When Boston Celtics GM Danny Ainge realized that his prized center Kevin Garnett might miss the entire playoffs, he had a totally subdued reaction and took the news in stride. Just kidding–he had a heart attack. From Y! News:
“Danny Ainge is recovering at Massachusetts General Hospital after having a minor heart attack. He is recovering nicely,” the team said. “Mr. Ainge is expected to remain in the hospital for a few days.”
A spokeswoman for Massachusetts General Hospital referred comment to the team
Ainge is 50 years old if anyone cares. Garnett’s knee injury has limited his action in games over the past several weeks, but only recently was an announcement made about his status for the postseason. My dad had a heart attack once, but that’s because he’s grossly overweight and hates everything. I’m struggling to see how that’s Kevin Garnett’s fault.
In somewhat surprising news, sporting events occurred last night. And no, I’m not talking about Rangers-Islanders. Or any hockey, really. Sorry. There was actually a slate of what appeared to be entertaining NBA games. As entertaining as early-season NBA gets, anyway.
So, now that I’ve sufficiently built up the excitement: the Celtics went to Houston, where the Big Three beat out the New Big Three, thanks mostly to Ray Allen’s 29 points and Ron Artest’s horrible, horrible shooting. Ron-Ron made just three of 16 shots, and took an astounding ten three-pointers. The Celts won, 103-99.
Elsewhere in the NBA: The Suns shot a blistering 63% from the field in their 114-86 rout of New Jersey, making 13 of their 14 shots in the second quarter, while the Nets countered with a 3-of-20 effort in their nine-point 4th quarter… Woo-hoo! The Spurs suck! San Antonio fell to 0-3 at the hands of the Mavericks, who were led by Dirk Nowitzki’s 30 points and Jason Terry’s 29. Just another 7 months of the NBA season to go!
Following up on the earlier report of Celtics Dancer tryouts: last Thursday the C's selected their 17-member dance team in the crucible of a public final audition. The Celtics Dancer tryouts: last Thursday the C's selected their 17-member dance team in the crucible of a public final audition. The Pro Cheerleader Blog says:
The third annual Celtics Dancers Final Audition was quite the spectacle, as friends, family and fans were on hand at The Roxy in Boston to welcome the new dance team.
There's a place called The Roxy in LA, too. I always think someplace called The Roxy should be a strip club, but it never is. I guess "NBA dance team final audition" is as close as it's ever gonna get. So annoying. I would never mislead people like that. "Hey, I'm going to the Jewel Box tonight." "Sweet! Gonna get some lap dances?" "No, some band from Williamsburg is playing."
(Photos by Brian Babineau, full gallery here)
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The Celtics Dancers are auditioning for next year's team, and thank God someone was there with a camera, because otherwise this monumental event would have been forgotten by the history books. It's definitely a fun group of photos to caption, and by caption I mean masturbate to. And also caption. Not that you'll read them, but I actually took the time to write out said captions on some of the picture pages.
Hey, remember when the Celtics first put together a dance team for the 2006-07 season, and some fans were all, "Nooooo! You're violating the sanctity of our historic franchise!"? Yeah, those dudes are gay.
Following their NBA championship, the Celtics headed straight to Las Vegas to celebrate. Since arriving, they showed up ringside to support C's fan Manny Pacquiano, who destroyed David Diaz in their lightweight championship bout. More recently, they turned their magical influence to exotic dancing, helping Boston-area floozy Danielle Rueda-Watts win the Pole-a-Palooza at the Bellagio.
“The fact that the Celtics were in the house… contributed to her victory,” said our spy on the scene. “Because when they said, ‘Let’s hear it for Danielle from Boston,’ all the guys cheered and pumped their fists.”
Danielle, 26, reports she’s not a professional exotic dancer, although she does have a pole in her house. She studied aerial acrobatics in Canada and moved to Vegas for a role in Cirque de Soleil’s “Zumanity.”
Awww that's great. We all need hobbies. Like me. I'm not a professional human taxidermist, although I do have some stuffed hookers under the floorboards.
An anonymous wealthy collector of curiosities and soiled shirts that some dude wore spent $35,000 to get the Gatorade-soaked shirt Doc Rivers had on during Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Would've fetched more if had been covered in the Gatorade sweat for the Kevin Garnett commercial. Anything secreted by an athlete is worth dying for. Just ask whores.
The Gatorade-stained shirt worn by Celtics coach Doc Rivers during Boston's title-clinching Game 6 victory over the Los Angeles Lakers last week netted $55,000 for The Shamrock Foundation through an auction on sports radio WEEI (850 AM).
An anonymous bidder pledged $35,000 for the shirt and accompanying Gatorade bucket utilized by Celtics captain Paul Pierce (above) during the sneak attack. The Gatorade company donated an addition $10,000, while a second anonymous donor gifted a $10,000 pledge.
The shirt, autographed by both Rivers and Pierce, had a $10,000 bid this morning until former Patriots head coach Bill Parcells, now the vice president of football operations for the Miami Dolphins and a Gatorade endorser, called with a bid of $20,000 on behalf of the sports drink company.
Gatorade bid on its own item to spur interest? That's a great idea. Maybe if I keep touching myself women will get the idea of how fun it is. Look, girl, see how easy it is! Aww man, sirens AGAIN? Back to the drawing board. The drawing board for 10 months (six with good behavior!).
