The Redskins beat the Saints 40-32 on Sunday, and in NFL fan terms that means “the Redskins are going to have a great season and win the Superbowl”, so here’s the first of what I assume will be an absolute deluge of RG3 rap tributes. This one is from “Money M.I.C.” and features a burning Troy Aikman jersey. Because, you know, that’s timely. (via Outside The Boxscore)

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Links

The 10 Greatest Rapper/Athlete Pairings On ‘NFL Jams’ |UPROXX|

‘Community’ Will Parody ‘The Hunger Games’ In Its Season Premiere |Warming Glow|

This Week in Posters & Stills: Hobbits and Horror |Film Drunk|

Ryan Lochte Will Ruin, I Mean, Guest Star On ’30 Rock’ |With Leather|

News To Make You Feel Old: ‘Batman: The Animated Series’ Turns Twenty |Gamma Squad|

Peyton Manning’s Jersey Considered Gang-Related, Banned In Colorado School District |Smoking Section|

KSK Interview: Curt Menefee |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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In a world where Kris Humphries can get $24 million for being a basketball player people have heard of, it only makes sense that second overall selection in the NFL draft and living Powerade commercial Robert Griffin III would get paid. That happened this morning, as RG3 showed up in an Instagram signing his contract with the Washington Redskins.

From The Washington Post:

Griffin tweeted Wednesday morning, “Well people…. It’s Time to go to Work!!! off the unemployment line and oh yeah HTTR!!!!”

Under the terms of the sport’s rookie pay system, Griffin’s deal is for four years and contains a fifth-year option. It is expected to be worth about $21 million and to be fully guaranteed, with a signing bonus of $14 million.

14 million (with another 21 coming) is a pretty sweet deal for signing your name, and a completely appropriate next step in life for a guy talented and fortunate enough to turn even his incompletions into magic:

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One of my all-time favorite things to do is scour the depths of Etsy for random crap, because it’s just amazing how much awesomely ridiculous stuff people can create and sell on the Internet these days. But nothing gets my PayPal account pumping more than the sports gear that dedicated Etsy sellers have whipped up, and that’s why I want to devote this new weekly feature to finding my favorite Etsy sports merchandise, starting with that Tim Tebow pillar candle above.

Sure, I just pointed out that Tebow’s got a team of trademark-happy lawyers that are suing people for making things that don’t even mention the New York Jets backup QB’s name, but that’s not going to stop any of us from grabbing one of these $5 candles and letting the Jets fan upstairs know that we’re pushing for Tebow to get the other New York team a Super Bowl win.

After the jump, get in the gift-giving mood, because Etsy’s got every sport covered…

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Welcome back, everyone. I hope you enjoyed last night’s first installment of the NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 and our Dummy’s Guide to sounding somewhat intelligent in the company of people who watch more college basketball than you. I went 2-for-4 with my picks from last night, as Syracuse and Florida won their games and Cincinnati and Michigan State really took massive horse dumps in their respective matchups. But I also technically rode the fence on each game enough that I can say I was 4-for-4.

What can I say, I’m an expert.

We’re back at it tonight, and I know it’s a Friday and all, but I’ll still be live chatting the action up from the handy dandy portable intelligent telephone. I’ll be at the Orlando Magic game, per the usual, which will make it all more fun. Make your predictions, quips and witticisms in the comments and there will be free t-shirts and possibly other surprises to be given out.

Admit it, you’re excited.

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- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Heisman Winner Robert Griffin III Will Make The Leap To The League - Good for him. Hopefully the NFL of 2015 is only rookies, and they’re all exceeding expectations. [Smoking Section]

25 Of The Most Normal Photos Of Rappers Doing Normal Sh*t - I’ve always wanted a Golden Treasury of Ludacris on the toilet. “My poop is colorful – BALLOONS!” etc. [UPROXX]

We Have A Special Treat For You If You ‘Like’ Us On Facebook - An exclusive 5-Second Films film! If you like With Leather on Facebook all it gets you is the Kate Upton sex tape. What a rip-off! [UPROXX]

Jon Huntsman’s Super Cute Daughters Will Unite Us All - These girls ain’t got nothin’ on Meghan McCain. And trust me, as someone who grew up in the religious mecca of central Virginia, it’s no surprise to me that a super Republican has foxy daughters. [Warming Glow]

The 10 Cheesiest Movie Moments Of 2011 - It’s hard to say “hey, I disagree” at Film Drunk, but I still don’t agree with him about Moneyball. Literally every emotional moment in the history of movies is derivative of human emotion in some way and “manufactured”, unless we’re exclusively watching Errol Morris DVDs. Plus, Mark Shapiro looked exactly like Mark Shapiro, so come on. [Film Drunk]

Corporate Response To Star Wars Complaint Letter Is The Best Ever Corporate Response - I’m going to start sending in complaint letters to UPROXX every time we post something about Star Wars. [Gamma Squad]

The 30 Best Taco-Related Crimes Ever - #31, giving Shaq TNS (Taco Neck Syndrome) and ruining the prime of his NBA career. [Buzzfeed]

10 Movies You Had No Idea Were Turned Into TV Shows - Another excuse for me to link you to that Uncle Buck theme I shared a few months ago. It is easily the best TV credits theme of all time. [The FW]

Paul Rudd To *Literally* Guest Star On “Parks and Recreation” - Truefax: if Paul Rudd was ugly he wouldn’t have been in a single movie. [FARK]

20 Underappreciated Gems Currently Playing on Netflix Instant - Hulu has them beat: it has the Christmas movie where Bruce Vilanch is an emotional elf. [Pajiba]

This ‘Kate Upton Rocks the World’ Video Will Shatter Your Mind - It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, but you should watch it anyway. The success or failure of our website is directly related to how often Kate Upton does things. [Brobible]

The Summer Glau Comic-Con Pose GIF - This is why I can’t pay to meet celebrities at cons. They absolutely do not give a sh*t that I like them. [NextRound]

Heisman Trophy winner and Jay Pharaoh character Robert Griffin III showed up on ‘Late Show With David Letterman’ to read the “Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through Robert Griffin III’s Mind When He Won The Heisman Trophy” and hit almost every necessary comedic note — Tim Tebow loving Jesus, the Indianapolis Colts being terrible, Kim Kardashian being a gold digging succubus who already has way too much of her own gold and so on.

You can check out video of the appearance below. I found it on YouTube so you didn’t have to watch it on the 100 x 40 CBS video player, so watch it quickly.

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