The depressed “come on, man” really makes it. (via otb)

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TV GIFs of the Week |Warming Glow|

‘What The F*** Is Michael Jordan Wearing?’ Calls The Fashion Police On His Airness |With Leather|

Important Falling Bear News: Falling Bear Has Been Hit By A Car, Is Dead |UPROXX|

Did you know they made a rom-com about Kate Hudson getting ass cancer? |Film Drunk|

Obits: Beastie Boys’ Adam “MCA” Yauch Dead At 47 |Smoking Section|

May The Fourth Be With You (Picture Gallery) |Gamma Squad|

Lena Dunham Gets Support From Louis C.K., Tells Colbert That She Has ‘Never Done The Sex’ |UPROXX|

Megan Fox Is The New ‘Face’ Of The Sharper Image |UPROXX|

New Spider-Man Trailer: Spider-Man as an A-holey New Yorker |Film Drunk|

UFC On Fox 3: Diaz Vs. Miller Live-Blog And Open Discussion Thread |With Leather|

Kanye West – “Lost In The World” Video |Smoking Section|

The Avengers Assemble At Gallery 1988 |Gamma Squad|

Corgi Friday: Zooey Deschanel Is Confused |Warming Glow|

37 Saddest Failed Kickstarters |Buzzfeed|

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s Star Wars |College Humor|

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Preview the New Album From Killer Mike |Adult Swim|

What if the Game of Thrones characters had Dungeons & Dragons alignments? |Fark|

The 10 Most Anticipated Anti-Blockbuster Movies of the Summer Blockbuster Season |Pajiba|

Brooklyn To Ban The Hooters Restaurant Chain |Guy Speed|

25 Ways Jason Stathan Can Kill You |Unreality|

There’s a Horror Movie Based on a Guy Finding a Box of Smut |Brobible|

This is a video of Paul Pierce “Tebowing”, which caused CBS Boston to ask the question, “Is Paul Pierce Tebowing?”

Many people thought he was doing the move named after New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow, who gets down on a knee and bows his head for a brief prayer on the field.

“You just want to thank God for putting you in those positions,” Pierce told reporters after the game. ”It wasn’t pre-scripted. It just came to me.”

I love that. He should hit a three-pointer and start planking, then have a press conference afterwards where he googles “planking” and laughs as he shows it to reporters. “I don’t know, I just made it up!!”

Not looking forward to early next year when they find out about Jeremy Lin.

[via The NBA Mistress]

When I got back from Las Vegas early this morning, I had quite a few emails from readers tipping me off about the greatest sign in the history of sports fanfare at a recent Boston Bruins game. The only problem was that the sign was a photoshop from the folks at Masshole Sports and the real sign was much tamer. And as for the photoshops, I actually like this one a lot more.

Thankfully one Boston Celtics fan came through with the real deal this morning with the very inspiring LeBron James tire cover above (via Boston Bar Stool). While it’s not as universally inclusive as the greatest sports fan’s Ford truck, this tire cover is still a heck of an effort in creativity.

And I’ve often said that it would take an act of God to get me to remove my St. Louis Cardinals tire cover from my Jeep, but now I might have to re-think that.

With the NBA trade deadline just 7 days away, all of the media’s focus is on the big market teams and their needs, which begs the question – which chump teams are gonna get fleeced? The quick answer: probably none. The Orlando Magic currently have the 5th best record in the entire league, which absolutely baffles me after watching them stand still and take it hard against the 4-win Charlotte Bobcats the other night, but then that’s how the wonderful world of sports works. So they’re most likely not trading Dwight Howard, and every other team is stuck waiting to see what happens with that to make their own moves. Classic log jam, folks.

Common sense says that Orlando won’t get a Denver Nuggets-type haul at the deadline, so that means the Magic instead want to move some of their crap for another team’s lesser crap. Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers sure could use some help, as could pretty much any team that isn’t the Chicago Bulls, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs or Miami Heat. Face it, your team is pretty much screwed.

Yesterday had its fair share of fantastic NBA action, but the spotlight belongs only to the day’s big market matchups between the Miami Heat and Los Angeles Lakers (meh, Lakers won, but I expected more) and especially the slugfest between the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics. With both teams struggling around the .500 mark, the Celtics received an absurd performance from trade-bait Rajon Rondo (18 pts, 17 reb, 20 ast) en route to a 115-111 overtime win.

And while I could go in a few different directions from here, like:

- Will the Celtics actually trade Rondo?
- Are the Knicks getting desperate enough to entertain trading Carmelo Anthony for Dwight Howard?
- The Celtics should totally be able to trade Ray Allen to the Clippers and rip them off, right?
- Seriously, Knicks, trade Carmelo for Dwight.

