What’s a volleyball double kill, you say? It’s when a well-placed spike gives an opposing player a concussion, then ricochets into the stands and takes out a fan. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED. (via Cosby Sweaters)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Pete Campbell Gets Punched In The Face A Lot In Real Life, Too |Warming Glow|

Behold, The Kinda-Racist Rockford IceHogs ‘Los IceHogs’ Poncho Hockey Jersey |With Leather|

Long Live The Wave: Chase N. Cashe’s 13 Favorite Max B. & Stack Bundles Songs |Smoking Section|

Jay Cutler Aware The Internet Makes Fun Of Him |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

‘Save the Date’ has those pretty girls you like |Film Drunk|

The Conan O’Brien Halo 4 Easter Egg |Unreality|

How It Should Have Ended: Casino Royale |High Definite|

Read the rest of this entry »

Here are some great jokes about this video of a shifty series of events at a women’s college soccer match, assuming you are a total asshole:

1. What a crazy looking kitchen! It’s full of grass and people playing soccer!
2. “C’mon it’s not like she hasn’t had balls in her face before…”
3. She throws like a girl!
4. something else about kitchens

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I hope you enjoy one of the most spectacularly dirty plays I’ve ever seen, and a living exercise in one player not being able to figure out how to get her face the hell away from the ball. She’s throwing it at your head over and over, pay attention! Or shit, worse case scenario, kick her in the chest with your shin when she jogs by to chat with the ref. Zidane her. Do something besides just standing there holding your head like a goon.

All joking aside, I think we can all agree that the lady chucking soccer balls at peoples’ faces in the history’s most low-stakes game is the worst person and the best ever at soccer.

[h/t to OTBS]

The unexpected theme of the week at With Leather has been “soccer is a bad idea and hurts everyone”. We’ve written about a soccer player driving a Porsche through the front of a convenience store at 5:30 in the morning and another sliding dong-first into a goal post trying to stop a shot, not to mention Taiwan’s perspective and a sniper’s on the epidemic of diving. It’s like an entire world of people who cried wolf, then didn’t have anyone around to help them when they lost a testicle or obliterated an entire rack of Funyuns with a luxury automobile.

In the latest example of soccer hurting everyone who goes near it, “football practice goes wrong” chronicles the efforts of a dad who puts his tiny baby child in goal, then blindly kicks a ball toward it as hard as he can as if nothing would happen. I mean, he acts like it was an accident, but all signs point to this guy piefacing an infant for fun and showing it to the Internet. Why even make the kid stand there? SMDH at you, soccer guy.

Now the official list reads:

1. Do not have children.
2. Do not kick soccer balls at childrens’ faces.
3. Do not video tape yourself doing numbers 1 or 2.

[via Sportress]

Here’s a man who should probably consider a future of boxed seating. Though I’ve never really had the honor of lunging for a foul ball directed in the general vicinity of my well being besides the one time at a Reading Phillies game when a screaming liner ended up 8 rows above me and I found myself curled up under my seat in the fetal position begging every God in my memory bank for mercy, I’d have to assume that most human beings are generally capable of putting up a better attempt at fielding a foul ball then this poor unfortunate soul at last night’s Texas Rangers-Minnesota Twins game whose eye has seen better days. Let’s hope that eye wasn’t that important to him.

Though most people usually feel pretty safe surrounded by 40,000 people at a major league baseball game (unless you’re a Florida Marlins fan, in which you can change that number to 62), I’ve always found myself with that tiny thought in the back of my head that, you know, at any moment Ryan Howard could potentially knock my skull off. When I hear the crack of the bat at heart I always think, “Alright, which fat person am I hiding behind today?” This guy thought otherwise. Now this is purely assumption, of course, but when that ball is flying at your face at 120 miles per hour, the flight or fight kicks in and this dude decided that he had enough baseball chops to make the catch.

Unfortunately for him, his hands decided to outsource the catching duties to his left eye ball and we’re left laughing at a poor guy who just wanted to make his momma proud with a souvenir. Hey, for what it’s worth at least he looks cooler with the baseball to the eye than the guy to his right who kind of looks like he just got his privates tickled by a slimy octopus, eh?

Also, look on the bright side; that evil lady behind him now has a really awesome facebook profile picture.

H/T Sportress of Blogitude