Athletes with gigantic personalities should have public catfights way more often.  When Bill Walton basically called Shaquille O'Neal a goldbricker for riding the bench in Miami ("I've seen a lot of spinals, dude"), I didn't think it could get any better than Walton saying, "Shaq's arrogance is an insult to people who think."

But, as we may or may not learn when Shaq takes the court with the Suns, it's best not to count the Big Aristotle out of any contest.  His retort isn't necessarily spirited or even rational, but I certainly enjoy his citation of Big Man Pecking Order Code Ordinance 2257.   Not to be confused with Ordinance 2258, which rules that Ralph Sampson may not sleep with a woman until Wilt Chamberlain has turned her down or had sex with her.

[FanHaus] 

Just to make sure I haven't unfairly libeled Luke Walton as a diseased slummer, I should point out that he's denying any involvement with Little Miss Trainwreck:

Walton stressed that he has never even spoken to [freakshow Britney] Spears, who has attended several Lakers games this season.

"The rumors aren't true," Walton said. "I'm sure Britney is a great person, but I don't even know her. I have a girlfriend. I'm very happy with my relationship.

Has his famous father, Bill, called to ask about the rumors?

"No," Walton said, "my dad probably thinks it's true."

But that's what a couple decades of psychedelic drug use can do to you: anything seems possible… Well, except for that defensive effort by Robert Horry, which was terrible! He didn’t even make it difficult for Rasheed Wallace to score!