Like most U.S. Olympic athletes, swimmer Ryan Lochte has been on a whirlwind media tour since returning home from London, but the truth is that the nation’s love affair with the multiple gold medal-winner began long ago. Throughout the Olympics, interviews with Lochte popped up left and right, and the question on everyone’s mind was: “What’s next for this handsome, single stallion?” Of course we already know that the immediate answer is Dancing with the Stars and probably The Bachelor.

But Lochte also wants everyone to know that he’s so much deeper than just a reality TV tool. Sure, he’ll cut his teeth in Hollywood by doing the cha-cha with Kym Johnson and pretending like there’s a shot in hell he’d marry some broad off the street because she made out with him more than a dozen other nameless girls. Acting, though, is what is swimming in his blood, and he is hellbent on establishing a brilliant career on TV and the silver screen. First up? 90210. Start polishing those Emmys.

Need more proof? Buzzfeed recently put together some highlights of Lochte’s best interviews, and that man has a gift. And if a recent Tweet is any indication, it appears that Lochte might even be the next Channing Tatum. None of that matters to me, though. I learned all I need to know about him during his interview with Piers Morgan earlier this month. Lochte told Not Larry King that he can see himself acting opposite Blake Lively, and according to my oracles of truth and brilliance in the YouTube comments section, Ryan Reynolds better watch his back.

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The only way this is actually skee ball is if the guy who runs the course has to come over, open it up and fix it every 15 minutes. (via Sweater Punch)

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Links

Meme Watch: Ridiculously Photogenic Guy Is Making The Internet A More Attractive Place |UPROXX|

20 Creepy Print Ads That Will Give Your Heebie Jeebies the Willies |Warming Glow|

The Awfulness Of Star Wars Kinect Inspires Harrison Ford Mashup And Gifs |Gamma Squad|

Blake Lively gets double teamed by drug dealers |Film Drunk|

The Dugout Opening Days ’12: Tampa Bay Rays |With Leather|

The Miami Heat And Oklahoma City Thunder Just Sold The NBA Finals |Smoking Section|

Texts From Hillary Wins The Internet Today |UPROXX|

‘Anchorman’ + ‘Hunger Games’ = Classy GIFs |UPROXX|

Mikkey Halsted Feat. Lupe Fiasco – “Gone” |Smoking Section|

Jesse Eisenberg’s sister is that girl from those Pepsi commercials |Film Drunk|

Give Me All The Years Without A Championship You Have |With Leather|

Star Wars Condoms Are The Protection You’re Looking For |Gamma Squad|

Is Jennifer Love Hewitt the Most Consistently Attractive ‘90s TV Star? |Warming Glow|

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I’m entering my second month as editor of With Leather, and I don’t think the readership totally understands me. I’ve gotten a few criticisms for “trying too hard,” which is sort of like your parents telling you you’re “being smart” in the realm of things to worry about. But I do try too hard, just in general, so I’m going to take a step back to refocus by repeatedly linking you to interviews with me and begging you for your support. I’m wiling to put 100 pages of a nude lady on one big ass page that loads even if you don’t click it if you’ll start enabling me.

I’m going to try less hard to be funny. I’m halfway through Season 6 of “King of Queens” right now, so I’m picking up some great material, and I think I’ll be fine.

Sports

Brandon Stroud: The Interview - Productive Outs did an interview with me, and I tried to be entertaining. Read closely for my thoughts on Kyle Farnsworth, veganism, and professional wrestling. You know, if you don’t read With Leather, because that’s basically all I ever talk about. [Productive Outs]

A Dish Served Cold: Michael Jordan’s 10 Most Memorable Revenge Games - One thing Michael Jordan doesn’t get praised for enough is his chilling, narcissistic heartlessness. Relive most of his classics, including that game when he stabbed Chris Webber for doing a lay-up. [Smoking Section]

New Evel Knievel Biopic Makes a Leap to Big Screen - Based on a book called “The High-Flying Life of Evel Knievel: American Showman, Daredevil, and Legend,” so you know they’ll call the movie “Showman.” Why can movies only have one or two words, and book titles have to have 50? I want to read Moby Dick, not “Call Me Moby Dick: The Story of Captains, Savages, and a Whale of a Tale!” [Moviefone]

Colombian Women Love Pole Dancing - When pole dancing is not respected, you’ve got to TAKE IT TO THE STREETS. These women are like the sexiest Improv Everywhere ever, and as a bonus I don’t want to kill myself every time I see them. [Burnsy.org]

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Boomshakalaka! The nail in the coffin?

Sports

The NBA Finals: 10 Points To Watch - Point one, how many nicknames for Dirk Notwitzki can you come up with while watching? Sports writers can come up with INFINITY. Point two, when writing a recap of the games, how many times can you point out that the Heat seem like nice guys, even though they’re being portrayed as the league’s villains? [Smoking Section]

World’s First BMX Triple Backflip - Witness a first for action sports. Of course, saying “action sports” is like saying “jump diving,” but this is pretty cool. I think BMX clips, win or fail, are 90% people going AOOHHHHH. [Buzzfeed]

Dad Drops His Daughter to Catch Foul Ball - We would’ve covered this on Monday, but if you haven’t seen it yet, watch as this dumb jerk completely sacrifices his kid to go for a foul ball. Maybe this is one kid that won’t grow up yelling BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL at players during games. [Fark]

Productive Outs - A baseball blog. I call them Baseblogs™! And I’m totally not linking it here just because they’ve got an interview with me going up in a couple of hours. Nope! [ProductiveOuts]

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