Specifically, this is from the third episode of the show’s 11-episode run, and Allen’s show also featured something called the Dubsky’s Football Dogs. That certainly sounds a lot more exciting than just “jumping dogs”. Unfortunately, there’s no video of those dogs, so you’ll have to settle for a scared kangaroo and a delightful ending.

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After a few weeks of writing about shows me and three other people in the world like (Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, Boy Meets World, et al.), we decided to dedicate a Sports On TV column to a show the entire UPROXX network loves — ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,’ FX’s delightfully cruel comedy that has its own page of recaps and commenter badges on the UPROXX mothership.

The show’s use of Philadelphia is at least as comprehensive as ‘The Wire’s’ use of Baltimore, and all of the important Philly area teams and icons have made an appearance on the show … the Eagles, the Flyers, the Phillies, the Phillie Phanatic. ‘It’s Always Sunny’ also launched the worldwide popularity of GREEN MAN, who you may know as “that a-hole in the morphsuit at any sporting event.” It’s an important thing they’re doing, so we’re here to talk about it.

Things we have to apologize for in advance: crude language, situations meant for mature audiences and getting the “Flipadelphia” song stuck in your head again.

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If you joined us for the UFC on Fox 6 live discussion on Saturday, then you most likely watched the sad end of the BJ Penn era, after he was outmatched and exhausted by our favorite fighting hipster, Rory MacDonald. But some people believe that the real end of an era came later that night, when Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manual Marquez reignited their incredible rivalry for the fourth time in front of a fiery Las Vegas audience. Marquez delivered a stunning knockout blow to Pacquiao in the 6th round, securing the WBO “Champion of the Decade” belt and a barrage of “Is this the end of Manny?” headlines.

Lost in the shuffle is also a hilarious Internet uproar caused by none other than Floyd Mayweather’s No. 1 fan, Justin Bieber, as Canada’s crown prince of pop apparently made fun of Pacman on Instagram, and that didn’t sit well with the fighter’s fans. What really blows me away is that Pacquiao has a considerable amount of fans worldwide, as they flocked to Bieber’s Instagram account to defend their fallen hero. There you have it, folks – boxing’s biggest star being made fun of by this guy…

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Mike Tyson has told the story about the time he caught his then-wife Robin Givens with then-nobody actor Brad Pitt before. The story originally involved Tyson showing up to Givens’ house right after she’d served him with divorce papers, and he wanted a little nookie for the time being. Unfortunately, she wasn’t home, and as he was leaving, Givens pulled up to her house with Pitt and everyone was like, “Awkward!” I also assume that Pitt peed a little.

But now, as Tyson explained in a recent interview with Yahoo!’s Graham Bensinger, the event went down just a tad bit differently than he originally told it. It turns out, according to Tyson, that he actually caught Givens and Pitt in the act of what the romantics call – doing it.

“I was getting a divorce. I was going to my lawyer’s office to divorce her that day but I wanted to sneak in a quickie. This particular day, someone beat me to the punch. I guess Brad got there earlier than I did. I was mad as hell. You should’ve saw his face when he saw me.”

I like to think Pitt’s face looked a little like this…

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This week’s Sports On TV covers another show people have been requesting since the column’s inception: ‘Boy Meets World,’ the long-running TGIF staple that asked, “if Fred Savage can have a successful television show, shouldn’t his little brother have one as well?”

‘Boy Meets World’ ran for seven seasons from 1993 to 2000 on ABC, and now’s a better time than ever to look back on the show’s 158 episodes. Why? Take it away, Wikipedia!

After a brief hiatus, the Sports On TV column returns with one of the most requested shows ever: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 16-season strong cultural landmark, ‘South Park’.

‘South Park’ has been around since 1997, and has changed along with the times. When it started, Parker and Stone were getting $1,200 to make video Christmas cards for Fox executives. In 2012, they are influential, Tony Award-winning, multi-millionaire media moguls. One thing hasn’t changed: in season one, Kenny was getting ripped apart by football players. In season 16, Tom Brady is guzzling a Gatorade bottle of a child’s semen. Sports are one of the weirdest, stupidest, most ritualistic and overly-glorififed things human beings can do, and ‘South Park’ has been in tune with that since the very beginning.

So, in the Interest of easing us back into regular Thursday columns, here are my choices for the 20 greatest South Park sports moments. Like a lot of the shows we do, there are a ton of moments we had to leave out, so a part 2 will probably happen. If we left out your favorite moment, or you have something to say about a moment we chose, be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know.

As an added bonus, participating in the discussion and sharing the column on Twitter or Facebook (courtesy of one of those handy buttons at the bottom of the post) will net you the BAT DAD BADGE. You don’t want the Bat Dad Badge? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

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