I just can’t get past that Knicks fan above. Sunglasses indoors… backwards tilted cap… jersey with no undershirt… mad tats… neatly-trimmed facial hair… there should be a word for that.

Sadly, this Knicks fan didn’t stick around long enough for anyone to talk to him, but I did get a shot of him driving away…

(Banner image via A. Isaac/Guyism)

To say that things aren’t going well for the Orlando Magic would be an incredible understatement. Since defeating the Indiana Pacers on Jan. 24, the team has fallen into a four-game skid that if defined as abysmal would be a compliment. But it all actually started the night before that win, when the Magic produced a pathetic 56-point performance in a loss to the Boston Celtics. That Monday night game should be remembered as the moment the Magic crumbled.

To be fair, the 66-game schedule hasn’t been kind to many teams at this point, with back-to-backs packed in like strippers in a trunk. But for the Magic – with my obvious homer status aside – it’s been a fascinating season with only 21 games behind them. And it all starts with the man who set the tone for Orlando’s season by requesting a trade, Dwight Howard.

After last night’s hideous 74-69 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers (and the game was a lot worse than that score suggests), Howard maintained that his team can win, but he still wants to play for a team that can win.

“It’s not the first time I’ve called them out,” Howard said. “As a leader, you’ve got to do things that people don’t like. People hate what they don’t understand. My teammates understand why I said what I said. They all agree. It’s not like, `Oh, Dwight’s wrong with what he said.’ But that’s with anything. My job is to challenge my teammates and challenge myself to go out and play every night.” (Via CBS Sports)

And he challenges them by requesting a trade right from the start, as well as openly telling reporters that he would consider playing for opposing teams after playing against them.

“We’re still a great basketball team, we’re just going through a tough stretch. That’s it,” Howard said. “There’s no need for us to complain or point the finger or for anybody to panic. We’re going to be fine.”

During their 4-game losing streak, the Magic are averaging 76 points per game, which is especially terrible considering they had one of the top offenses in the league prior to that first beatdown by the Celtics. They also squandered a 27-point lead against the Celtics on Jan. 26, and now reports are surfacing that the players have completely tuned out coach Stan Van Gundy.

Meanwhile, GM Otis Smith, who is about 80% to blame for this collapse from the team’s Finals appearance in 2009, failed to sign Ryan Anderson, the team’s second best player, to an extension last week, and he claims that he’s not willing to ever make major changes to the roster just because of a “string of losses” even though he traded Rashard Lewis for Gilbert Arenas and Vince Carter and Marcin Gortat for Jason Richardson and Hedo Turkoglu last season because the team lost 5 of 6. There’s just not a positive thing about these guys right now, other than at 12-9 they’re still in third place in their division.

I know the Magic aren’t big market news, but if you’re a basketball fan, you have to recognize that this is the most fascinating story of the season so far. Hell, even if you appreciate good schadenfreude, the Magic are the team for you.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
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Links

One Way Ticket To Snubtown! Breaking Down The Pro Bowl Rosters - When did Ray Lewis get the “you can be in the Pro Bowl forever no matter what” Derek Jeter card, and how do we get it away from him? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

…And Then Rajon Rondo Airballed A Lay-up - Mhoops! This has got to be the most Brandon Stroud Playing Horse shot in the history of the NBA. [Smoking Section]

The Greatest Sportscasting Moments Of 2011 - Jon Bois, WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE! [SB Nation]

Video: In Nate Diaz’s Defense, Donald Cerrone Shouldn’t Have ‘Put His Stupid-Ass Cowboy Hat All Up On’ Him - Stuff like this is way worse than wrestling, I don’t care how real it is. I do not want to see someone get into a shoving match because another guy’s cowboy hat was “all up on him”. [Cage Potato]

Humpday Mashup Dump: Skyrim Edition - I wanted to make an arrow in the knee joke, but I bought the game like two weeks too late and people have microscopic attention spans and a comedic expiration date of “the second time I’ve seen something”. Same thing happened to me with Portal. F**k you, the cake is still funny. [Gamma Squad]

The Weeping At Kim Jong Il’s Funeral Was Predictably Ridiculous - North Korea is more or less the “tough biker guy crying in fear when he sees a puppy” of people in real life. Like, I want to make fun of them, but Jesus, how f**ked up are they? Someone introduce Miley Cyrus to that country, stat. [UPROXX]

