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Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light Partied After Last Night’s Super Bowl Loss - I don’t know Gronk personally, but I assume “play football” and “party” are his only two speeds. This is how he expresses sadness. [Brobible]

M.I.A.’s Middle Finger: A Synthetic Scandal - Here’s an idea: if a “mere apology” isn’t enough to make the PTC happy, stop apologizing to the PTC. [Warming Glow]

Nicki Minaj Slowed Down = Jay-Z - The best part of the halftime show was watching Minaj bug her eyes out repeatedly and try so hard not to be the center of attention. [High Definite]

Eric Rosado Presents “Sh*t Knicks Fans Say” - I wanted to make a “Sh*t Indians Fans Say” so With Leather could get a little traffic, but “we didn’t sign anybody” and “Jason Kipnis is pretty good!” don’t make an entertaining video. [Smoking Section]

Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl Comercial Contradicting His Political Beliefs? - What about that time he shot a guy with a gun in the old west? Would he shoot someone in real life? Has he ever even lived in the old west? [Moviefone]

Extended Version Of Avengers Super Bowl Trailer Is Here, Sort Of Reveals Who’s In Loki’s Army - I hope there’s a plot point explaining why they undid all the good of Captain America’s 1940s costume and gave him that Morphsuit looking number. [Gamma Squad]

The new Spider-Man looks like a giraffe, wears track shoes - And speaking of bad super hero looks, I hope Spidey can see the Lizard through those pools of urine on his face. [Film Drunk]

The Best Of #Step Brothers - I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home. [UPROXX]

Derpy Louisiana Congressman John Fleming Thinks The Onion Publishes Real News - This is Literally Unbelievable! I hope he never sees the story about the black neighborhood terrorized by an ask murderer. [UPROXX]

18 Jaw Dropping Photos Of Europe’s Deadly Winter - Click here for 23 jaw dropping photos from Bananarama’s Cruel Summer. [Buzzfeed]

SXSW Comedy Podcast Lineup Announced - Awesome, I can finally challenge the Sklar Brothers to a duel with swords. I don’t care, I’ll take them on at the same time, I bet they don’t even know how to use swords. [HuffPost Comedy]

15 of the World’s Weirdest Marriages, ‘I Now Pronounce You… What?!’ - I said “Chuck and Larry”. What, can you not hear me? [The FW]

Why Abed and Troy from Community are the Best Geeks on TV - The Big Bang Theory is the minstrel show of this generation. We need more shows about uncool people who actually exist. [Unreality]

Major League Baseball missed out on a marquee Justin Verlander/C.C. Sabathia pitching match-up in game one of the ALDS because of a botched weather forecast, then suffered through two rain delays in the fifth inning of Saturday night’s ALCS game one in Texas. Commissioner Bud Selig and team representatives went into discussions about Sunday night’s ominous forecast and, not taking into consideration that it has rained exactly one time in Texas since 1985 and that was Saturday, postponed the game about five hours before the first pitch.

Texas Rangers president Nolan Ryan, a guy who I’m sure has kept cattle from herding off a cliffside during a thunderstorm at least once in his life, explains the call:

“With the forecast that we had … we didn’t want to experience what we did last night; and with the forecast for this evening, it appears that it’s going to be duplication of what we saw last night,” Rangers president Nolan Ryan said. “I think the one thing we’re concerned about is the integrity of the game and not [putting] either team in a situation where possibly the elements could affect the outcome of the game.”

By the time the game had been scheduled to start, the weatherman was calling for a “mostly cloudy” night with a 10% chance of rain. No rain had fallen for three hours, and there was no rain in the area an hour later. The grounds crew left a sad, dry tarp on the diamond as the reality sank in — Major League Baseball had just postponed a playoff game because it might have rained. At no point did Justin Verlander speak up and explain that God was just trying to tell him to knock it off.

I’m sure there was a lot going on behind the scenes. I’m sure the MLB didn’t want to inconvenience FOX Primetime by making them play old episodes of This Week In Baseball or re-runs of The Fresh Prince like TBS does when it rains too much, and sure, when you’re playing a string of important games you don’t want your guys trudging through mud and soggy grass. At the same time, one of the enduring images of sports is warriors battling the elements, powering through snow and torrential rain to prove their might, and what does it say about modern day baseball when dark clouds make two entire teams and a league go “welp, pack it in, too dangerous”?

Anyway, take a look at a few shots from the non-event, and compare/contrast them to Hurricane Katrina pictures at your leisure.

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