Good news for people looking for that special Olympic souvenir: There’s a block of about 5,000 condoms that were snatched up by a collector, who’s hoping to turn a profit with them at an upcoming auction. And just in time for Christmas.
100,000 condoms were distributed during the games, with this guy somehow ending up with 5% of them. His wildly optimistic plans for getting laid fell short, and now you can have these condoms for a mere 5,000 yuan ($730) minimum bid.
The auction, very tastefully named the “Exceptional Auction of China Sport Collection,” will take place November 29th. With each condom possibly going for just 14 cents, that’s a great value. –AFP, via Sports Rubbish.
Honestly, I hate condoms, and I think women do, too. If she really wanted to feel that level of rubberized protection, she can go out to the driveway and hump the tires on my Hyundai. They have extra treads, you know, for her pleasure. And also for superior handing in wet conditions. Same thing, really.
Logan Campbell competed in the Taekwando event in the Beijiing Olympics, but he’s spending his offseason recovering just like any other guy…aside from the fact that he’s opened up a brothel in his native country, which recently decriminalized prostitution.
His own costs leading up to Beijing totalled some NZ$150,000 (£58,000) [About $94K US --Ed.], much of it provided by his hard-working parents, Campbell noted.
To take the financial strain from his parents Campbell has gone into partnership with Hugo Philiips, a 20-year-old accountancy graduate, to set up what the pair insist is a “high-class” escort agency.
He hopes to take a couple of years off to work full-time on the new venture, before returning to training in 2011 with a NZ$300,000 Olympic kitty.
He said “kitty.” But Campbell insists that’s he’s not a pimp.
“Pimps are more tough-type guys. I’m an owner of an escort agency.”
Whatever, pimp. You just keep on pimpin’. The guy that beat Campbell went on to win the bronze, for whatever that’s worth. Hopefully Campbell’s mat technique will not have eroded from chops and kicks to backhand face slaps and varied utterances of “Bitch better have my money.” But if that’s where he works, where does he go to totally abuse some random woman? Olive Garden? Yeah, it’s late in the day. I got nothin’.
|via So Much For College|
This is Dara Torres, whom you’ll remember for swimming in the Beijing Olympics. And winning three silver medals. At the age of 41. And now, she’s talking about competing in the London Games in 2012. She’d be 45 by then, but it’s always good form to not inquire about a woman’s age; nothing kills a hardon like basic math, except maybe a massive forehead and veins protruding out of your hands. You know, if you’re not into that sort of thing.
When Bob Costas asked if she was ruling out 2012, Torres said, “I’ve learned to never say never. … I love competing. … I’m still improving, so why not keep going until I’ve hit my peak?”
Why not keep going until I’ve hit my peak? I tried this line in high school all the time and it never worked for me. But then, I wasn’t much of a swimmer. Those orange arm floaties aren’t really conducive to getting laid. So in that sense, they might have been the greatest birth control device ever.
[SbB]
Results from a recent online study released by the China Sexology Association ["We love you long time!" -- GEd.] indicate that the traditional, submissive attitudes of Chinese women may be evolving to better resemble those of their Western, round-eyed counterparts.
As high as 87 per cent of the women believe they have pleasure having sex, while only 6 per cent of the surveyed say they never reached orgasm. Thirty-three per cent say they will tell their partners if they want sex, and 53 per cent say they will give their partners a hint about their objective.
If they don't want to make love, but their partner request it [sic], half say they will choose to comply, while the other half will tactfully refuse or communicate well with their partners.
Other findings from that and an older University of China study from 1999-2000 include:
How fucking pissed are those short little Chinese dudes gonna be when all of us Americans go over there and start insta-pleasuring all of their women? This might be an Olympics worth jumping in front of a tank to attend. In fact, I'm picking up the red phone right now to call Ufford. Time for him to serve his country on another mission. — Monday Morning Punter