‘Modern Family’ Recut As A Horror Movie - Great, now it’s going to win all the SCREAM awards meant for the horror recut of Parks and Rec. [UPROXX]

Ben Affleck Plays Serious Harry Ellis - The best idea for a Die Hard prequel ever. Seriously, I would pay to watch two hours of Harry Ellis being a non-satirical American Psycho. [Film Drunk]

2011′s Most Popular Torrent Searches Prove Something We’ve Known All Along - I love that you have to have a qualifier to include WWE as TV. Hey, I’m a pussy vegan and I’m the one searching ‘WWE’. How else am I supposed to get the right pictures for the Best And Worst Of Raw? [Warming Glow]

Michele Bachmann Saying Literally Anything She Can On Fox News To Feign Iowa Momentum - As bad as things get, at least we can count on never having a lady who acts like this as our President. Terrifying. [Buzzfeed]

Von Wafer has played for 6 NBA teams since he was drafted in the second round of the 2005 NBA Draft, so it came as little surprise that he chose to play in Italy for a year instead of waiting out the lockout. But it’s not his paltry 7.3 ppg career scoring average that has people buzzing like sassy little bees today. It’s a Tweet that Wafer – real name Vakeaton Quamar Wafer – allegedly sent out yesterday around 4:30 p.m. and that remained on his Twitter for hours after. As you can read above, Von may have announced to the world that he’s gay.

Wafer’s agent denied that the guard could have posted such a Tweet, as he was on a plane from Italy to the U.S. at the time, but it’s really quite puzzling why a guy with a profile as low as Wafer’s would suddenly be the target for a good, old-fashioned “I’mma Tweet you’re gay” prank. In fact, let’s put on our conspiracy glasses – Gucci, natch – for a second and wonder out loud. Six teams in 6 years, and while playing for the Boston Celtics (his last NBA team) he was involved in a random locker room fist fight with Delonte West, for which there never was much of an explanation other than “They were competing for the same position.”

Could Wafer’s decision to play in Italy have been spurred by the lack of tolerance for his homosexuality as much as it was about a paycheck? Or is this just a simple prank that someone pulled on Wafer, whose nickname is also “The Dutch Cookie.” Only time will tell, I guess.

Reality TV’s knockout combo of talking heads and inanimate 38-year old women has made “The Real Housewives Of ______” an easy joke, but when it’s done right, it can be really, really right. Case in point:”The Real Houseweives Of South Boston”, by way of Buzzfeed.

Somehow it manages to be hilarious, exactly like a real Real Housewives episode (complete with inexplicable dinner party) and a perfect encapsulation of every character I’ve ever seen from a movie set in Boston. Seriously, if one of these women had a gun this could pass for five minutes of The Town. If they aired the show as is on ESPN in Primetime I wouldn’t even know it was a joke.

Moments to look out for: Paul Pierce Jr. (and the pitch-perfect dichotomy of prejudiced white folks who love black people), Boston fans only liking home runs (didn’t need a parody video to tell me that) and the phrase “I f**k athletes. These are my trophies”.

[backwards hat tip to Mr. Matt Ufford]

While there are so many terrible examples from the past two decades, it should come as absolutely no surprise that a professional basketball player hasn’t learned that we don’t want to hear him rap. Next on the long list of NBA players turned terrible rappers is Delonte West, who is most famous for fighting his teammates, possibly sleeping with LeBron James’ mom, and absolutely nothing beyond that.

West’s debut album is aptly titled, “Lockout” and his first single is “Livin’ Life Fast.” I assume it’s about driving fast cars and talking so that people can’t understand you. Maybe it will unlock the mystery of West’s lip and why it looks like he’s constantly having an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. See for yourself after the jump, and don’t hate me for this.

Here’s the video for “Livin’ Life Fast.” I don’t know much about making a rap video, but if your intro is going to last 2 minutes, at least make it entertaining. And shouldn’t a rapper – especially one who is a NBA player – be a little more of a baller? I mean, the word is derived from NBA slang. At least if they’re going to be playing video games like a couple teenage nerds, they could have Vida Guerra shaking her ass all over the place.

This is the promotional video for his album, “Lockout.” I don’t understand a word he says in the beginning. Again, though, I don’t know much about rap music, but couldn’t West at least dress better? The sleeveless shirt look screams, “I just got done boning a Pi Phi and now I’m going to play intramural basketball,” as opposed to, “I’ve made more than $14 million over my 7-year career.”

Here’s a little freestyle ditty that West set to a Wiz Khalifa freestyle. Except it’s not really a freestyle because he is reading the lyrics from his phone. Pure baller.