Forgive me, faithful With Leatherheads, for I have sinned. I saw this story loosely related to Reading Football Club the other day and whispered to myself ever so gently, “Hey, maybe throw up a post about those losers” before pouring myself into a bubble bath, but then I forgot because I’m old and stupid. Anyway, Reading is currently only three points better than Queens Park for dead last in the Barclays Premier League standings, so it’s safe to say that they’re not having the best season, at least on the field.

If I wanted to be an optimist, though, I’d say that Reading is only 48 points out of first place, but then I’d probably incite a soccer hooligan riot in the comments, because I never ever get soccer terminology right. That said, I’ll stick to what I know and what I know is that Reading is owned by 30-year old Anton Zingarevich, who is the son of Russian billionaire Boris Zingarevich. And if Jason Bourne and James Bond movies have taught me anything, it’s that Russian billionaires make all of their money by stealing oil pipelines from other billionaires.

So what does a few billion dollars buy a 30-year old? For starters, obviously, a professional soccer club. But much more importantly – since the club in question is awful – this status has also landed Anton a 23-year old wife named Katsia, who just so happens to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, which is something that is obviously very important to me based on what interests me.

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When we first met Formula 1 heiress sisters Petra and Tamara Ecclestone, they were house shopping in Los Angeles so they could begin their own American invasion. The daughters of Formula 1 CEO Bernie Ecclestone never quite caught on as celebrities here in the states, though, as we already have enough spoiled children with no discernible talents and plenty of disposable income. But bless their hearts, the Ecclestone sisters have kept on trying, and Tamara is really ready to catch our attention now that she’s single.

For the sake of differentiating them, Petra is married so we won’t talk about her, and Tamara is the one who pulled $1 million in cash out of her ass for a photo shoot last year. She’s also the one who dumped her no good boyfriend to reclaim her title as the World’s Most Eligible Bachelorette, and she’s not looking for good looks, a chiseled body or unbelievable wealth. She just wants a bro that can make her laugh.

What do you think about that, George Clooney?

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When Tom Brady dumped his girlfriend, actress Bridget Moynahan, while she was pregnant a few years ago, I couldn’t believe what a dick he was. But then he started dating super duper model Gisele Bündchen, and I was like, “Yeah that makes sense now” because if being arguably the best quarterback in the history of the NFL isn’t enough, Brady can soon lay claim to being married to the world’s first billionaire model.

At least that’s what pace Gisele is on now that she has released her own lingerie line for the Brazilian company Hope. Think about that the next time you brag that your wife showed her boobs for free drinks at Chili’s.

After the 40-piece collection hit stores across Brazil the fashion retailer Hope reported a 40 per cent increase in turnover.

Now, the range is expected to be a hit with shoppers worldwide.

And with her products endorsements and business ventures earning a total of £29 million last year, Bündchen is now believed to be on track to becoming the world’s first billionaire supermodel. (Via The Daily Mail)

I’m just going to lay this out there for people to debate – Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen > Jay-Z and Beyoncé > David Beckham and Sporty Baby Scary Ginger Posh Victoria Beckham. I don’t even really think it’s debatable. Find me a bigger power couple than a franchise QB with 3 (possibly 4+) Super Bowl rings and a 31-year old billionaire supermodel wife whose abs could crack a diamond.

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Disclaimer: If your family has a history of high blood pressure or you are easily excitable and find yourself punching random objects, people or pets in dynamic fits of rage, maybe sit this one out. Because it’s a doozie.

Eighty-year old billionaire Bernie Ecclestone has built not only his fortune but his reputation by being the world’s foremost name in the sport of Formula One racing. For decades, and from the earliest days of NASCAR’s classier European cousin, Bernie climbed F1’s ladder of success beginning as a racer and working all the way up to his current reign as CEO.

Sure, he’s shown sympathy for Hitler and when Danica Patrick broke into racing, Bernie said that she should dress in white like all of the other appliances. But other than that, he’s been the brains of classic global financial success. Unfortunately, his daughters have signed on to represent the face.

In July, the U.S. was introduced to Bernie’s 23-year old daughter, Petra, after she borrowed $82.4 million from her mother, former Armani model Slavica, to purchase Aaron and Candy Spellings’ 57,000-sq. ft. mansion, “The Manor,” in Los Angeles. At the time, she said that she needed the massive estate so she could live in America and maintain the level of comfort that she was used to in Britain. However, that is not entirely true.

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Last October, we got the specifics of the 550-foot, $400 million yacht that Chelsea owner/Russian billionaire/likely Bond villain Roman Abramovich was building: it would be the largest yacht in the world, and it would be equipped with missile defense radar, miniature escape submarine, private security force, two helipads, and a disco.  Now that it’s actually built and in the water, the total cost reached a little over $500 million.  But it’s, um, tax deductible?

The son of Jewish parents, Abramovich began his business career selling plastic ducks from a grim Moscow apartment but, within a few years, his vast wealth spread from oil conglomerates to pig farms.

Russia’s richest man has flourished under president Vladimir Putin, with critics saying he used his government ties to take over former state-owned assets and reap the profits for personal use…

Abramovich reportedly lost up to £13billion in the global financial crisis, but he was already in the process of having his biggest-ever yacht built.

Somehow I don’t think Abramovich was sweating defaulting payment on the world’s largest yacht.  Oh,  he has the payment.  Yes, he has the payment right here in this briefcase.  Can you just show him how the death ray he asked for works?  He wants to make sure it’s operational before he pays in full.

|via Rumors and Rants|