Thank Goodness, For A Second I Thought There Wouldn’t Be Any BCS Controversy

Written by Ashley Burns / 12.05.11

"Seriously, guys... you've got me at here."

We all knew it was coming. After No. 1 LSU defeated No. 2 Alabama 9-6 on Nov. 5, anyone who has ever watched college football should have been able to see that we would be getting a National Championship rematch, so long as LSU won the SEC Championship. And seaux the Tigers did, whomping the No. 12 Georgia Bulldogs 42-10. I even got a kick out the ESPN scroll reading that LSU would “likely play in National Championship game.” Likely. Because Southern Miss’ win over Houston might have fried the computers.

So here we are, awaiting this rematch of the two SEC rivals. But wait a second… LSU wasn’t the only team that turned its opponent into the receiving end of a donkey show in a conference championship game. Oklahoma State spanked Oklahoma 44-10, so we were all like, “Well they should jump Alabama for No. 2, right?” Haha, you morons, of course not. OK St., despite finishing with a Big 12 championship and therefore a better record than Alabama, was still not good enough by the BCS computer’s standard to take the No. 2 spot. By a margin of .0086.

All right, everybody pick your side. Either you think that Alabama deserves a rematch with LSU because the Tide only lost by 3 points in such an amazing defensive game or you think that Oklahoma State is a conference champion and deserves to play for the title. Either you think that Alabama’s sole loss being to the No. 1 team in the country means more than OSU’s pathetic overtime loss to Iowa State or you think, So what, the Cowboys WON THEIR CONFERENCE. Draw your battle lines in the sand and prepare to argue via Facebook status updates and Twitter for the next month until LSU and Alabama play again.

For the record, I don’t think Alabama has any business playing in the BCS Title Game, but it’s not because the Tide didn’t win the SEC or anything like that. I just love seeing Alabama fans cry.

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Does Michael Dyer Look Down To You?

Written by JOSH Z / 01.11.11

One controversial play came out of Auburn’s BCS championship win over Oregon last night, and it was that fourth quarter run from Auburn running back Stephen Dyer. Dyer’s roll-and-run over an Oregon defender looked eerily similar to that of Arkansas tight end D.J. Williams in last week’s Sugar Bowl.

In both instances, the runner appeared to be down while rolling over the top of the defender, but instead got up and kept running. You can see where Williams and Dyer each had his wrist touch the ground at one point during the run. The guys at Mocksession put together a great video for it, which we have for you after the jump.

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Will We See Another Shootout In The Desert?

Written by JOSH Z / 01.10.11

Oklahoma and Connecticut combined for 68 points in the Fiesta Bowl on New Year’s Day. Will we see another high-scoring game, despite the fact that neither team has played in over a month? Here’s what other people are saying…

Oregon has already blasted one top-five opponent this season. The Ducks defeated Stanford 52-31 at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Ore., on Oct. 2, rolling up 626 yards of offense and scoring 28 points in the second half. If you watched the No. 4 Cardinal demolish No. 13 Virginia Tech 40-12 in the Jan. 3 Discover Orange Bowl, you know the Ducks beat a really good team. –Mark Schlabach, ESPN.

The sham that is big-time college athletics was on full display this week in the Arizona desert, where the Oregon and Auburn faithful gathered by the thousands to dump millions into the state’s tourism economy on behalf of their alma maters. It was all set to conclude Monday night in a spectacle suspiciously reminiscent of a big game the NFL itself will be holding in just a few weeks.

…Here’s hoping Cecil Newton got his money. It’s only right, because everyone else gets theirs. –Tim Dahlberg/AP.

I assume that the point spread drop [to 72] for tonight’s BCS title game means that Vegas suspects Cecil Newton took Oregon and the points? –@TheCajunBoy

Strong Side: [Auburn quarterback Cam Newton is] still eligible to illegally play college football for five more years. Weak Side: Can run and pass but can’t lateral for sh:t. –Onion Sports Network.

I’m picking Oregon to win, because (a) they’re getting a point and a half, and (b) their offense is so unstoppable that Denzel and Chris Pine should be piggy-backing on LaMichael James. And then after tonight, college football will finally be over. I’ll just have to scream at the nearby university kids at the local bars just to stay in practice? They’ll love the attention, anyway.

