Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a sh*t about the rules? Mark it zero!

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Links

The 10 Things We Learned From The 2012 NBA All-Star Game - 1 Thing We Learned From The Slam Dunk Contest: the only dunk that exists is “jumping over things”. [Smoking Section]

Liverpool Fan Pokes Himself In The Eye, Continues Cheering - Been there, done that. I’ve also cheered through accidentally getting punched in the balls, but that might just’ve been Cleveland. [High Definite]

Vick Ballard Runs, He Slides … - Now we need footage of Andrew Luck playing ‘Rattle Me Bones’. Alternate joke: RG3 is great at ‘Shark Attack’. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

20 Hilarious/Useful “Walking Dead” GIFs - I was hoping this’d be nothing but gifs of people talking. pGamma Squad]

The Best Of Danny DeVito’s #Frank Reynolds - I’ll never say “trash” the same way again. [UPROXX]

Photos from the ‘The Adventures of Pete and Pete’ Reunion - Toby Huss is one of the 10 people in the world I’d most like to meet. Also, holy sh*t this is basically the greatest thing. [Warming Glow]

Must Watch: Jean Dujardin’s French surfer rap - Forget Jean Dujardin, let’s find video of everything Bérénice Bejo has ever done. And Uggie, minus all the Frasier. [Film Drunk]

So This Happened: Bryan Cranston Wore Breaking Bad Chuck Taylors To An Awards Show - Stay off of my turf in those shoes.. [UPROXX]

With any luck, Jim Rash’s Oscar win will be great news for Community - And with any luck, Alison Brie will take over for Amanda Seyfried and win an Oscar for being constantly nude as Linda Lovelace. Perfect world, blah blah. [FARK]

10 Awesome Animals Walking On Two Legs - So what? I walk on two legs all the time. [The FW]

The Best Interview About a Sex Shop Fire You’ll Ever See - I just picture Pee-wee Herman running out of the store with a bunch of dildos in his hands and collapsing. [Brobible]

Eight Disturbing Music Videos You May Have Missed - I’m pretty unhappy to live in a world where people haven’t seen Aphex Twin videos. That’s sorta my WHATTA YA MEAN YA NEVER HEARD’A MAYPO moment. [Unreality]

Sports

John Wall Claims Another Set of Ankles - Watch the world’s worst pitcher playing a sport he’s good at. Whenever I read headlines like this I think of Fallout 3, and picture John Wall murdering somebody with The Terrible Shotgun before searching them and taking their ankles. I, uh, am probably running the wrong blog. [Smoking Section]

Your Favorite Wrestlers: Brandon Stroud - The Wrestling Blog’s TH posted his 25 favorite wrestlers ever, so I had to contribute my esoteric, elitist top 5. Click through for a guy dressed as a zoo animal, a skinny fat guy with a platinum mullet from 25 years ago and VADER. [The Wrestling Blog]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Fleer’s ‘Emotion’ Set, The Gas Station Cologne Of Baseball Cards - I’m pretty sad remembering things like this. Fleer’s ‘Emotion’ is like the polybagged, gatefold cover of the 90s baseball card world. Disclaimer: Don’t listen to anything Bois says about Cal Ripken, he’s a Braves fan and thinks that “class” stuff about literally every pitcher or utility infielder they’ve ever had. [SBN]

Just Your Basic Amateur MMA Fight Breaking Out at a Russian Dolphin Pool - I could only think of two things while watching this: “be careful, you’re going to hurt a dolphin” and “why don’t you stand slightly farther away from the pool”. It’s weird to see a fight video with zero fat people present. [Film Drunk]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 8/1 - You can tell these are starting to get popular because the casual crowd is coming around, and I’m starting to get comments from casual readers who skim. Pretty soon the comments are just going to be disconnected recaps from people who didn’t read at all and Internet PR chumps shilling their websites. [With Leather]

The NBA Is Totally Screwed - Man, I’m glad nothing like this could ever happen in baseball. [With Leather]

Kate Upton Is Now My PCs Wallpaper - She’s the one thing I know for sure won’t give me a virus. If you needed incentive to click this in, people have started pointing out nipple slips in the video. And at one point the cow turns to the camera and says “eh, it’s a livin’!” [With Leather]

Craig Counsell Is the Worst - For some reason, the Brewers brought in 58-year old Counsell to pinch run in the 11th inning. His box score reads 0-0, which is philosophically an improvement. [With Leather]

Not Sports

17 Fascinating Facts About Jack Kirby, King of Comics - Here’s the only fact you need to know: Jack Kirby’s job was to create giant monsters with rectangle faces and make them monologue to entire teams of guys with names like “Starfinder”. He is the coolest guy in our national history, and you should love him as much as anyone else. [Gamma Squad]

Shark Week: The Drinking Game - I hope this involves that razor commercial where guys try to shave without cutting themselves in a shark cage. I guess for that you can just drink whenever you think “who cares what razor I’d choose, why am I shaving in a shark cage”, which is constantly. [Warming Glow]

Meme Watch: Sad Hipster Is Sad - As a vegan, I’m pretty happy “hipster” is replacing “hippie” as the catch-all word for people we don’t know but want to insult. And just like hippie girls, hipster girls are awesome. [UPROXX]

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, and Julianne Moore to Reunite for this Year’s Lebowski Fest - I wish this kind of thing happened more often. I want to go to a convention center where the cast of The Wizard is waiting to take pictures with me. I want to read the headline “Cook, Dawson, Reid Reunite For Josie And The Pussycats Fest”. [FARK]

Austrian soccer fans who want to be known for their obsessive behavior even after their demise now have a way to do so:

Vienna's leading funeral company, steeped in tradition, is moving with the times: the bereaved can have their loved one back in a cremation urn in the shape of a football. The black and white urn joins more conservative containers in sombre and art-deco designs in the range offered by Bestattung Wien just as Austria prepares to co-host the Euro 2008 soccer championship . . . No one has yet ordered the 362 euro (281.57 pounds) urn, which has been available for two weeks.

362 euro is about $560. Don't they have any Ralph's in Vienna? -KD