Here comes your women’s basketball post for February, and we’re only showing you this either because it had the makings of a ruckus or someone got naked. Nobody got naked. Yeah, that was a horrible tease. My b.

Your poster girl is South Florida post player Porche (POOR-shuh) Grant. She’s 6-foot-2 and ready for you, and after a shoving fracas during the Rutgers game, she shot the “Big 11″ at the Rutgers student section. Bad move, Porche.

The disciplinary action came a day after Grant made an obscene finger gesture as she was escorted off the Louis Brown Athletic Center court following a flagrant foul that caused a scrum underneath the basket. Rutgers guard Khadijah Rushdan was charged with a technical foul after the incident, which saw some shoving but no punches thrown with 38 seconds to play in the Scarlet Knights victory.

–Daily Record.

No punches thrown? Come on, ladies. Curl those dish pan hands up into little fists of fury for us. Just don’t be late with dinner. It’s funny because all women know how to do is cook. And play basketball. And run Alaska.

Video at Deadspin.

Here’s your baseball post for June: The Indians had the first walkoff seagull-poaching of 2009 after…if I can read the card here…Shin-Soo Choo hit a line drive in short center that bounced off a bird and eventually drove in the winning run. Cleveland tagged Kansas City Royals ace Zack Greinke (OMG! ZACK GREINKE!) for three earned runs, two of which were given up after Greinke left the game. His ERA has swelled to a portly 1.72 on the year, with grotesquely obese WHIP of 0.99. Disgusting.