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Oregon Fan Wants to Wifey Up

Written by Ryan Walsh / 01.06.11

When Auburn and Oregon meet for the BCS National Championship game Monday night, there will be more on the line than just college football’s ultimate prize. One male Oregon fan has decided that it would be funny to make an interesting wager with a lady supporter of the SEC champs. And where better to find willing, sexually liberated women than Craigslist?

Ryan Tharp is willing to bet that the Oregon Ducks will crush the Auburn Tigers in the BCS Championship game. He’s so sure of it, he posted an ad on Craigslist saying so.

In that ad, he says he’s looking for an Auburn fan who’s willing to join him in a post-game, short-term Las Vegas wedding.

“I, along with several buddies, will be celebrating the Duck victory in Vegas from Jan. 11 to 14. During that extravaganza, I plan on taking in the entire Vegas experience, including marrying a stranger,” he writes in the ad.

Herein lies the wager: The loser of the game must pay for the following day’s annulment. –KPTV

Maybe I’m just a grumpy Gus constantly yelling at kids to get off my lawn, but this is a really horrible idea. I can just see this dude and his buddies, trying to get laid, commenting how ‘money’ their Ed Hardy tees are. If you do happen to be interested, ladies, and I can’t understand how you wouldn’t be, the Criagslist post can be found here. I, meanwhile, have a lot of things to complain about and little time to do so.

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This Week In Charles Barkley

Written by JOSH Z / 12.20.10

NBA Hall-Of-Famer and current TNT analyst Charles Barkley has opinions on stuff, and even when he’s wrong, he’s a fascinating listen. Over the last seven days, Sir Charles sounded off on a host of issues, and we’ve collected a modest one-stop sampling of those opinions for your enjoyment.

Barkley on Washington Wizards rookie John Wall missing a game last week with tendinitis (it was later reported to be a bone bruise).

“John Wall, I love you, but you can’t miss games with tendinitis.”

On Brett Favre’s alleged sexting with a female New York Jets employee.

“My biggest problem with the whole Brett Favre thing is if you’re going to send a woman a picture of your junk, it should be huge. … That’s one of the Ten Commandments.”

On major-league pitcher Cliff Lee, who used to wear the same number Barkley wore with the Sixers, returning to Philadelphia.

“It’s great for the Philly fans,” Charles Barkley told us yesterday. “As a fan, I just think that you want a legitimate shot to win every year.

“The Phillies for the next three or five years are going to have a legitimate shot to win, and that’s awesome. I’d be honored if they Lee [and Roy Halladay both] wore 34. [Halladay currently wears No. 34 for the Phillies.]

On his alma mater, Auburn, reaching the BCS Title Game in college football, and Mark Cuban’s announcement to explore the possibility of a playoff.

I think Oregon and Auburn are the two best teams. But you look at Stanford, you look at TCU, there are a bunch of good teams out there. I just hate the BCS. It’s got the two good initials – the B.S. But I hate the BCS in general. And Mark, Mark’s a good dude. We need to do something to fix college football because like I said, it worked out great this year.

Vote in the ASYLUM Poll: Can Mark Cuban Establish A College Football Playoff?

I love Charles, he’s the chubby uncle I wish I had growing up. I hope he does run for governor of Alabama in 2014. It would be like Obama times a thousand. “Our governor’s black…Roll Tide.

Quotes 1 2 3 4.

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Hoo Boy, Oregon…

Written by JOSH Z / 12.15.10

The Oregon Ducks are planning to wear special uniforms for their national championship tilt against Auburn. And while those gentlemen living in the deep south have exercised some fashion nightmares in their days, this submission is enough to make Ryan Seacrest squeal like a little girl. In other words, normally.

No big surprises – they include muted metallic grays and blinding lime green highlights, including green socks.

The Oregonian talked to designer Todd Van Horne about the newest look. Apparently, head coach Chip Kelly also lists fashion consultant on his resume.

“We worked with (Kelly) and designed something that will actually look like blur on the field,” [designer Todd] Van Horne said.

–The Oregonian.

Not pictured: the neon jockstraps and incandescent LED lights in the helmets that change the color of the “O” depending on the player’s mood. I’ve had it with all of the Oregon uniforms. I don’t need to see every which way a school can polish a turd. Until they put actual wings and machine guns on there, I’m done. Yes, I think it’s time to see machine guns in college football. Mike Leach is totally cool with it.

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