SNL Covered The Super Bowl Blackout And Jay Pharoah Should Be Shannon Sharpe Forever

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.11.13

SNL Super Bowl Blackout

Warming Glow usually handles weekly recaps of Saturday Night Live right after it airs. As a site that updates Monday through Friday we don’t always get that timely Sunday morning bump, but SNL covered the Super Bowl Blackout and I’ll be damned if I don’t dedicate a post to Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe impression.

Here’s what the folks at WG (where I one day hope to lord over everyone with my ‘Arthur’ jokes and terrible pro wrestling recaps) had to say about the cold open:

Nice of the SNL makeup department to make Tim Robinson look like Bill Cowher’s thawed-out corpse. Anyway, the cold open started slowly before delivering some solid lines in the final two minutes. JB (the black JB, not the wannabe-black JB) admitting he’s never actually seen 2 Broke Girls was a nice touch, and making Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe reveal, “Ray Lewis knows who killed those people, because it was him!” was what was missing from last episode’s Weekend Update Ray-Ray appearance. Not a great opener, but not bad, either.

If you missed it, video is below. I guess they couldn’t find a realistic Dan Marino wig.

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Tony Sparano Has Faith In The Housing Market

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.27.11

"It's a tree cah garage for all yer Trans Ams."

 

It would be beyond obvious to say that things aren’t going well for the Miami Dolphins. With quarterback Chad Henne out for the season, backup Matt Moore playing with injured ribs, and recent third string retread Sage Rosenfels done for the season, the team had to bring in Buffalo Bills loss manufacturer J.P. Losman for depth. Factor in Anthony Fasano’s latest addition to the players chastising fans for pushing the “Suck for Luck” initiative and we’ve got a full blown mess.

Perhaps nothing is messier than Tony Sparano’s status as head coach. Earlier this week, Yahoo!’s Jason Cole reported that NFL analysts Bill Cowher and Jon Gruden were itching to return to coaching and had mentioned to unnamed people that Miami would fit their desires. CBS stirred the pot further, claiming that the Dolphins had actually been in contact with Cowher. Whether one thing has to do with the other or not, Sparano has put his house up for sale. Again.

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BUFFALO MIGHT GET ONE MORE BILL

Written by JOSH Z / 01.03.10

bill_cowher

So Chris Mortensen caught wind of what he’s calling a “stealth meeting” between the Buffalo Bills and current CBS NFL analyst Bill Cowher. Cowher, who hasn’t coached since the 2006 season, has always been that random name that floated around whenever a head coaching vacancy in the league popped up. So you’re confirming his return! [Falls down stairs] Or you’re not?

It is believed that owner Ralph Wilson Jr. joined team president Russ Brandon to gauge Cowher’s potential interest to return to coaching.

The Bills, who also met with Mike Shanahan after Dick Jauron was fired, believe talks with Cowher were very productive, the sources added, but gave no indication whether Cowher will take their head-coaching position if it is offered. –ESPN.

Two things about Cowher: First of all, he seems pretty content at CBS trading yuks with Dan Marino and pretending to offer analysis. Secondly, he looked pretty damn burned out after the Steelers finally won the Super Bowl. But now that his kid is done playing basketball and he’s had a few years to recharge, why wouldn’t he go back to work with a terrible small-market team that’s literally trying to flee the country? All I know is to never trust a man with a mustache. It’s like a third eyebrow that got lost on its way up to the top of the face.

schef_mort

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COACH/OWN THE BUFFALO BILLS?

Written by JOSH Z / 11.25.09

Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson, perhaps spurned by the dismissive indifference from Bill Cowher, seems hellbent on bringing in a coach with Super Bowl jewelry. Wilson’s newest target seems to be former Broncos coach Mike Shanahan.

The Bills, in fact, are scheduled to meet with Shanahan this week. And they fully understand, to even have that conversation, they must be prepared to pay more than the $7 million Shanahan is due to earn in each of the next two years as part of the balance of his guaranteed contract with the Denver Broncos, who fired him as their coach after the 2008 season.

“You’re probably talking about $50 million over five years and maybe even a piece of the team,” said a source close to Shanahan. “And by all indications, (Bills owner Ralph) Wilson is ready to have that conversation.” –NFL.com, via WGR 550

I hope Wilson plans on bringing back John Elway also. Shanahan seemed to be a much better quarterback coach with him under center. Just saying. But if Wilson moves the team to Toronto within 10 years, it could be a handsome investment for a coach. Plus it gives that guy a chance to own a piece of his success (presuming there’s any success to be had) in addition to a potential tax break.

Good move or not, it’s smart. Wilson knows that he won’t get first-tier talent without offering innovative compensation. It’s nice to see a small-market team actually making an effort for once.

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BILL COWHER IS GOING TO RELAX

Written by Matt / 01.05.07

Personally, I think it's good Bill Cowher resigned. I know he did top-flight work for a proud organization, but you can tell he didn't have that fire any more. I watched a handful of Steelers games this season, and at no time did I ever really feel he was about to assault the referee. It just wasn't the full Cowher experience.

And who can blame him? Dude was living in Pittsburgh for 15 years. I loved being a part of a kick-ass team, too (the Marine Corps, for those who don't know), but after three years in Twentynine Palms, unemployment looked better than more time in the desert. But Pittsburgh? 15 years? Yikes. At least the Mojave has pretty sunsets. And plenty of meth labs.

So, enjoy your time away from the Black and Gold, Mr. Cowher. As much as I detest the Steelers, I couldn't help but admire the Chin. 

As for the Steelers, good luck finding a new coach. I understand Art Shell and Dennis Green are available. 

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