I am making an effort to get my girlfriend more interested in this website by featuring things like running and “Saved By The Bell”. And also by putting her friends in the headers.

Sports

Nike Running’s Evolution Film: The LunarGlide+ 3 - Is this the one with the “Ecstasy of Gold” remix where LaDainian Tomlinson and Troy Polamalu are born and immediately start running at each other? Because that’s the best commercial of all time, and maybe one of the best films. [Smoking Section]

Peter King Has Very Objective Criteria For Determining The Best Ballparks In The Universe - This reads just as wonderfully and bizarrely as the title. I keep wanting to do a Peter King guest Dugout, but I swear I could never do it justice. The best ballparks in the universe are Camden Yards (for beauty) and Citizens Bank Park (for utilitarianism), end of story. [KSK]

Jimmy Rollins Meets Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka - Speaking of Citizens Bank, I really wanted to turn this picture into a Dugout, but I couldn’t get any farther than Rollins saying “oh man, remember that time you jumped off the cage onto what’s his face, don muraco” and Superfly going “yah bruddah”. I’m about to get okeydoked by these Big Jimmies. [The Wrestling Blog]

Arianny Celeste Kissing a Giant Banana Penis Statue - I couldn’t feature a big picture of this at the top of the links today, and I urge you to think twice before clicking the link. Imagine if Arianny Celeste was giving head to Yao Ming. That’s sorta what you’re getting into. [Cage Potato]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 7/25 - Be sure to catch up on pro wrestling during this one time per decade when it starts getting good. The comments sections of these posts are the coolest and most humbling thing ever, by the way, and I wish I had better ways to say thanks. But thanks. [With Leather]

Barack Obama Meets The Stupid Guy Who Needs Attention From The San Francisco Giants - Alternate title, “Brian Wilson Does More With His Suit Than Our President Has Done In Years”. Not sure I’m HARDBALL~ enough to make that title work, so we’ll stick to making fun of my least favorite baseball player. [With Leather]

Try With Leather Free Fantasy Baseball - It’s a free, fun thing you can do that takes two seconds and covers one night, and you can win $300 dollars and there are Kate Upton pictures. I can’t push this any harder, just go sign up for it, please. [With Leather]

Boston Bruins-Themed Wedding Reception - Behold, a wedding full of people who probably have the worst female accent of all time. [With Leather]

Not Sports

John Goodman Joins Community - They’re trying to fill season 3 with my favorite people from the history of television, first Omar, now Dan Conner. I’m going to wake up tomorrow and read “Margaret Farquhar from that square dancing episode of The Wonder Years joins Community”. [Warming Glow]

The Big Lebowski House and 6 Other “On The Market” Film & TV Homes You’re Too Poor to Buy - It’s a John Goodman sort of morning. The next link is “overweight preacher beats escaped convict with enormous tree branch, click to see the gallery”. [UPROXX]

Supercut: Cinema’s Greatest Mirror Pep Talks - I love these and wish I knew how to make them. I wouldn’t have good concepts, either, I’d just make a supercut of every time somebody said “Gump” in Forrest Gump. Then people would stop going to Film Drunk :( [Film Drunk|

13 Things You Didn't Know About Saved by the Bell - To be fair, I knew most of these. So it's like four things you didn't know about Saved By The Bell. Or, if you're a normal person, 13 Things You Didn't Know About Saved By The Bell. [Unreality]

Because there’s nothing the Internet loves more than a viral video about a wedding,

On 7-23-2011 Lauren and Wes got married in front of many family and friends, showing their true love and bond between them for the rest of their lives… Yet they we still celebrating the Bruins Stanley Cup Victory in 2011, and this is how they came to enter their wedding reception in and EPIC fashion… We Got The CUP!!!! Boston Bruins 2011 Stanley Cup Champions!!!

Not a lot of black people at this wedding, I’m guessing.

Right now the two top thumb-getters in the video’s comments are “awesome job!” and “f**king obnoxious”, which I think are the only ways people can process something self-described as “epic”. Wedding receptions are supposed to be goofy and fun, so it’s not like they danced down the aisle to Chris Brown. Of course, the comments on Puck Daddy (to whom we give an inflatable Stanley Cup tip) expound on the severity of the situation: “Other people’s weddings and other people’s fantasy sports teams/leagues are the most insipid and banal topics of conversation to the vast majority of the population.”

