did I do that

This week, With Leather’s semi-weekly look at the best sports moments from not-sports television shows goes back to its 80s roots to chronicle the jet pack rope climbs, Bushwhacker tag team matches and Grandmama slam dunks of ABC’s TGIF founding father ‘Family Matters.’ You may remember it best as “that show Urkel was on.” Consider it a spiritual sequel to our Full House list.

If you watched the show, you’ll remember these moments. If you didn’t, you should find enough insurmountable 80s/90s cheese in Reginald VelJohnson ALONE to satiate you. So sit back, relax, and repeatedly click the “next” button for the 20 greatest sports moments of ‘Family Matters.’ No sweat, my pet!

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Punk was at -100 before he decided to desecrate the Undertaker's urn. Or, uh, whatever.

You guys know I love pro wrestling right? Yeah, pro wrestling’s not real. It’s not a sport. It’s a television show. Performance art, whatever. I’m not revealing some grand carnival scam when I note that people get together and decide who should win which match and how it should all go down before the fights happen, because they want it to be entertaining or accomplish some weird purpose or sell a specific guy’s t-shirts. You get that, right? Sports elements, competition elements, sports presentation, but not a sport.

If you read that and still want to bet on WrestleMania, the biggest show of the year for people who are not really trying to amateur wrestling pin each other, you have a gambling problem. But hey, it’s not my job to come down on you about your hang-ups … if you think CM Punk being +700 against the Undertaker is a steal, by all means, lay your money down.

Here are the betting odds for WrestleMania 29, courtesy of Bovada:

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As the NFL approaches its first year without a salary cap since 1993, the concept of parity between its 32 teams seems to be disappearing as well. And lopsided games like the 6 blowouts on yesterday’s slate are making life difficult for the Las Vegas sportsbooks, which is good news for…everyone that’s not working at a sportsbook.

The Buccaneers, Rams and Browns are a combined 1-20 straight up and 6-15 against the spread this season…Not to mention the Chiefs and Raiders, a combined 3-11 straight up and 5-9 against the spread.[..]

”When you give a team 14 points at home or 15 points at a neutral site, you think you’re doing the right thing,” [Las Vegas Hilton sports book director Jay] Kornegay said. ”In the past, you would hardly ever see a team getting 14 points at home. But some of these teams are so terrible, you might see it on a weekly basis. It creates a bad situation for the sports books when the bad teams don’t cover, because liability adds up real fast. –Las Vegas Review-Journal.

Kornegay said that sportsbooks will need to “aggressively adjust” lines for games involving bad teams. This is horrible. We can’t let these poor sportsbooks keep losing money. Is it too late to get Vegas in on the next bailout package. With all the wagers being placed in those expensive hotels and restaurants, it’s a wonder that city has managed to survive as long as it has…

Gisele allegedly said she would run naked through midtown Manhattan if the Giants beat her boyfriend's Patriots in the Super Bowl, but now she's…so hold on, like naked naked? She could wear running shoes, right? I mean, there's like glass and shit in the street, and that concrete can be really bad for your knees…anyway, she's re-neging.

"It was a mistake and I'm sorry I said it. I don't know what I could have been thinking — Midtown Manhattan is a parking lot any time of day or night. It'd take 30 minutes just to make it from the Theater District to 34th Street. And what if I ran into the Naked Cowboy and had to pose for pictures with every out-of-town Tom, Dick and Harry? Tack on another 30 minutes, easily. How 'bout I simply flashed my breasts from a billboard in Times Square and call it a day … will that work?"

Listen, lady, everybody pays. We'd hate to send Big Louie over to bust your kneecaps. Those sexy, sensual kneecaps. It's probably for the best. If people are urinating in the streets of New York City now, what would they do when a naked Gisele ran by? Probably whip it out and start beating off right then and there. No, sorry, that was a rhetorical question.

-  Monday Morning Punter

[GirlsGoneSports via Egotastic]

Jordin Sparks sang the national anthem last night before the Super Bowl. She's 18. Her dad actually played for the Giants back in the day. She won American Idol. She loves football. She hates abortion. I don't know how she feels about anal, but from the looks of her, I'd guess it falls somewhere between "pilates" and "skipping lunch."

Sparks was actually one of the stars that seemed to align to help make this upset happen, along with Belichick's new hoodie, the Giants again wearing white, Gisele pulling a Jessica Simpson and showing up at the game, Troy Aikman wearing his lucky NFC thong…what am I forgetting? I maintain that it was three-plus hours of great football, and the Giants deserve credit for the win more than New England should be cited for a choke job.

Anyway, here are some other obscure prop results from last night's Super Bowl:

Coin Toss: Giants P Jeff Feagles called "tails." It was tails. 

First Touchdown: New England (Laurence Maroney, 1 yard rush, 14:57 left in the 2nd quarter).

Tom Petty's Set, in order: "American Girl," "I Won't Back Down," "Free Fallin'" and "Runnin' Down a Dream."

- Monday Morning Punter