Hello Impact wrestlefriends! Another week, another good show! I know! I’m surprised too. A few things first:

- The Best and Worst of NXT is a thing that is happening, and it’s rad. Best: You reading all of the Bests and Worsts. Do that here!

- Also rad? Being Twitter bros. Follow me here, With Leather here, and UPROXX here. If you like sports comedy updates, Game of Thrones gifs, and cartoon representations of Evan Gelistico, these links are invaluable.

This week on Impact: Staggering highs! Crushing lows! And Joseph Park!

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Hello! My apologies for last week. If you follow me on anything other than With Leather, you’ll know that at the last minute I decided to get on a Megabus to Philadelphia for the Chikara iPPV on Sunday. In total (if you include getting to and from Toronto) I traveled roughly 30 hours. It was…a thing I most definitely did. But I’m back, still a little discombobulated, but nevertheless ready to dive into this report. A few pre-show notes:

- Sunday was wonderful and terrible and easily one of the most affecting experiences I’ve ever had. If you know anything about me, it’s that a) I love cats on treadmills, and b) I love Chikara even more. Over on the Mandible Claw, I wrote just how it makes me feel. Spoiler alert: I am currently the saddest little girl.

- I talked a bit about the show itself on Tom Holzerman’s “podcast,” if you will. You can listen to my gleeful exclamations over the Shard, our favourite matches of the night, and why you should continue to support independent wrestlers even if they no longer have a home company.

- Should you need a laugh, please check out this and this. The picture of Don West may be the single greatest thing posted to this site in the history of cats on treadmills, and is basically why Brandon and I are BFF forever.

- Didn’t know I was in Philly this weekend? Obviously you’re not following me on Twitter. You can do that here. You can also follow With Leather here, UPROXX here, but not the Shard because he doesn’t have one, and therefore I cannot skip the report to send tweets of cooing noises and hearts at him. ….that might actually be for the better, come to think of it.

This week on Impact: It’s not terrible, guys!

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Hello! I hear it’s a long weekend where most of you are. Why not take the next three days off to enjoy an Impact report? A few things:

- By the time you read this, the latest edition of that crazypants Chikara conspiracy theory podcast I do with Smiths-lovin’ vegan cool guy Robert Newsome will have been posted to The Mandible Claw. Dark things are coming, guys. And I don’t just mean our extended conversation about Supermarket Sweep.

- If there’s one thing I am good it, it’s making suggestions on how you should spend some of your money. Might I recommend donating to the Air Sex Documentary Kickstarter? Or how about a brand-spanking new Dasher Hatfield shirt? Chris Trew and Dasher Hatfield make me endlessly happy. Get into them!

- You can follow me on Twitter here, With Leather here, and UPROXX here. You can also like us on Facebook! You can tumbl this column! What a world we live in, guys. Sex with air and social media. Greatest generation, shmeatest shmeneration.

This week on Impact: Senility, yelling, more yelling, terrible wrestling, and the unintentional hilarity of an angry Samoa Joe. It’s…even worse than it sounds.

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photo credi: ImpactWrestling.com

Hello lovelies! It’s been too long. I’ve returned from the land of gross and incapacitating illnesses, and I brought a Best and Worst with me! T-shirts were sold out. Sorry.

A few things:

- The Mandible Claw was also on hiatus this week, given that the only things I could do were self-medicate and not move from the warm, comforting embrace of my couch. You should still check it out, though! It’s gonna be a good week next week, especially if you enjoy Chikara (you should), and me not sounding like Marianne Faithfull with post-nasal drip (you really should; it was weird).

- Everyone likes Chris Trew, yeah? And everyone likes fake sex with willing imaginary participants, yeah? Donate to the Air Sex Championship Documentary Kickstarter. Or don’t. But it’d be great if you did. Chris Trew is nice, and I want him to have nice things.

- I like Twitter. Twitter is easy. It’s also easy to follow me here. Follow With Leather, because Brandon and Burnsy are fun dudes, and UPROXX, because everyone loves Simon Pegg gifs.

This week on Impact: Joseph Park, more Joseph Park, and some other stuff I guess.

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Hello! It’s nice to see your faces! It’s been too long! We’re back, a little older, probably not much wiser, but definitely ready to assign positive and negative attributes to wrestling on television! First things first:

- It’s been a busy two weeks over at The Mandible Claw. Podcastravaganza is ready to take over your earholes and fill your brainstuffs with delight! Guests include Leva Bates, and Beyond Wrestling/WSU’s Drew Cordeiro. Brandon joined me to talk about the pitfalls of leisure time at Lucha Libre shows, teenage crushes, and the importance of Halloween costume accuracy. The week kicked off with Robert Newsome of the Atomic Elbow sharing more crazy Chikara theories as we descend deeper into the rabbit hole, and also potentially complete and utter madness.

- I dug into the mess of unopened discount wrestling DVDs that live on my shelf to review WWE’s One Night Stand: Extreme Rules 2007. It involves wrestling reenactments, du-rags, and shark attacks OUT OF NOWHERE. Vintage Mandible Claw!

- I’ll be at the (maybe) two ROH shows in Toronto (Border Wars and (probably) the TV taping), so if you see me, say hello! I’ll be the one in the ACH shirt looking slightly uncomfortable when ACH or Veda aren’t around. Or, if you see a lady and think “hey, that girl looks like she shrunk Brandon’s wardrobe but increased his visible distaste for Kevin Steen,” yes, that is me.

- If you didn’t get enough podcasts at the Mandible Claw, I guested on Holzerman’s Wrestling Podcast: Tweetbag Edition. This one has dinosaurs! I also had a wicked fun time recording What a Maneuver: Monday Night Raw/Monday Nitro January 27th, 1997. I watched my very first full episode of WCW Nitro with hilarious and incredibly confusing results. Did you know that Eric Bischoff once thought it acceptable to wear a leather jacket with tearaways? Man, what a dick.

We should all be Twitter bros. Do that by following me here, With Leather here, and UPROXX here. It’s perfect should you need to keep on top of funny sports happenings, Alison Brie gifs, and my obsession with Kyle Starks live-tweeting Hemlock Grove.

This week on Impact: Chris Sabin’s knee, Chris Sabin’s ACL, Chris Sabin training, and Chris Sabin talking about stuff. Spoiler alert: Chris Sabin.

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Well hello there, lovely readers. I know there are a lot of crazy things happening right now, so I appreciate you stopping by. If you’re reading this it means you’re somewhere, safe and sound, and I’m ever so thankful for that. With everything going on, it’s pretty tough to act like a dumb wrestling show is important, least of all try to be funny about it, but I think we could all do with a bit of levity and I will try my very best. A few things before we dive into another episode:

- There are only 8 days left in the Meet Me There IndieGoGo drive. Trust me, this is something you’ll want to be a part of. If you like horror movies, Brandon, Jill Thompson, and making dreams reality, then pledge some money. It’s been scientifically proven that making a donation will make you a cool cat and a With Leather friend forever, so, you know, do it.

- This week at The Mandible Claw, Chris Sims and Leonard F. Chikarason guested on the podcast. If you like Chikara you will definitely want to listen to this one. It’s been scientifically proven that listening to the Mandible Claw podcast will make you the bee’s knees and a Danielle friend forever, so, you know, do that too.

- Thanks to the internet we can all be friends forever, so go ahead and follow me on Twitter here. Follow With Leather here, and UPROXX here, then we can all be the best of friends. Friendship means caring, and caring means sharing, so spread this around on Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, Reddit, Pinterest, Google+, Vine, Tout, Myspace, Livejournal, Deadjournal, and maybe that forum board you don’t tell people you’re still a part of in 2013. Don’t worry, we’re friends now. We’ll keep it between us.

This week on Impact: We’re still in Corpus Christi and AJ Styles still hasn’t showered, but Christy Hemme changed her dress so it must be a new episode. /creeper slow-pan to Impact report

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