I don’t know which side I’m on. I don’t think this is more less obnoxious than having two people light a single candle to illustrate their love or drinking out of a big cup or stomping on things, and that stuff usually happens during the wedding part. So yeah, good on them for having a good time.

It seems like we just can’t go a single day without hearing more bad news about the aftermath of the Stanley Cup Finals. Less than a week after the Boston Bruins defeated the Vancouver Canucks to win their first NHL Championship in 39 years, society is still crumbling around us. First, wannabe anarchists and spoiled brats destroyed the beautiful city of Vancouver under the veil of professional sports, furthering my case for mandatory sterilization of hippies and punks. If that wasn’t bad enough, even more Vancouverites took to the streets again over the weekend to vandalize trash cans by putting trash in them and they painted so much graffiti on the walls that they just look like solid colors now. It’s pretty brutal.

Then Boston decided all of that wasn’t enough. On Saturday, thousands of Bostonians gathered in the streets, as they shouted in unison to show their protest of something. I’m not sure what exactly they were rioting against, but it was so bad that they even had to bring in giant duck boats to transport people through the crowds to protect them. And a white guy was rapping. It was one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen.

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The story today should be that the Boston Bruins won their first Stanley Cup in 39 years. The story should be that Bruins goalie Tim Thomas, who was considered at one point to be done because of injuries and an unorthodox style, delivered one of the greatest Game 7 performances in Stanley Cup Finals history. Hell, the story should be that Boston fans are celebrating all over America today after not giving a flying pig’s poop about this franchise for years. But it’s not.

Instead, the story is about stupidity, arrogance, ignorance, and all of the other things that we detest about sports. After the Vancouver Canucks lost to the Bruins 4-0 last night at the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, fans spilled into the streets and destroyed their beautiful city. While it’s not the first time that we’ve seen the fans of a major city’s sports franchise flip over cars, start fires, attack police, and loot stores, it’s still a pretty f*cked up thing to look at. I’ve been to Vancouver a few times and I consider it to be a pretty remarkable city, but looking at the images after the jump I can’t help but wonder why.

Perhaps it’s a testament to the growing tension among fans to pay an average of $2,100 to watch their team get blown out in the final game of a series that it should have won. Maybe it’s simply a case of a spoiled culture boiling over with a dangerous combination of intoxication, hormones and misdirected rage. Maybe Vancouver’s fans thought that those kids giving their lives in Egypt and Syria were just upset about their stupid hockey team losing. I don’t really know or care what the cause is. The fact is that it’s just flat out stupid. But congrats to Boston fans for a victory and for being the better people.

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Rachel McAdams enjoys watching her beloved Canucks. I wonder where this is going.

I’m not much of a hockey fan these days, what with my beloved St. Louis Blues playing by the philosophy of rebuilding one decade at a time, but some friends of mine have told me that there is nothing more exciting in sports than Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. And since there is a Boston team involved, it can be especially fun when fans that haven’t cared about the Bruins in 20 years spill into the streets of Beantown tonight to celebrate their first Stanley Cup victory in 39 years or celebrate simply having a reason to flip cars, tear down light poles and wake up in drunk tanks with no clue where their pants are.

But everything that I have read and seen about this series has favored the Vancouver Canucks. Sure, they’re the team expected to win and they’ve certainly been impressive throughout the playoffs and regular season. Boston, on the other hand, is a huge underdog hoping to prevail much like the Dallas Mavericks just did in the NBA Finals. However, the more statistical analysis that I read and expert opinion I try to comprehend, my ultimate prediction of the Canucks winning Game 7 tonight comes down to one all-important factor – Boobs.

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In the cutest moment to happen since Kate Upton taught us how to Dougie, a roving cameraman put The Notebook‘s Rachel McAdams up on the JumBoTron during game four of the Stanley Cup Finals and she got super excited about it.

These days it’s hard for celebrities to curry public favor, and every few months there’s a new sex tape scandal or an US Magazine cover about how they’re pregnant-but-not-really trying to keep somebody in the public eye, but you know what? Something human and cute like this goes a long way. It’s nice to see someone enjoying themselves, and to know that being up on a big screen for most of your adult life hasn’t taken away the novelty.

At least I hope it hasn’t. I hate to be that guy, but the lack of sound and the peaceful arrangement of fans around her make this look a little fishy. Look at those people in front of her, they look like they should be on the wall over the concession stands at Progressive Field.

[via EW]