When you can pull off a Halloween costume that serves as the ultimate tribute to Frozen Head Baseball with a skosh of insinuated necrophelia, you’ve reached the big time. This guy took it upon himself to dress up as a post-mortem Ted Williams, and I should probably watch what I say in the event that all that hokey cryogenic crap actually works and he comes back from the dead with a vengeance and starts hunting down all of my children 20 years into the future. But the jokes on him: once those kids pass away, I’m off the hook for child support…unless he decides to cryogenically freeze them. Aw, crap.
More pictures at Unathletic Mag; thanks to Don Chavez for the heads-up.
With two outs in the bottom of the ninth and the Cardinals leading 2-1, Matt Holliday lost a sinking line drive in the lights, couldn’t track the ball, and instead of catching it, appeared to take it square in the nuts. Most reports are saying the ball hit Holliday in the stomach, but I think they are trying to avoid adding insult to injury, because if you watch the above video replay (with bonus Couples Retreat preview! You haven’t seen that before!), it’s pretty clear that the ball drilled him square in the junk. The Dodgers capitalized on the error, scoring two runs, including the game-winning single by Mark Loretta that scored Casey Blake to beat the Cardinals 3-2 and take a 2-0 series lead. The Cardinals are perhaps now drowning their sorrows while Matt Holliday is icing his balls.
In other MLB Division Series playoff action…
Colorado Rockies 5, Philadelphia Phillies 4. The Rockies evened up their matchup with the Phillies at one game apiece as the series heads to chilly Colorado. Speaking of nuts, after pitching five innings and surrendering four earned runs, starter Cole Hamels departed the game and then had to rush to the hospital after his wife went into labor. I hope the Hamels saved some of the placenta to share with the whole team. If you have never sampled placenta, you must. It tastes delightful on a Chicken in a Biskit.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 5, Boston Red Sox 0. The Angels appeared to solve their issues with the Red Sox, at least for one game (Boston has beaten Anaheim in three consecutive playoff series), as John Lackey pitched 7 1/3 innings of shutout ball, allowing only four singles. Torrii (the extra ‘i’ is for ‘incredible’) Hunter got the scoring started in the fifth inning with a mammoth three-run homer off BoSox lefthander Jon Lester. Kendry Morales added a two-run single in seventh, Darren Oliver retired all five batters he faced in relief and the Angels took a 1-0 series lead. Call it the power of the Rally Monkey, but have no fear, Boston fans. I’m pretty sure the Red Sox will have their own primitive primate of their own cheering them on when they return to Boston.
The frozen head of late baseball legend Ted Williams was abused, according to an excerpt from an upcoming book. The book, Frozen, chronicles the remains of the late Red Sox slugger in the Alcor Life Extension Foundation, a cryogenic facility in Arizona. The book’s author, former Alcor executive Larry Johnson, describes how Williams’ body was mistreated and abused.
The book, out Tuesday from Vanguard Press, tells how Williams’ corpse became “Alcorian A-1949″ at the facility, where bodies are kept suspended in liquid nitrogen in case future generations learn how to revive them.
Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors’ last .400 hitter.
Williams’ severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.
More nightmare fuel after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s video of that big brawl between the Red Sox and Tigers that happened earlier this week when the Sawks’ Kevin Youkilis took a fastball in the back, and Youk is so damn scaring looking that he might has well be jumping out of a flaming van wearing leg irons and an orange jump suit. But seriously, if you really want to rock the pitcher’s world…take the bat with you! Or better yet, take out the catcher with the bat and give yourself a head start to the mound. Catchers wear all kinds of padding, anyway…
After the Yankees swept the Red Sox in four straight games at home over the weekend, it seems reasonable that the Yankees are poised to be even more insufferable than the Red Sox were at the start of the season. Or could it be that those determining who the more insufferable of either team’s followers are the most insufferable of all?
Technically, the Yankees have suffered longer, while the Red Sox have the more rich tradition in suffering. But geographically, the Yankees are closer to Suffern, a town of about 11,000 people. It’s roughly 36 minutes from Yankee Stadium. Red Sox fans must endure a much longer trip to reach Suffern, almost 4 hours by car, which can be a suffering all its own, especially without a break.
Anyway, the Yankees have now won seven straight, which isn’t so impressive when you consider that even the Nationals have won eight straight. And that’s just what baseball needs right now, another bandwagon to jump onto. As that team becomes less insufferable, its fans become moreso, and I’ll leave it there. If you’ve made it this far, I think you’ve suffered enough.
ASYLUM POLL: Are Yankees fans the most arrogant?
I’m not especially desirous to see John Smoltz fail; I’m fascinated by the story more than anything. Smoltz, after 20 years with the Atlanta Braves, just up-and-left after the Red Sox offered him both a competitive one-year deal and two months during the season to recover from last year’s shoulder surgery. They were willing to wait for Smoltz to get healthy and return. And they’re still waiting.
Smoltz was lit up in a big divisional game that was surely among the worst of his 474 career starts: nine hits, eight runs (all earned) and four walks led to Smoltz getting pulled in the fourth. The Yankees went on to win, 13-6.
“This is a result-oriented business,” said Smoltz. “This is an organization that expects high standards and I expect them of myself. I’ll be the first to say that these last few games — they all haven’t been like this. This is probably the worst result game that I’ve pitched. You don’t want to do it here.”
Meanwhile, the Nationals won their fifth straight came, coming from behind to beat Florida 12-8. Elijah Dukes had 4 RBIs, including a solo shot in the seventh. The Marlins, hoping to gain ground in their race in the AL East, got swept and now find themselves only a half-game in front of the Braves.The Nats host Arizona–another struggling team that’s on a five-game win streak of their own–this weekend.
