I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was 12. A few weeks later I hit the curb wrong, flipped over my handlebars and landed in a ditch full of rocks. ‘Andrew Dickey – Black Bike Vol. 1′ is the exact opposite of that.

Parkour is cool, but only when you’re a fleeing thief being chased by a karate action star or someone buff enough to shoulderblock through freestanding walls. Bicycle parkour, courtesy of our friends at Buzzfeed, amps that coolness up significantly by having someone do parkour with a wonky metal frame pressed against their crotch. Somehow it’s not just a bunch of clips of people falling and hurting themselves, and is instead one of the most impressive four minutes of non-Japanese game show bike athleticism and dexterity ever captured on film. I mean, unless you know somebody else who can climb a building on a bike. I can’t even navigate the rock ditch without almost killing myself.

My only disappointment is that when he biked up onto the Storage King delivery truck (pictured), a little fat guy with a crown and a staff didn’t rush out from the building and chase him away.

[h/t and total agreement in headline to Matt Ufford]

Missy Giove was a world-class downhill bike racer, before she retired in 2003. Sadly, life after retirement just hit a bit of a snag, as she was just busted by the DEA for possessing almost 400 pounds of weed. From the monolith (thanks, OC)

U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration officials said Wednesday that the 37-year-old Giove, of Chesapeake, Va., and 30-year-old Eric Canori of Wilton were charged Tuesday with conspiring to possess and distribute more than 100 kilograms of marijuana.[...]

DEA spokeswoman Erin Mulvey said authorities learned of Giove and Canori’s plans last weekend when Illinois State Police pulled over a woman driving a truck and trailer loaded with about 220 pounds of marijuana. Authorities completed the delivery to the Albany area, where Mulvey said Giove picked up the vehicle and trailer.[...]

Giove was later arrested at nearby Saratoga Lake, authorities said. A search of Canori’s home turned up more than 150 pounds of pot and more than $1 million in cash stashed in a closet and the basement, the DEA said.

This clearly shows that the Obama administration isn’t helping out entrepreneurs like he promised. Seriously, I have a hard time imagining 370 pounds of anything. But seriously, who keeps a million dollars in cash in a closet. You’d have to be high to do something like that. Yeah, that joke sucks, but I’m really behind right now. Read the rest of this entry »

So, the notion of doing parkour on a bicycle is entirely laughable and warrants more Mountain Dew jokes than I can possibly conjure.  But in all honesty, there’s no getting around the fact that this video of street rider Danny MacAskill [Ed. Note: hee hee! "mick ass kill"] is undeniably incredible.  Like, I’m actually disappointed that I don’t have anything negative to say about this.  It’s just a whole bunch of eye-popping tricks that you’d never think would be possible on a bicycle.  And it’s not even set to rap metal.  You win this round, MacAskill!

|kottke.org|