Now I’m no expert judge of character by any means, but if a dude shows up at a high school volunteering to be a bowling coach, free of charge – well, there’s a pretty good chance that dude’s gonna end up being a perv. And so we go to Manhattan, Illinois, where 41-year old Edward R. Cetwinski was arrested after a female student reported having an affair with the ol’ three-holed ball coach. I just assumed that she was ratted out by her jealous classmates as she bragged, “Guess who’s nailing the bowling coach!”
The report was filed last week, leading to an immediate investigation of the grown man who was donating his spare time to teach high school kids how to bowl and, I’m guessing, how to grow a wicked goatee. However, people had become suspicious prior to her admittance, mainly because she kept bragging about picking up a 6-9 split. *bowtie spins, granny bowls*
Lay down the smooth game of a volunteer bowling coach, Herald-News Online:
