If you weren’t taking inventory of your beef jerky and pornography for the rapture on Saturday, there’s a good chance that you tuned into the 136th annual Preakness Stakes to see Shackleford out-horse the rest of this year’s equine contenders. Shackleford notably surrendered the lead to Animal Kingdom at the Kentucky Derby earlier this year, and it appeared to be déjà vu all over again as Kingdom made a late run at the Preakness title. But Shackleford held Kingdom off to eliminate any hopes of a Triple Crown win this year, so now we can talk about what really matters – girls in bikinis.

Everyone knows that the real Preakness highlights take place at the infield party, and this year’s party was off the chain, hook and any other slang terms that the kids use these days. Not only could you check out the ladies of the 2011 Jagermeister International Bikini Contest, but you could also stalk hang out with infield hostess and former WWE star Stacy Keibler, as well as enjoy music by Bruno Mars and Train. Did I say enjoy? Sorry, that was careless of me.

There were also plenty of sort-of-celebrities in attendance, and the Baltimore Sun’s extensive Preakness coverage captured all of the action, including the bikinis and celebs.

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While interacting with his fans at the NFL Xperience in Dallas, Desmond Howard was confronted by an irate Phil Simms, who has been holding an apparent grudge against Howard since he called Phil’s son, Matt Simms, one of the three worst quarterbacks in the SEC. Howard is a college football analyst, so it’s his job to give insight and opinions, but Phil doesn’t seem to understand that. So he instead resorted to physically threatening Howard, which required police involvement.

Matt, of course, plays for the Tennessee Volunteers and he threw for 1,460 yards and 8 touchdowns during the 2010 season, so he wasn’t anything to brag about. But I will avoid making any further remarks, since I don’t want Phil threatening me. I’ve already been yelled at by Boomer Esiason’s daughter, Sydney, for calling him an idiot, so I don’t want another former NFL QB getting mad at me just because his son sucks.

Jimmy at Hot Clicks (via Maj) just ruined my childhood. Here’s former Bengals/Jets/Cardinals quarterback Boomer Esiason is here onstage with current Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, and they’re…actually, I don’t know what the hell they’re doing. In fact, I stopped the video here because I really didn’t want to find out what happened next. It’s bad enough that Pete Rose is banned from baseball and that Johnny Bench is probably gay. There’s only so much abuse a Cincinnati-area sports fan can take. Those curious can take a gander after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »