As most of our half-drunk, all-miserable middle school social studies teachers taught us, Australia was destined for coolness from the very first day that the British started shipping their criminals there. In fact, it’s pretty disappointing in retrospect that the American colonies couldn’t make Georgia cooler than it is, but we can’t change history. We can only celebrate what it has given us.
In this case, Australia’s history has given us great things like kangaroos, boomerangs, giant beer cans, the first two Crocodile Dundee movies, and newspaper stories about koala bears in car crashes. This past weekend, though, Australia outdid itself, as 357 women of all ages (but mostly within our key pervert demographic) gathered to recapture the most important world record of all-time – the longest bikini parade.
Australia had previously broken the record a few years back but it was later captured by efforts in Las Vegas and most recently the Cayman Islands. But now this prestigious honor returns to where it belongs, in the Down Under with a hoard of attractive women. Alas, I would be lying if I said I did not want for other countries to continuously challenge this record for the sake of competition. And if they could do it every week around Tuesday, that would work perfectly for our traffic.
Enjoy the best of Australia’s newest and most important world record.