Jeopardy owns.  Bill Belichick definitely gave off a super-pissed, I’m-gonna-kill-someone vibe when he left the field early during last year’s Super Bowl loss, which people either called “poor sportsmanship” or “to be expected from such a competitor,” depending on whom you were rooting for.  In an awesome turn of events, Alex Trebek & Co. refined that to call it a “hissy fit.”  And even though it wasn’t really a hissy fit at all, I like where Trebek’s head is at.  If something is a clue on Jeopardy, it becomes instant history.  And so it shall ever be: Bill Belichick is a little bitch who throws hissy fits.

[Jets Blog via Simon on Sports]

The Pats and Colts meet on Sunday Night in what is almost certainly Peter King’s “alone in the control room with no pants on” game of the week. And while you may think that the Colts’ 3-4 record and Tom Brady’s absence takes a bit of the air out of this matchup, I advise you check out these comments from Pats coach, noted devotee of the film “Sliver,” and hobo king Bill Belichick, tossing a little extra gasoline on the fiah! Noted by the Globe’s Mike Reiss:

…he stopped mid-sentence and said: “Going back to Manning for a second, if I’m not mistaken he hasn’t been on the injury report all year, other than maybe one day right at the beginning of the season. I’m not really sure what injuries you’re talking about. He hasn’t been listed on the report all year, so I’m assuming he’s not hurt.”

Using my trusty Belichick mumble translator, I have decoded that statement so that it reads more accurately.

See? The Colts also lie on their injury reports too! And if they aren’t lying, then Manning is just a huge pussy! Now let’s go bore a hole in a woman’s bathroom and see if we can spot some girl’s steel wool.”

You need a damn PhD in passive aggression to decipher that man, I tell you.

Bad MS Paint courtesy of Ape at KSK.

Tom Casale is a former writer for Patriots Football Weekly who recently left in order to blog for Pregame.com, a gambling website.  Posting as "Tommy Rider," he spilled his guts on the Pats organization.  Please note: guts may include a lot of shit.

–Tedy Bruschi is much more popular with the fans than he is with his teammates. He isn't the team leader people think he is. Actually, Bruschi rarely talks to any of his teammates… Bruschi is just an unlikable person in general and I think his teammates know what's what and get sick of his act. He created an image that he presents to the public but his teammates know better…

–Corey Dillon is about the most miserable piece of shit you would ever want to encounter.

To be fair, Casale also praises the organization and several players, but nothing comes close to this doozy: the notion of a Bill Belichick sex tape.

I heard from someone who is close to the case that there is a sex tape of Bill Belichick banging the married woman he had an affair with. I shit you not. The husband who is suing that woman for being unfaithful to him has a tape of his wife and Belichick screwing while the two of them were still married.

RAWR!  Hell yes Bill Belichick has tape of himself having sex.  How else is he supposed to study his tendencies and eliminate weaknesses?  He just has to be the best fucking coach ever. 

Note: I strongly recommend reading the comments on Casale's post.  Judging by most people's reactions, he's one of the more vile, underhanded people to ever walk the earth.

led Boston past the Pistons 88-79 in Game 1.  I've looked for some other interesting aspect to the game, but that's pretty much it… In the draft lottery, the Bulls flipped a 1.7% chance of getting the top pick into… getting the top pick.  Listen people, Michael Jordan is not walking through that door.

MLB — Alex Rodriguez hit a home run in his return from the DL, but it wasn't enough to staunch the first-inning seven-run hemorrhage that Mike Mussina allowed as the Orioles cruised to a 12-2 victory.  The Yankees have now lost four in a row and six of seven.  Tee-hee! … John Lackey returned to the Angels' rotation and threw seven innings of one-run ball to get his first win since last September, a 3-1 decision over the Blue Jays… Pinch-hitter extraordinaire Greg Dobbs came through with a bloop RBI single in the ninth to help the Phillies edge the Nats 1-0.  Cole Hamels struck out 11 over seven innings in the no-decision… Jorge Campillo and Tom Glavine pitched gems as the Braves swept the Mets in a doubleheader.  Really?  Two games of baseball in a single day?  Just thinking about it makes me tired.

So, here's a story that's not very interesting but is still making the rounds because a lot of sports fans hate the Patriots and also hate gays, or they are gay and like the Patriots, or they aren't necessarily homophobic but still call things like the Patriots "gay." 

Anyway, a photo of Bill Belichick was placed on the cover of Boston Spirit magazine, and it was somehow relevant because the mag had a discussion about the possibility of an athlete coming out of the closet.  I'll let MJD explain:

In fact, the article inside, about whether or not the city of Boston is ready to accept a gay athlete, has little to do with Belichick at all. They put Belichick on the cover, because, according to publisher David Zimmerman, "He is currently the most recognizable coach in the New England area."

Right, got it.  Out: rainbows, pink triangles.  In: recognizable coaches.  And if a recognizable coach comes out, then coaches are even more in!  I think.  I'm not really in step with gay culture.  Although Jersey Boys?  Simply FABULOUS!

We're well into Day Five of Patriots Imperfection, and the haterade is still flowing freely.  KSK has taken a shot at the protest petition by Pats fans of the final 1:40 of the Super Bowl, and SportsPickle's excellent take on the New England loss claims it was merely the most diabolical Belichick plan yet.

And this video is just kinda awesome because the guy does a solid Belichick impression, and I like the idea of Mutter McPursylips losing his mind at a press conference. (Fun fact: the actor is Whit Hertford, and you may remember him from Jurassic Park as the whiny kid who looks at the velociraptor skeleton and says, "That's not very scary. More like a six-foot turkey."  Now try to imagine Belichick saying that line.  Awesome, right?)