"Haha, I'm the best."

New York Jets coach Rex Ryan thinks that this year’s team is the one that’s going to win it all. Sure, he felt good about last year’s team and the team before that, because he said those teams were going to win Super Bowls. But as much as we make fun of that feet-loving King Hippo clone, he’s supposed to dish hyperbole. And his latest plate is loaded with love for his QB, Mark Sanchez, whom Ryan says is an elite QB.

Despite putting up regular season numbers that rival Chad Henne, Sanchez is the Jets’ all-time postseason leader in wins (4) and he’s tied with Len Dawson, Jake Delhomme, Joe Flacco, and Roger Staubach for most postseason victories on the road. And as CBS Sports points out, only Sanchez and Ben Roethlisberger have taken their squads to the AFC championship game in their first two seasons as QB. Of course, Roethlisberger has a different record in those games, but Ryan doesn’t care about that.

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Now that the NFL is back in full swing, Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison has, as expected, increased his PR efforts in regard to his recent interview with Men’s Journal, a magazine that I once had in my bathroom because I received four free issues.

In the interview, Harrison called Goodell “stupid” and a “devil” among other things, regarding Harrison being fined more for his brutal hits last season than other hard-hitting defenders. And despite the fact that those words were printed in a magazine and all over the Internet, Harrison still expects us to believe that he didn’t mean them like that. Now he’s apologizing to Goodell, despite not actually talking to Goodell in person, and we should believe that he’s sorry, because why not? Oh I know why – because he’s full of sh*t.

“The interview that I did and the comments that I made about Roger Goodell were inappropriate, at the least,” Harrison said. “They were way out of line, and I was speaking out of anger and frustration at the time. Any comments that I made that offended anyone, I apologize.” (Via ESPN)

Hold on, I have Goodell’s response right here: *fart noise*

As for the comments he made about Ben Roethlisberger not being as good as Peyton Manning for what he’s paid, and Rashard Mendenhall being a fumble machine, those were taken out of context.

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According to Drew Brees, the NFL Lockout is almost over. According to Chad Ochocinco, it’s far from over. Either way, while the NFLPA* and team owners met into the late hours last night, James Harrison’s big mouth continues to be the top NFL news because that’s all we’ve got. Well, except for Hines Ward’s DUI, and he must be absolutely loving Harrison right now.

Harrison recently sat down for an interview with Paul Solotaroff of Men’s Journal, which I once read on an airplane, and he sounded off about everything from his hatred of Roger Goodell to his problems with his own teammates. And if you haven’t already read the article, Harrison really sounded off. Most notably, he called out Ben Roethlisberger for some mistakes in the Super Bowl and pointed out that he’s not Peyton Manning, he labeled Rashard Mendenhall as a “fumble machine”, he said that Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing is “juiced out of his mind”, and he called Roger Goodell many things, including (allegedly) a f*ggot. Harrison also defended his reputation, most notably as a thug, but… hey, did I mention that banner pic is the lead image from the article?

And with all of that on paper, published and available on magazine racks, Harrison claims he was misquoted and Solotaroff, the guy who says he has notebooks full of other quotes and hours of digital interviews, agrees.

“We talked about 11 o’clock yesterday morning,” Solotaroff said on Thursday. “Look, James is the guy who’s got to live with Ben for the next three years. . . . So as I told James, ‘Listen, whatever you’ve got to say to mend fences is perfectly fine with me.’” (Via Pro Football Talk)

That’s the quote that really should stop the story. Solotaroff is an admittedly big fan of Harrison, which moves this article from “insightful interview” to “sloppy knob polish” and renders it irrelevant, as far as journalistic integrity. Essentially, Solotaroff told Harrison that he can say whatever he wants and he’ll manipulate and fix it after the fact. As I learned in one of the few journalism classes I stayed awake during, that’s not kosher.

But what is relevant is that Harrison has a big mouth and he said a bunch of things that he can’t take back. Cushing has since said he would pray for Harrison, whatever that means, and it has been reported that Roethlisberger and Mendenhall will take Harrison at his word (translated: they’ll share some “What the f*ck”s in private). Goodell, though, is a different story. While he has his hands full trying to make sure that Harrison and the rest of the players have a job this season, I can’t imagine that he’s going to look to favorably upon a guy that he has never looked favorably upon.

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A few months back, I scoured the depths of Deviant Art and a few other sites to dig up some of the most beautiful athlete fan art that we’ve ever seen, but a few days ago I realized that I left out another great resource – Etsy. An online marketplace for independent artists, jewelers, and general retailers, Etsy is apparently also a haven for people who love to make unique sports merchandise and memorabilia. Some friends and I have a little game we like to play, as we try to find more obscure and interesting (read: borderline absurd) items to send each other as birthday gifts. After all, why celebrate your friend’s team for him when you can induce shame just as easily?

Etsy turned out to be a treasure trove of paintings, knick knacks and clothing, so I did my best to limit the catalog today. But I’m pretty sure with this little collection, including that fantastic painting above, you’ll get the general idea of what you’ll find if you ever pull on your cyber galoshes and wade through the Etsy waters.

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Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and former Milledgeville-area ladies’ man Ben Roethlisberger is revealing details of his engagement to Ashley Harlan. The couple is set to marry in July–a week before the Steelers open camp–amid heightened scrutiny from the media. I wonder why anyone in Pittsburgh would care about their quarterback’s engagement plans.

Among the highlights of Roethlisberger’s chat with Ed Bouchette: Ben is asking for donations to his foundation in lieu of wedding gifts, and that he and Harlan had dated “kind of on and off for five years.”

Ms. Harlan, a physician’s assistant who turns 27 in July, lives at home with her parents. Mr. Roethlisberger cited the couple’s religious faith and beliefs as the reasons for not living together until marriage. He also hopes she can continue to live her life out of the spotlight.

“I try to protect her as much as I can. People have gone to her parents’ house and have been doing some things,” Mr. Roethlisberger said of the media. “That bothers me a little bit because it’s what I do for a living, I have to deal with it, but her parents and her, that’s not what they have to do.”

–Pittsburgh P-G.

I wonder if he’ll have private security outside of his honeymoon suite to keep all of her friends at bay. I’m still amazed at how a guy like Ben can put on a new public facade and everyone beams, “Oh look how he’s changed.” Maybe he has, but this wasn’t personal growth achieved through striving for self-improvement. He got caught fooling around in a bar stall and it threatened his livelihood.

But yeah, religious beliefs now. Let’s see how that works out.

"Hooray, stemware!"

Update: We had a scheduling issue with this post yesterday, so in case you missed it, we’re bumping it to the top of the page. –JZ

Ben Roethlisberger may have turned 29 yesterday, but the bigger news is that his wedding is only 142 days away. And while we thought that Mr. Lack-of-Commitment would never find the right girl to hold tie him down, we were all proven wrong by Ashley Harlan, whose parents gave her a boy’s name, I might add. The couple will tie the knot in Pennsylvania on July 23, which means that your time to buy the happy couple a wedding gift is quickly running out.

So what exactly do you get for the man who takes whatever he wants has everything? Thankfully, the team of “journalists” at TMZ took time away from giving us in-depth coverage of Gaddafi’s threat to release Libya’s weapons cache to the masses to take on anyone who supports his removal to search retail web sites and dig up Big Ben’s wedding registry. What kinds of terrible things does this controversial NFL quarterback and alleged sexual deviant demand of his friends and family for his most blessed union?

Find out after the jump, and be warned that you’re about to become quite ill.

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