For week three of the Guide To Recognizing series of unsolicited MiLB team mascot information we jump back across the continental United States to the Northwest League of Professional Baseball, a Short-Season A classification minor league. The league is a descendant of the old Western International League, with memorable teams such as the Victoria Athletics, the Lewiston Black Chinese Indians and the Oregon Trail Dysentery Havers. You don’t want to know about their mascot, trust me.

If you’ve read the rundown of the Pioneer and Appalachian Leagues, you won’t need my disclaimer about how I’m a normal person who just happens to think mascots are stupid and fun. But in the interest of filling up these introductory paragraphs, here goes: I am a lecherous creep, but I try to keep that separated from my love of baseball. Think of it like refusing to cheer for a WWE Diva. I love pro wrestling and I love strippers, but I don’t want to have to look at them at the same time, you know?

Please move right along and click through to read about what people in Washington are doing when you aren’t looking.

Read the rest of this entry »

With less than 40 games left in the regular season, the American League East continues to be the best in baseball, showcasing a neck-and-neck sprint to the finish between the New York Yankees and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, with the Bronx Bombers currently holding a 1-game lead atop the division. There are also the Boston Red Sox with their 71-54 record, which is unfortunately only good enough to put them 6.5 games back of first. And the Rays indicated that they aren’t going to give up much ground last week when they emphatically swept the AL West leaders, the Texas Rangers. And boy, was it an exciting series.

So exciting, in fact, that one Rays fan* passed out from multiple 16-ounce doses of pure, unadulterated electric Rays/Rangers baseball. And the Rays mascot… oh geez, I should know this, um… Snuffleupagus? Sure, why not. Snuffleupagus offered stadium personnel some assistance in making sure this fan hadn’t imbibed too much baseball pleasure. Oh mascots, you so crazy!

Video after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

When you’re a professional mascot known for a gigantic beer belly, it’s probably not a good idea to go around climbing on the thighs of old people. The Phillie Phanatic did just that at a Double-A Reading Phillies game and now he has a woman with two broken knees all up in his business, which kind of reminds me of my old ‘field hockey in gym class’ days.

The Philadelphia Phillies’ mascot, the Phillie Phanatic, stepped on a woman’s thighs while climbing through the stands at a Reading Phillies Minor League game, exacerbating her arthritis and necessitating knee replacements, the woman claims in Philadelphia state court. -Courthouse News Service

I’m just surprised that the Phanatic’s getting sued and it doesn’t have to do with the ATV he’s been shredding on for over a decade. He almost ran me over back in the Veterans Stadium days when he used to roar through around the bowl of the concourse between innings, but that’s probably because I was as tall as a safety cone, and who doesn’t like hitting one of those every once in awhile?

Unfortunately for the Phanatic, this lady’s probably just trying to take advantage of a lovable mascot who just wants to jump around and distract you from the Phillies’ pitiful excuse for a minor league system. I bet she’s been waiting around for the suitable culprit to blame her knee woes on so she can finally get that knee replacement surgery she’s been needing for the past 5 years on someone else’s dime. I would know, I’ve been trying to get someone to sit on my cat for years. Maybe I should invite the Phanatic over. Read the rest of this entry »