If you haven’t seen this video, I’m not going to spoil it for you. Click play, watch it, then experience what is either the mute button or an NESN having a crisis of the soul during a Red Sox/Orioles game. The absolute best part is the deadpan video description:

Nick Markakis takes strike one.

He sure does. This video is part of what I can only assume will be a never-ending series of guys grabbing boobs in public, because if you’re sitting next to your girlfriend for more than twenty minutes, chances are you’re going to (or at least want to) touch her boobs. I don’t know why we’re wired like that, but we are. Maybe it’s our 21st century equivalent to marking our territory. At least we aren’t pissing on you, ladies!

I think the public boob grab can be all right as long as you don’t make a face like that one weird soccer fan and you keep it to a minimum. It helps if you make the NESN guys laugh so hard they have to mute themselves for two minutes. Somebody listening at home is wondering what the next pitch is probably going to be, but nope, they aren’t going to find out because those nice young couples enjoying a summer night at Fenway Park are sexually active. (spoiler alert: another sh**ty fastball)

[h/t Bob's Blitz]

For 12 long, and I mean really long years, 52-year old Annie Hawkins-Turner has been a Guinness World Record holder for possibly the most important triumph in the history of womankind – she has the largest breasts in the world. Known to the adult film industry – and probably one awesome chiropractor – as Norma Stitz, this record holder is no secret to the world. But I had no clue who she was, so it’s news to me.

She also appeared on “This Morning”, a magazine show in England, this morning to reveal that her gigantic 102ZZZ breasts weigh in at 56 pounds each. But more impressive than that is her incredible film work.

• Norma’s First Home Video #1
• Norma Stitz Swings to the Beat #13
• Norma Stitz and Her Bra #14
• Norma Stitz the Giant #24
• Norma Stitz Wakes Up Wet and Ready #27
• Norma Stitz Smokes; Norma Stitz @ 295 lbs. #33
• Norma Stitz /Japan/ Guinness Books of Records #36
• Norma Stitz The Unusual Maid #39

(Wikipedia)

What would be unusual about a maid with 112-pounds worth of chesticles? Well, except the post-workday search, of course. I’ve also included a clip of a very special cameo she made in one of my favorite movie genres, zombie horror.

You know, I’ve received some negative feedback in the past when I’ve posted about world records as a form of competition to justify their presence on an alleged sports site. I’m just hoping that we can end that debate today, because I can’t name anything much more athletic than carrying around two 56-pound mammary machines for at least 12 years.

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Near the end of of game 2 between Sharks and Canucks in Vancouver, a blonde woman with pierced nipples and I guess not much else going for her decided to go boobs-to-box and flash San Jose’s Ben Eager during a penalty. Not only is this the kind of amazing happenstance that will be reported on every single website today (including Cute Overload, Post Secret and Is It Christmas), but flashing a guy named “Ben Eager” gives me the most indoor Nerf-hooped pun of all time. That’s like whipping out your junk in front of a lady named Fanny Johnson.

Check out the censored, relatively safe for work version of the video here, because your work hates nipples, but doesn’t mind the entire rest of the boob. The video is brought to you by The Score, and I bet you couldn’t tell after seeing THE SCORE written all over the place and plastered on the lady like they gave birth to her.

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I know I’m mostly a baseball and pro wrestling guy (and softball, if anything ever happens with that), but as the editor of With Leather it’s my duty to write about all arenas of sport, so I’m making an effort to get into things. For example, there’s this thing called “football” that a lot of people I know enjoy. It’s a lot like baseball, only with more fat people and constant time-outs. Seriously, how can you watch football? There are like four penalties thrown for every player that moves. If you want to win the Super Bowl, just stand still all season, they won’t be able to do anything to you.

And yes, I’m kidding. I’m just trolling you, I know why you watch football. I’m not that much of a jerk. You watch it because you’re drunk!

Sports

Inside Camp Eli - Eli Manning always seems like he’s one step away from donning a denim vest and becoming the NFL’s version of Ernest. I can picture him now, hanging onto a windowsil until somebody closes the window on his fingers, then staring down at his fingers calmly for a while before looking at the camera and screaming. [KSK]

Hilary Swank Publicly Palms Paramour’s Package at Mavs-Lakers Game - This is pretty funny (and a nice contrast to yesterday’s “stop grabbing our boobs at sporting events” article), but I’m still a little disappointed that the picture isn’t Hilary Swank palming the girl from Paramore. [Sportress of Blogitude]

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(Note: This is the closest I will ever come to writing about horse racing, at least until the next time somebody guns down a horse on the track and I have to type WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE WHY DO YOU ENJOY THIS. Also, I won’t be covering dog racing, fox hunting, chicken choking or organized whale punching. Actually, I take that back, if Reggie Bush talks about choking his chicken on Twitter I will probably write about that.)

Sports

Tom Brady Trolls the Kentucky Derby - Tom Brady is either the coolest Eddie Blake mother-effer walking the Earth or a complete nerd idiot. I hope he shows up to next year’s Kentucky Derby in one of those two-person horse costumes and shouts to people about how he thought it was a masquerade ball. Gisele Bundchen can be the ass part of the horse. [KSK]

10 Things to Do On Sundays If There Is No Football - “Help around the house. JUST KIDDING” is funny, but “watch MLS soccer” is the one that hits closest to home. My friends are systematically trying to get me into soccer, and I’m peacefully trying to follow my routine of not enjoying something until five years after everyone’s gotten over it. I’m going to get into Scrubs in about a year and a half (haha no I’m not) – [Pineriders]

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The title loosely translates to “A self-evident hand that the arbitrator does not see” and so far it’s only got 3,000 views on YouTube (to the amazement of Jimmy Traina), but don’t let those facts dissuade you — what you are about to watch is a wonderful, flagrant moment wherein a guy gets a handful of boob and does his best with it. He’s dressed like a package of butter and kinda looks like somebody Chow Yun Fat would be gunning down in a restaurant, but his girlfriend (at least I hope that’s his girlfriend) just sits there and takes it. Poor thing.

The announcers seem to be having fun with it, and I learned (through the comments section) that if I want to laugh about something in Spanish I have to type “jajajajajajajajaja.” I bet this guy wouldn’t move out of the way and let a fly ball hit his girlfriend … he’d catch it and start rubbing it on his crotch. Ja ja!

[via Twitter]