This week, With Leather has featured a lot of embarrassing attempts at the ceremonial first pitch. Tiffany Hwang of the K-Pop group Girls’ Generation adorably shanked her throw, and just this morning Burnsy wrote up the copycat who pulled the same fail in front of the Stetson Hatters. He forgot the cat ears, though.

Sometimes, believe it or not, the ceremonial first pitch can be GREAT. Want proof? Look no further than Tom Willis, a man who was born without arms who threw out of the first pitch at Thursday’s Orioles game. He may be the inspirational story you’re looking for. He may also be the neighbor on ‘The Jeffersons.’

Here’s the clip of his epic first pitch, which you should show to any Korean pop stars or Stetson fans you know, in an effort to shame them.

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Having attended quite a few baseball games at Conrad Park in beautiful DeLand, Florida – where the man with the newest model El Camino is king – I can tell you with great certainty that Stetson Hatters fans take their baseball quite seriously. After all, baseball and (every once in a while) basketball are all that Stetson has had ever since its football program decided to take a dirt nap back in 1957. But with football poised to return this year, the baseball program might as well enjoy the popularity while it can.

And judging by this first pitch from Tuesday’s night’s game against Florida State, Stetson fans have already long forgotten about baseball and, more specifically, how to throw one. We’ve previously discussed the finer aspects of what I believe is the art of throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game, but the one thing that I will always impress upon those given the opportunity is to not act like a total douche caboose before you throw the pitch, unless you are absolutely confident that it’ll be a strike.

Because otherwise you’ll look like this goober and there’s no recovery from the bro shame that will be laid upon a man after this kind of performance. Shame this man, Stetson bros. Shame him good.

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This is C.C. She’s a year and a half old. She can recite the retired numbers for the New York Yankees.

Okay, so she has a little help, but f**k you, she’s not even two. I’m a grown-up with a sports blog and I can’t recite the Cleveland Indians retired numbers without facepalming for five minutes. YOU try remembering Mel Harder! Anyway, C.C. (who shares a name with a Yankee, and is very excited about that fact) is adorable, thinks her daddy is the team captain of the New York Yankees and does a pretty-okay job of spitting out “Mattingly.”

YouTube user KylePMore sums up the clip nicely:

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As an unapologetic stan for The Wonder Girls, I like to throw shade at Girls Generation whenever I can. Last year, I got my first opportunity to turn a sports comedy blog into a Korean teenager’s Tumblr when Jessica Jung wound up for a dramatic first pitch and got it about four inches before it hit dirt. I laughed and laughed, and took joy in the momentary failure of a rich pretty lady who probably didn’t give a shit.

Fast forward a year and history is repeating itself.

Tiffany Hwang of Girls’ Generation was tasked with throwing out the first pitch at Monday’s Los Angeles Dodgers/Arizona Diamondbacks game. She wore cat ears. She had a dramatic wind-up, just like Jessica Jung. She impressed the crowd by firing in a strike, and hahahaha no she didn’t. Here’s the clip:

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The World Series Champion San Francisco Giants are one of the hottest teams in all of baseball today, as they defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-3 yesterday to complete a three-game sweep of their rivals and reclaim a one-game lead over the Colorado Rockies in the National League West. But while people across America were donning sombreros, serapes and fake mustaches as they chugged overpriced Coronas and licked Sauza out of the navels of sweaty coeds, all in the name of a holiday that nobody really understands, the Giants and ESPN were reclaiming May 5 for America.

A gentleman named London Van Der Kamp took to a kayak in San Francisco’s famed McCovey Cove and he rowed from person to person, awarding free hot dogs to the fans in water. Judging by the photos, Van Der Kamp gave away a total of two hot dogs, maybe four if he was being generous, but it’s still the thought that counts.

It’s certainly better than the most recent giveaway at Marlins Park, which offered fans the chance to pay the stadium’s utility bills.

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I am currently writing about sports from a hotel room in Philadelphia. My girlfriend graduates from Penn State this morning, and I’m in town to mark this very special occasion in her life. The reason I’m mentioning that here is because of the weird thing going on where I leave Texas and important things happen. The last time I left Texas for a few days, the Boston Marathons got bombed and a plant blew up near Waco.

Sometimes, great things happen. For example, I leave Texas for JUST A MOMENT and Norman The Scooter Dog has shown up to throw out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers game and be a dog who rides around on a goddamn scooter all day. Motherf**ker.

Rangers Ballpark in Arlington will be filled with the sounds of cracking bats and barking dogs this evening, as the Texas Rangers hold their annual Bark in the Park event at the stadium.

People can dress their dogs in their best Rangers gear and strut it out on the field during a pre-game parade. The top five best-dressed pooches get a prize. (Registration has already closed for Bark in the Park, so if you haven’t registered, don’t just show up at the ballpark with your dog.)

This year, the event gets a little twist, as Norman, a multi-talented dog who stars in the Hallmark Channel series ‘Who Let the Dogs Out,’ will “throw” the ceremonial first pitch. (via Whatever)

If you aren’t as familiar with Norman as I am, yes, you read that correctly: Norman is a dog who rides scooters and shit, but he is also the star of a Hallmark Channel show named after the Baha Men. Who has the HALLMARK CHANNEL, anyway? That network should just be stillframes of greeting cards and puppet shows with Hummel figurines.

Deadspin has a clip of Norman scootering around the park, which is enough to make me angry at my absence, but I can’t wait to see him throw out the first pitch. I’ll update with video of that as soon as its available.

Until then, please enjoy this Friday-friendly assortment of Norman videos. You’re welcome.

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