Earlier in this strange college basketball season, we discussed how some Duke Blue Devils fans allegedly made fun of a NC State player’s personal life by chanting, “How’s your grandma?” after she had recently passed away. And by allegedly I mean that some Duke fans definitely chanted that. But other Duke fans came to their school’s defense and said that I was being a big, ol’ meanie head for picking on Duke, as fans from every school are total dicks, and I definitely don’t disagree with that sentiment. It’s just fun to pick on Duke, that’s all.

In the name of fairness, we’ll pick on another school today, as fans of the University of Wyoming crossed a line, according to some, when they chanted “Alcoholic!” during last Wednesday’s game between the Cowboys and Colorado State. CSU coach Larry Eustachy, of course, has a well-documented history of alcohol abuse, something that previously cost him his coaching gig at Iowa State.

Unfortunately, Wyoming athletics marketing interns saw that decade-old story as rivalry fodder, and distributed a special flyer to catch students and fans up on the story of one man’s battle with addiction.

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"You do not want to rush this floor, Duke fans."

Obviously, when it comes to rivalries, a team’s record doesn’t really matter. If two teams hate each other enough, they’re both usually possessed with supernatural-type powers that allow even the weakest of opponents to play above and beyond their limitations. So when it came to last night’s matchup between the unranked UNC Tar Heels and the No. 2 Duke Blue Devils, we should have obviously expected that it would be a close one. After all, if UNC fans had the balls to steel one of the Duke mascot’s heads and set it on a pike*, then they obviously expected their team to show up.

And the Heels mostly showed up, losing 73-68 on the back of piss-poor free throw shooting in the second half, but that was all good enough to Duke fans, who wanted desperately to rush the court after their team rallied to win. That’s what a rivalry does – it makes the fans of the second best team in the country think that they should rush the court after barely beating an unranked team.

Fortunately, Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski lifted his powerful hands and used the force of darkness to put all Duke fans back in their seats. So instead of rushing the court, they went outside and burned a bunch of stuff**. At least they were nicer this time. Hooray college basketball!

UPDATE: !!!Hilarious college newspaper headline alert!!!

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When the St. Louis Cardinals knocked off the heavily-favored Washington Nationals in the 2012 MLB National League Division Series, it made sense that some fans would be upset. After all, no team can be loved by 100% of baseball fans, not even the classier and more intelligent Cardinals, who are more realistically loved by 98% of fans. But it seems that some Nationals fans have indeed held a grudge against the senior circuit’s perennial underdogs-turned-heroes, and that seething hatred has led to one of the most creative artist’s renderings of a blossoming rivalry that we may ever see.

Created by Reddit user “nats13” – I believe that may be an homage to his favorite baseball team, but my fact checkers are still looking into that – the above portrait features such Nationals stars as Jayson Werth, Tyler Clippard and Kurt Suzuki attacking the Cardinals with an army of laser-equipped dinosaurs. The accuracy is stunning, as the Nats and their powerful army that includes a T-Rex, brontosaurus and pterodactyls are more powerful and advantageous.

However, the underwhelming Cardinals are also well-suited by the stegosaurus and triceratops, which are both noted by historians as the scrappiest and most-efficient dinosaurs. Or I just made that up. Either way, I’m probably going to spend the rest of my day watching Dino Riders.

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Everyone take a seat. We’re going to stray from our typical topics of dick jokes and boob praise in order to have a serious conversation about social injustices. Homeless people exist, my friends. No matter how much we try to look at the ground or pretend that we’re looking at a really interesting thing in the sky when we pass them, homeless people are real and they need to be treated with respect as human beings. Even the homeless dudes who sell drugs outside my local library or the ones inside that library watching porn – they all deserve their dignity.

That’s why ideas like the now defunct “HoboJacket” are supposedly bad for humanity. What exactly is HoboJacket? The philanthropy’s founder, MIT student Jin Pan, explains that it is “a competitive platform where you can donate your rival college’s jackets and shirts to the unfortunate because it’s terribly unfortunate that people actually went to that other college.”

For example, I hate Marshall, so I would donate some Herd gear and $10 to HoboJacket and it would serve two purposes: 1) A person who needs warm clothing would get just that; and 2) People would see a homeless person wearing a Marshall jacket. Basically, because homeless people are all dirty with their big beards, crazy eyes and B.O., this would be embarrassing for Marshall fans.

Now, imagine how this idea has gone over with social activists. Go ahead and check the HoboJacket website for yourself. Yeah, it’s gone over about as well as a fart in a spacesuit.

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What you’re looking at (courtesy of Jason Kirk at SBN by way of TexasAgs.com) may be one of the greater moments of trolling in college football history. Texas A&M is the only non-Big 12 major program in Texas, so they want everyone to know that Texas is now SEC COUNTRY … including Austin Texas, home of the University of Texas Longhorns. That billboard sits on the north side of I-35, just before you get to Tinseltown (which non-Texas bloggers hilariously think is a city, and not a crappy movie theater).

Now, I’m far from a native Texan and my love of local college football comes almost exclusively from ‘King Of The Hill’, but this monstrosity is and will continue to be upsetting to a pretty sizeable chunk of my Facebook wall and therefore must be stopped.

A couple of quick realities for anyone seriously upset by this:

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Back in November, Ohio State President Gordon Gee told the Associated Press that teams like TCU and Boise State didn’t deserve to play for the BCS title because those programs don’t have strong schedules like the teams in the BCS automatic qualifier conferences. Said Gee:

“Well, I don’t know enough about the X’s and O’s of college football,” said Gee, formerly the president at West Virginia, Colorado, Brown and Vanderbilt universities. “I do know, having been both a Southeastern Conference president and a Big Ten president, that it’s like murderer’s row every week for these schools. We do not play the Little Sisters of the Poor. We play very fine schools on any given day. So I think until a university runs through that gantlet that there’s some reason to believe that they not be the best teams to [be] in the big ballgame.”

Boise State lost to Nevada two days later, ruining the Broncos’ BCS hopes, but TCU continued to steamroll opponents, as the No. 3 Horned Frogs finished with a 12-0 regular season record. The Frogs added their exclamation point on New Year’s Day, when they defeated Wisconsin 21-19 in the Rose Bowl. Wisconsin, of course, finished 7-1 in the Big 10 just like Ohio State. So for Gee’s comments, a mysterious TCU supporter has gently extended his middle finger by posting the banner image above on 20 electronic billboards throughout Columbus, Ohio. Well done.

While we can chalk this one up as a W for the little guys, as TCU was the first ever non-automatic qualifier to win the Rose Bowl, Gee and the rest of the big boys are probably still scoffing at the Frogs while they refill their high balls and light cigars with $100 bills. But tread lightly, big conference presidents. TCU will be in the Big East soon enough, so if you thought the Frogs had an easy road now, just you wait.

In the meantime, I was a little surprised to find out that TCU wasn’t the only school to have mystery billboards popping up around the country. Follow along after the jump…

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