As a resident of Austin, TX, I don’t like to throw shade at hipsters. I think hipsters are great. Without hipsters we wouldn’t have so many niche coffee shops, high-end thrift stores, festivals with taco cannons or vegan food trucks. I think “hipster” gets thrown around too liberally, and is a catch-all for squares. Don’t like how somebody looks? Are they different from you? HIPSTER. GET HIM.

That said, I have prepared a dark world of shade to throw at CAT BIKE GUY, the Philadelphia resident with a GoPro camera and a desire to be a living, breathing ‘Portlandia’ joke. Here’s the quick checklist:

1. Ironic mustache
2. Pabst Blue Ribbon sticker on his helmet (no, seriously)
3. rides his bike everywhere
4. makes his housecat sit on his shoulders while he rides his bike everywhere so he can be the Cat Bike Guy
5. quirky soundtrack accompanying him at all times

All he needs is a really tall bike and some clunky glasses without lenses and he’s hipstered as hard as he can. That poor cat. When Cat Bike Guy stops, the cat should just leap for it and bail.

[via Reddit]

I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was 12. A few weeks later I hit the curb wrong, flipped over my handlebars and landed in a ditch full of rocks. ‘Andrew Dickey – Black Bike Vol. 1′ is the exact opposite of that.

Parkour is cool, but only when you’re a fleeing thief being chased by a karate action star or someone buff enough to shoulderblock through freestanding walls. Bicycle parkour, courtesy of our friends at Buzzfeed, amps that coolness up significantly by having someone do parkour with a wonky metal frame pressed against their crotch. Somehow it’s not just a bunch of clips of people falling and hurting themselves, and is instead one of the most impressive four minutes of non-Japanese game show bike athleticism and dexterity ever captured on film. I mean, unless you know somebody else who can climb a building on a bike. I can’t even navigate the rock ditch without almost killing myself.

My only disappointment is that when he biked up onto the Storage King delivery truck (pictured), a little fat guy with a crown and a staff didn’t rush out from the building and chase him away.

[h/t and total agreement in headline to Matt Ufford]

I had no idea that small dogs could do anything besides serve as accessories for dudes in skinny jeans, but these pups are something special. I love whoever trained these dogs. I could just imagine that person finally managing to get a dog to ride a bike and then saying, “No, this isn’t good enough! You know what would really compliment the dog riding the bicycle? Five or six little dogs behind him in a conga line! Perfect.” And those dogs are GAME, too. Look at that little one fighting his way in there. That is HIS SPOT, and nobody’s taking that away from him, except for the occasional misfiring druglord. Read the rest of this entry »

This isn’t exactly run-of-the-mill bike stunt failure. This is something truly much more precious. So dude puts on some eyeliner and then decides to ramp it up for a few tricks. Okay, fine. So he takes a pretty mean faceplant on the pavement, BUT LOOK AT THE GUY THAT JUST KEEPS ON EATING HIS LUNCH. No reaction whatsoever. Holy crap, I have to get one of those sandwiches. If that can hold his attention through a three-star faceplant, they must be pretty amazing.

It’s a little more nuanced that some of our other tooth-wrecking fare, but this is really a human story. Check it out after the jump and let the narrative wash over you. Read the rest of this entry »

I always wondered about this: if I got hit in the face and the nuts at the same time, which would hurt worse? I mean, getting hit in the face is always crazy scary, but could it possibly hurt worse than violent unpleasantness toward your two best friends? I wish I could have talked to this guy after this crash, but honestly, he should have disclosed his findings at the end of this video. I thought he was making this video for medical research. Some scientific method he has. This is why Asia is lapping us in everything, people. Read the rest of this entry »

This is the Honda U3-X, another individual motorized ass basket for people that can’t be bothered with walking from place to place. It made the auto show press circuit in September, so everyone has already made the “unicycle that had sex with a Segway” joke. As if anything would ever have sex with a unicycle. Maybe an accordian… Anyway, the unit offers one hour of hassle-free riding and easy carrying when…I guess when you run into stairs or something. They haven’t hit the market yet, so you’re stuck walking around like an idiot for the next several months. Loser.

Web Ecoist. More fun from Japan.