During this year’s Summer Olympics, NBC’s best play-by-play analyst was Retta, who plays Donna on ‘Parks And Recreation’. Her tweets about chocolate tumblers and the Olympics trying to break a bitch were amazing, and as sports bloggers it’s our duty to shine the spotlight on every legitimately hilarious person who touches sports.

Not only is Retta’s show one of the best on television right now, it’s also one of the most sports friendly. That makes it a perfect fit for Sports On TV, our column dedicated to the best sports moments of shows about something other than sports. This is the first still-on-the-air show we’ve attempted to cover, so if you’re reading this a year from now and are all, “HEY, WHERE’S THE EPISODE WHERE MCKAYLA MARONEY SHOWS UP AND ANDY WINS THE LONG JUMP” or whatever, give us a break, we aren’t time travelers.

With greatest possible love to Retta, Michael Shur, Greg Daniels and the rest of the talented people making my favorite 30 minutes of any given week, here are our 20 favorite sports moments from ‘Parks And Recreation’. I don’t know what this is, but I want you to read all of it.

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Patrick Knight, who took the reins of the Texas Tech men’s basketball team when his famous father quit midseason in 2008, was cut loose today. Knight, son of three-time national championship coach Bob Knight, and his staff will remain intact through Texas Tech’s run in the Big XII tournament this week.

“We’ve lost seven games in the last minute,” he said, according to the Associated Press. “This program is competitive. But that’s not for me. I mean, honestly, I’m going to be coaching here, I’m going to be coaching somewhere else. I’ve proven I can coach. I run a clean program, I don’t cheat, my players graduate and we have discipline. So if you don’t want me here there’s going to be someone else that wants me.”

Patrick Knight obviously knows nothing about college basketball, because none of those things he listed are “win lots of games” and “compete for Final Four appearances.” In three full seasons, Knight amassed a 16–42 conference record and only made the NIT once. But he never physically assaulted any of his players, either. It’s tough to keep a job without occasionally choking your subordinates. Especially in Texas.

Universally beloved Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski moved into second place on the all-time NCAA men’s basketball wins list, as his Blue Devils defeated UNC-Greensboro 108-62 last night at the Greensboro Coliseum. The win is No. 880 of Coach K’s 35-year career, and he now sits 22 wins behind Bobby Knight, and also when he pees, according to every North Carolina Tar Heels fan.

The win is Duke’s 22nd in a row, as the No. 1 ranked Blue Devils had a nice eight days of rest before their grueling matchup with UNC-Greensboro last night. But while the win is nice and the ranking is great and team playing at its best despite injuries is exceptional, this moment is all about one man and his place in the history books. One man is bigger than the moment, and I think everyone would agree that we need to be showering praise upon Coach K. Take it away, Mikey…

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This video, taken shortly after the invention of the moving picture, shows a young Bobby Knight calmly explaining why he enjoys the word "fuck" so much.  Huh.  And here I was, thinking it was just rage issues.

Bob Knight and Bill Parcells coached together at Army in the 1960s, which actually makes a lot of sense. That was the best place to avoid damn dirty hippies. Anyway, that unique kinship that comes from serving in the military (even obliquely) and hating communists has lasted into the 21st century, where everything moves too damn fast and kids these days with their cell phones and–

Oh, sorry. Anyway, my point is that Bobby Knight is just like everybody else on the planet except Terrell Owens in that he hates Terrell Owens:

"How'd you like to coach Terrell Owens?" Knight said. "Terrell Owens would have gotten me out of coaching a hell of a lot quicker than he got Parcells out of it."

God damn, T.O. — Bobby Knight had stranglehold (ahem) on the title "biggest asshole in sports" for several decades, and even HE thinks you're an asshole. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, but… those painkillers aren't going to swallow themselves, know what I'm sayin'?