"Seriously, guys... you've got me at here."

We all knew it was coming. After No. 1 LSU defeated No. 2 Alabama 9-6 on Nov. 5, anyone who has ever watched college football should have been able to see that we would be getting a National Championship rematch, so long as LSU won the SEC Championship. And seaux the Tigers did, whomping the No. 12 Georgia Bulldogs 42-10. I even got a kick out the ESPN scroll reading that LSU would “likely play in National Championship game.” Likely. Because Southern Miss’ win over Houston might have fried the computers.

So here we are, awaiting this rematch of the two SEC rivals. But wait a second… LSU wasn’t the only team that turned its opponent into the receiving end of a donkey show in a conference championship game. Oklahoma State spanked Oklahoma 44-10, so we were all like, “Well they should jump Alabama for No. 2, right?” Haha, you morons, of course not. OK St., despite finishing with a Big 12 championship and therefore a better record than Alabama, was still not good enough by the BCS computer’s standard to take the No. 2 spot. By a margin of .0086.

All right, everybody pick your side. Either you think that Alabama deserves a rematch with LSU because the Tide only lost by 3 points in such an amazing defensive game or you think that Oklahoma State is a conference champion and deserves to play for the title. Either you think that Alabama’s sole loss being to the No. 1 team in the country means more than OSU’s pathetic overtime loss to Iowa State or you think, So what, the Cowboys WON THEIR CONFERENCE. Draw your battle lines in the sand and prepare to argue via Facebook status updates and Twitter for the next month until LSU and Alabama play again.

For the record, I don’t think Alabama has any business playing in the BCS Title Game, but it’s not because the Tide didn’t win the SEC or anything like that. I just love seeing Alabama fans cry.

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It has been nearly two days since ESPN’s Brent Musburger blurted “This is for all the Tostitos” at the end of Monday night’s BCS title game, but I’m still pretty miffed about it, and I’d imagine most of you are as well. Musburger already has said that he wasn’t paid to do it, which really makes this even more unforgivable.

Mr. Musburger’s closing-seconds phrase immediately lit up the Internet. ESPN and Frito-Lay said they had nothing to do with the play-by-play man’s product mention, though a Frito-Lay rep told USA Today the company was “delighted.”

There was a predictable fury about Mr. Musburger’s word choice, accusations that he sullied the drama of a game by naming a sponsor that was in every advertisement, every official product, the logo at midfield…and the jersey of every player on the field.

–WSJ.

Yeah, they sponsored the game. Fine. Yes, we’ve had ads dropped into play-by-play before. Those are tolerable. But nobody has ever jammed an ad into the climactic point of a game. Between this and his stupid “Cinderella lives” comment after Boise State beat Virginia Tech to open the season, it’s time for him to go.

I don’t understand why ESPN feels like college football is best served by a 71-year-old man who embodies that senile great-grandparent whom we visit out of spite just because they have nobody else left but really needs to just die already. Um, I meant “get fired already.” No calls to violence here, you know, because if he actually did die then it would be totally my fault.

One controversial play came out of Auburn’s BCS championship win over Oregon last night, and it was that fourth quarter run from Auburn running back Stephen Dyer. Dyer’s roll-and-run over an Oregon defender looked eerily similar to that of Arkansas tight end D.J. Williams in last week’s Sugar Bowl.

In both instances, the runner appeared to be down while rolling over the top of the defender, but instead got up and kept running. You can see where Williams and Dyer each had his wrist touch the ground at one point during the run. The guys at Mocksession put together a great video for it, which we have for you after the jump.

Just wanted to point out that USA Today has an impressive interactive infographic involving the final Top 25 ballots filled out by those rascally big-time college football coaches. Sure, Auburn and Oregon will be meeting in the BCS Title Game, but how did everyone else’s teams shake out? Before you run off and play with it, here are a few fun notes on how the coaches voted.

• Five coaches had No. 4 Wisconsin ranked above No. 3 TCU. Both teams will meet in the Rose Bowl on January 1.
• Idaho’s Rob Akey actually had TCU ranked No. 1; he was the only coach to deviate from putting Oregon or Auburn in the top slot.
• Only four coaches–Stanford’s Jim Harbaugh, Arkansas’s Bobby Petrino, Boise State’s Chris Petersen and San Jose State’s Mike MacIntyre–had No. 15 Nevada ranked above No. 10 Boise State. Nevada beat Boise State, 34-31 (OT) in their reguar-season finale. Petersen had Nevada ranked 9th, one slot above his own team.
• Doug Marrone of Syracuse and Kevin Sumlin of Houston submitted ballots, each with his top 12 teams identically mirroring that of the final poll. No other coach came that close to parroting the entire Poll, slot-for-slot.

I would have voted, but I don’t coach college football and I’d probably just put the Citadel at No. 1 anyway. Oh, I know they’re I-AA, and I don’t care. What’s the point of giving ballots to 50 different people if they’re all going to vote the same way?

I really hate debating college football because every team out there plays in a vacuum; SEC teams play other SEC teams and Pac-10 teams play other teams in their league and so on down the pecking order. I also hate people that just sit around and bitch about the absence of a playoff. Yes, people are still homeless, the icecaps are still melting and college football still has no true postseason. Let’s move on.

I also hate the way people drive in the south. How hard is it for someone to pull out in the intersection when you’re sitting in the left turn lane? I HAVE PLACES TO BE, D:CKWEED. And why do people get so worked up over bottle service? Is that like a class thing? If I was set on putting down an entire bottle of booze, I would just stay at home. It’s cheaper. Plus it’s not as loud.

But yeah, LSU is ranked 5th right now, so I guess they’re pretty good.

There haven’t been many more head-scratching hirings in college football than that of Gene Chizik, and it wasn’t just because of the name, which is just one letter short of resembling a horrible draw in “Scrabble.” Chizik’s hiring at Auburn over fellow candidate Turner Gill–now the head football coach at Kansas–drew cries of racism. Oh, I should probably mention that Turner Gill was black. And, as far as I know, still is.

Anyway, while Gill is struggggling in his first season at Kansas, Chizik’s Auburn Tigers just came out of the BCS Weekly Sausage Factory** with the No. 1 ranking, and naturally, Coach is pissed about it.

[Chizik] knows he can’t control what they talk about when they’re outside the athletic department walls: “I can only control how we proceed in this building. We just had a team meeting and we talked about being very grounded and understanding that every week is a another new week and another opportunity. It probably sounds to them the same old sad song every Sunday. But that’s what we do. Hopefully they’ll continue to prepare — I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t — like they have every other week.”

Hey, don’t take this as “I told you so,” because I never told anybody so, and if I had, I wouldn’t have remembered. Chizik went to a better program in a more competitive conference. Hell, Kansas won the Orange Bowl three years ago and half their student body doesn’t even know they have a team.

**The BCS is a college football postseason system. It does not produce sausage or any other meats or foodstuffs for human consumption.