“Boston Strong” emerged as a motto for a city shaken by the terrorist bombings at the Boston Marathon. You may recall seeing that ribbon projected onto the ice during the incredible mass-singing of the Star-Spangled Banner before the 4/17 Bruins/Sabres game or hanging around while David Ortiz declared Boston “our f**king city.” It’s not about politics, and it’s especially not about sports … it’s about coming together and soldiering through any adversity forced upon you by the sickest people in the world, because you’re strong, and that’s all you can be.

I reiterate, it is not about sports.

Canada did not get that memo. Please direct your attention to Monday’s NHL Easter Conference quarterfinals game 3 between the Boston Bruins and the Toronto Maple Leafs, wherein a Leafs fan though it would be totally kosher to bring a Boston Strong parody sign. Again, just so I can make sure I’m typing this correctly, a hockey fan thought it would be awesome to make a parody ribbon and announce that “liking the Toronto Maple Leafs” is stronger than “rebuilding your city after an act of terror.”

Here you go:

Read the rest of this entry »

Without the stars, of course.

Today’s been an emotional one at Fenway Park. The Boston Bruins-style “everybody sings our national anthem in unison” moment has officially become a Boston staple. Pat-down lines were endless. Tears were non-stop. At the perfect moment, David Ortiz dropped the mother of all f-bombs, and baseball helped do what it always does: makes us feel better about the stupid shit in our lives that isn’t baseball.

Read the rest of this entry »

Boston’s Fox 25 News has a pretty straight-forward story about someone waltzing into Fenway Park and leaving with the muppet shell that constitutes Wally The Green Monster, the Boston Red Sox mascot.

Boston police and Fenway Park security were searching for the “Wally the Green Monster” costume Friday.

Security told Boston police that someone put the costume on and walked out of the park. Wally was last seen heading toward Ipswich Street.(via Fox 25 News)

The Boston Herald, on the other hand, has gone out of their way to make the situation as much like a missing person report as possible. After reading it, I’m pretty sure Wally’s been kidnapped and is being housed in a warehouse somewhere with a gun to his head.

“It is Wally the Green Monster that has been stolen,” Officer Nicole Grant told the Herald.

A call came in for a larceny in progress at 2:22 p.m. from an address at the corner of Boylston and Dartmouth streets. The culprit was last seen in the area of Boylston and Fairfield streets, police report. Police have also checked the Common to see if Wally was taking a stroll through the park.

The Red Sox confirmed the costume is missing and police are searching the MBTA for Wally. A police helicopter has also joined the search as the hunt is on in the Hub for Wally. (via Boston Herald)

I’m not a fan of the Red Sox and I’ve never met Wally (surprising, especially if you know me), but I swear I will sit by this computer screen diligently throughout the weekend and update you with every bit of available information that surfaces about The Green Monster’s whereabouts. The mascot who shares a name with something Manny Ramirez used to pee in deserves better, dammit.

Read the rest of this entry »

The latest clip from Funny Or Die starring New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is not only funny, it’s a pretty solid metaphor for the creative process.

In the video, Brady goes into a store looking to buy some shirts (because Giselle likes shirts) and gets nothing but hassle from the guy he asks for help. No matter what he does, the sales clerk tells Brady he’s got a thick Boston accent and just makes fun of him to his face about it for five minutes. Eventually Brady gives up arguing, screams in his face and storms away. For a moment the guy wants to follow Brady and fight him, but gives up immediately.

That’s the creative process in a nutshell. You’re just trying to provide a service (or exchange money for goods and services, as it were) and the people listening to you decide you do something terrible and won’t stop announcing it. No matter how hard you argue they’ve made up their mind, and eventually all you can do is scream GOD DAMMIT in their face, knock over a cardboard cutout of the important person (you) and leave. When you do, they feel challenged and want to “take you down a peg”, but ultimately do nothing.

It’s been a hard writing day. Video is below.

Read the rest of this entry »

Reality TV’s knockout combo of talking heads and inanimate 38-year old women has made “The Real Housewives Of ______” an easy joke, but when it’s done right, it can be really, really right. Case in point:”The Real Houseweives Of South Boston”, by way of Buzzfeed.

Somehow it manages to be hilarious, exactly like a real Real Housewives episode (complete with inexplicable dinner party) and a perfect encapsulation of every character I’ve ever seen from a movie set in Boston. Seriously, if one of these women had a gun this could pass for five minutes of The Town. If they aired the show as is on ESPN in Primetime I wouldn’t even know it was a joke.

Moments to look out for: Paul Pierce Jr. (and the pitch-perfect dichotomy of prejudiced white folks who love black people), Boston fans only liking home runs (didn’t need a parody video to tell me that) and the phrase “I f**k athletes. These are my trophies”.

[backwards hat tip to Mr. Matt Ufford]

For far too long the Philippines have languished in a void of cultural irrelevance, known primarily for their women becoming nurses or mail order brides. But that’s all about to change, as the country’s protagonists of enrichment are going to put themselves on the map for something truly important – pillow fighting.

The owners of the Hotel Sogo, which boasts 20 locations throughout the Philippines, are urging their fellow countrymen to join them as “United Pillow Fighters”, which can bring in a completely different crowd if written poorly, as part of Pillow Fight Manila 2001 and an attempt at breaking the world pillow fighting record.

“We will call on our kababayans (fellowmen) to help us break the world record for the largest number of people participating in a pillow fight,” Gus Corpus, Hotel Sogo’s chief operating officer, said in a statement.

Hotel Sogo said a wave of pillow fights will run in colleges and universities starting this month to encourage people ages 16 and above to register as “United Pillow Fighters.”

Among these schools are the Polytechnic University of the Philippines, where over 100 students took part in a pillow fight last Friday, July 1. (Via ABS-CBN News)

The current record is held by a group in England that gathered 3,706 participants in 2008 to benefit the BBC’s Children in Need event. Corpus wants at least 5,000 Filipinos to join him at his event, which doesn’t have an official venue or date yet, but who cares about silly little details like that?

Read the rest of this entry »