Billy Hunter asking the crowd to "look over there" before sprinting out the fire exit.

As we mentioned yesterday, the NBA owners and players met in New York City again for what many people called the most important meeting of this entire lockout. The media reported over and over that this was the meeting that could make or break this season, David Stern’s final deadline to save the games and get everyone back to action. So of course nobody should be surprised with the result of that meeting – another deadline was set.

“We were not able to make the progress that we hoped we could make and we were not able to continue the negotiations,” Stern said after nearly four hours of talks between owners and players ended without gaining ground on a new deal.

No further meetings are scheduled, making it even more likely the league will lose games to a work stoppage for the first time since 1998-99, when the season was reduced to 50 games.

(Via NBC Sports)

As has been the case through most of this lockout, Pro Basketball Talk has a pretty in-depth breakdown of where the two sides stand in regard to solving this mess. Basically, everyone has wanted the stars to step up and flex their muscle, and they are (finally). The stars want the players to get 53% of basketball related income in the new CBA. The owners offered a 50/50 split, which Stern endorsed and the players rejected. Also, as mentioned yesterday, the agents are kneeling behind Billy Hunter by telling the players to not accept any compromises, and they’re pushing for decertification, which at this point would kill the whole season. And of course there’s that dagger line about no further meetings being scheduled. Well done, guys.

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The taco represents my my hunger for tacos.

With training camps and the first week of preseason games already affected by the ongoing NBA lockout, today’s labor negotiations between the players and owners has, for some strange reason, been labeled the decisive meeting. I say it’s strange because the lockout has been going on since July 1 and yet the players and owners have seemed like finding a solution is the least of their worries, what with their inability to schedule daily meetings and act like they actually give a crap about us fans.

Regardless, here we stand, broken-hearted, we give a damn, but the agents just farted. Actually, the top NBA player agents sent a letter to the players that could very well undermine the best efforts of the players union and executive director Billy Hunter, therefore destroying our hopes for any season at all, but I really wanted to rhyme.

In the letter, agents encouraged players to “fight for what is important.” That included:

•No further reduction of the percentage of BRI received by the players.
•Maintain existing structure of the Bird and mid-level exceptions.
•No reduction in maximum salary from existing levels.
•No reduction in contract length from existing levels.
•No changes to unrestricted free agency and improve restricted free agency.

It ended, “Remember, it is not about when or how fast a deal is reached, it is about taking the time to secure the best deal.”

(Via USA Today)

The agents really, really, REALLY want the players union to decertify. Basically, the agents are trying their hardest to make sure that the players don’t accept what most of us would call a mutually beneficial deal with the owners, and keep the pressure on to get all of the owners’ demands like shortened mid-level contracts and a hard cap thrown away, because the agents need to be able to milk the players for all the money they can.

You see, this isn’t about what us fans want. It’s about making sure that Dwyane Wade gets the $50 million a year that he thinks he deserves and making sure his agent gets his 10%. Because they have families to feed lobster.

Kevin Durant was, as usual, the human highlight reel at this weekend’s Clash of the Superstars charity basketball game in Washington, D.C., and it’s definitely nice to see some of the league’s biggest names using their time to support good causes. But the giving didn’t just begin and end with the charity, as Durant also offered us a little something on the business end, as well as something for the gossip mongers.

First, the above image probably has Chicago Bulls fans fapping with delight and Seattle Supersonics Oklahoma City Thunder fans purchasing nooses and stools. But everyone needs to settle down, as there’s nothing to see here. Sure, it’s strange seeing a star wearing another team’s hat, but it’s the NBA and people do strange stuff all the time. However, if the season is cancelled and contracts aren’t upheld, or if all contracts are somehow declared null and void, then this might be a NBA writer’s wet dream.

In the meantime, let’s talk about business, because Durant already has.

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"Time for a vacation!"

Yesterday, the NBA owners and players union met for what many analysts called a critical conversation that would decide the fate of the league’s camps and preseason games beginning on time. Well, if you’re a fan of training camps and preseason games, I’ve got bad news – the meeting went terribly and you’re poop outta luck. If only the league’s commissioner, David Stern, could put the result of the meeting in a fabulous light.

“Well, we did not have a great day, I think it’s fair to say that,” Commissioner David Stern said. “On the other hand, we did say that it is our collective task to decide what we want on the one hand on each side, and two, what each side needs if we choose to work ourselves in such a way as to have the season start on time. That’s still our goal.” (Via Forbes)

As I have often pointed out, the NBA Lockout began on July 1. Today is September 14, and the commissioner of the league is just now telling us that both sides have set a goal to figure out what they want. In reality, it shouldn’t take more than two months for the players to say they want a 50/50 split of all revenue and the owners to say they want shorter max deals and a harder cap. But apparently it’s easier to find a Lohan a job.

As for Players Union President Derek Fisher, he also thinks that the preseason is a complete wash.

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"This is nice, we should do this again."

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but there isn’t going to be a NBA season this year. The NBA owners locked out the players on July 1, and as those two months have passed, the owners, David Stern and the players’ union have met just two times. It’s important to note that they promised to meet three times in August, but they instead played a nice round of “It’s their fault.” But they all finally met for a whopping six hours yesterday, and I am pleased to report that this thing is still a big f*cking joke.

Players union executive director Billy Hunter delivered the season’s poor prognosis to the New York Daily News, and at this point it’s like all sides could give two Hershey squirts if the season happens or not. Let’s send it over to the BS cliché bad news quote machine:

“We haven’t had a breakthrough yet. We both realize that we need to continue to sit down and meet and talk to get the kind of breakthrough… to make a deal. We have to get that breakthrough, somehow.”

I’d make a smartass comment here about Hunter being promoted to Captain Obvious, but I have a feeling he’s going to follow this quote up with something so much more remarkably stupid.

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