Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen have a lovely history. A couple of years ago, Silva gave Sonnen calm, constructive feedback about how the positives of fight promotion don’t outweigh the need to respect your opponents. Sonnen meekly accepted it with a “thank you.” Years later, SUDDENLY~, Sonnen thought Silva’s feedback was a “dirtbag move,” claiming he didn’t know what Silva was actually saying and vowing to “straighten this thing out.” Because, you know, as we’ve seen, Chael Sonnen’s trash talk always leads to something positive for him.

Anyway, word of the call-out has gotten back to Silva, and he responded with a conversational knockout blow on Fuel’s ‘UFC Tonight’:

“Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have been too nice to Chael. I want to suck his blood. I want to smell it. Not just fight – I want to hurt him. Chael is a joke, man. He’s going to be second forever. He’s never going to be first,” Silva said to Ariel Helwani. (via Cagewriter)

Ouch. That’s certainly a more valid and damning criticism than Sonnen’s “he uploaded a video to YouTube without my approval” angle. And check out that swift escalation from “you’re a dirtbag” to “I’m going to drain you of your blood with my mouth and also smell it because I hate you and your life is meaningless.”

Good luck with that, Chael. Maybe you should try calling out Bob Sapp?

This is what happens when you get hit and your face makes a beeline for the ice.

The guy in an Olympic-sized pool of his own blood is Lars Eller of the Montreal Canadiens. He was minding his own business when Ottawa’s Eric Gryba decided to paint a beautiful portrait on the ice in the medium of broken nose. He also used a touch of “concussion” and heavy strokes of “making a dude faceplant against his will.”

Here’s a fairly graphic clip of the hit, courtesy of Hockey Video HD, assuming you’d like to see the blood actually leaving his face.

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Two disclaimers before you watch this video:

1. It is pretty disgusting, and while I wouldn’t necessarily call it NSFW, it can be nausea-inducing for anyone squeamish about blood.

2. I’m pretty sure it was filmed with a calculator.

If you’re okay with all that, here’s what you’re watching: Brazilian soccer player Chicao (which is difficult to type without just typing “Chicago” and backspacing) gets elbowed, gets busted open, wipes his blood on the face of the guy who elbowed him and gets suspended. Fair enough.

Chicao said he got upset when he realized that he had a cut above his eye after being elbowed in the face by Esley as they challenged for the ball. He got up and put his bloodied hand on Esley’s face.

The incident ignited a brawl that involved players from both teams and led to Chicao and Esley being sent off.

The tribunal suspended Esley for five matches for the elbowing.

My first instinct is to tag this with Reasons To Hate Soccer, but I’m reconsidering. It’s actually pretty awesome. Imagine how great it would’ve been if Joe Theismann had gotten up on one foot and rubbed his noodle leg in Lawrence Taylor’s face? The guy would be a legend.

[h/t to It's Always Sunny In Detroit]

Shaquille O’Neal romanticized the image of a shattered backboard. It’s the ultimate assertion of dominance, you’d say to yourself as you dunked on an 8-foot rim or ripped a Nerf hoop off the inside of your door. Well, Shaq sort of exists outside the realm of human possibility, because when Oregon State sophomore guard Roberto Nelson ripped down the backboard he carried it to the floor on his face.

The mayhem starts at about the 2:10 mark in the video — playing in an organized game in Skopje, Macedonia, for a service-based traveling college basketball team called “Beavers Without Borders”, Nelson goes up for a dunk and shatters the sh** out of the goal, shredding his face and getting 20 stitches, all while trying to figure out how to say “I’m sorry” in Macedonian. Firstly, telling people who got those scars shattering a backboard in Macedonia is pretty awesome. Secondly, I think the paintings of Georgia O’Keeffe are Beavers Without Borders.

On a serious note, Beavers Without Borders are in Skopje is to do construction work for local families in need, and that’s a cool cause. And it gives you a great, lay-up joke about Roberto Nelson’s deconstruction skills.

[h/t Off the Bench]

Watch in stunned silence (because there isn’t any sound) as Canadian figure skater Eric Radford briefly makes figure skating exciting by having his nose broken and bloodied.

About eleven seconds in (thank God), he throws his partner into the air, and little Megan Duhamel comes crashing back down with a Mitsuharu Misawa-style roaring elbow to the face. And while it might sound weird considering he’s a figure skater, he didn’t blade: he bled hardway. If puroresu references aren’t your bag, she hit him with a Spin Attack. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know, she elbowed him in the nose by accident?

To his credit (or possibly to his discredit), Radford cowboy’d up and finished the routine, which earned him a score of 58.83 and a seventh-place finish in the short program. They will skate for the championship on Friday. YEAHHH GET HYPE.

[via Yahoo]

This is a screencap for “Happy Wheels,” and I’m not exaggerating in the least when I say that this is the greatest video game of all time. Greater than “Super Mario Bros.” Greater than the Madden series. More revolutionary than Pong. Sexier than “Tomb Raider” and still scarier than “Space Invaders.” This game has it all, and I haven’t even mentioned the best part–it’s Flash-based and totally free.

And yes, that is a guy wearing a helmet, sitting on a bike as his limbs are being blasted off his body from the impact of his jumping. It’s one of five characters you can choose to finish each course (including Segway Guy, Fat Supermarket Lady, Old Man With Rocket-Powered Wheelchair, and Couple On A Moped)The physics in the game are just as good as the gore, so navigating your character through each peril-filled board feels incredibly intuitive for a flash-based game. Just make sure you stick your landings, or your characters will curse your existence as his body is mashed into oblivion. And then once you beat all the levels in the game, you can create your own.

So enjoy. You weren’t going to do any work today anyway.