via TexasAnarchy.com

Links

ACW: Beyond Good & Evil 2011 - You really want to see Rachel Summerlyn dressed as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You really do. You also want to see her dressed as Cookie Monster, and both of those things happen here. Austin pro wrestling rules hard. [DirtyDirtySheets]

The Best Wrestling Features/Sites I Don’t Write For - Linking this 80% because of the Chickbusters picture, 15% because Tom Holzerman is a nice guy and 5% because my Raw column is the first one on the list. Cough. [The Wrestling Blog]

The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal For 10/31/11 - Another interpretation of Muppet Raw (in case you didn’t dig all the animated gifs) from a good man who may or may not have something to do with me going to Wrestlemania next year. [John Report]

Oh, So This Is Why Some People Hate Occupy Wall Street - It’s sad that sane, tolerant young people so rarely have a natural, charismatic spokesperson instead of having their opinions communicated by a lady in ironic Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. Oh well, my girlfriend and I have been doing the “like” and “dislike” fingers all day. [Warming Glow]

‘Community’s’ Remedial Chaos Theory Gets A Board Game - I’m glad they finally have an episode better than paintball. Also, disappointed that Tumblr hashtags don’t equate to ratings. [UPROXX]

21 Jump Street Has A Red Band Trailer - I wish they’d do red band-necessary remakes of everything. Like, somebody splice back in controversial cut footage from Josie and the Pussycats and make it the greatest teen-ish sex romp of all time. [Film Drunk]

LOLNFL: Week 8 - Tim Tebow, you’ve got to stop doing that prayer pose, it’s making it too easy for people to blaspheme. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Want A Murder Victim’s Batman Collection? - Sure, why not? Does he have A Death In The Family? [Gamma Squad]

Justin Bieber’s Ghost Writer Is Never Going To Hell - Of COURSE he wrote this. This is the guy who sang a song with the line “I should be chillin’ with my folks, I know” in it because he can’t write his own song about Christmas. He totally wrote this. [Smoking Section]

Jon Jones Agrees That Jon Jones Is The Michael Jordan Of MMA - If this leads to a movie where Jon Jones has to shootfight the Monstars, I’m all for it. That would probably be the best movie ever. [Cage Potato]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Pro-Visions Part 2, Or, What Sport Are You Even Playing? - Worth it for Tom Glavine playing hockey in what I can only assume is Heaven. Also, Tim Salmon, get it? [SB Nation]

KANA, Sara Del Rey, and my heart somewhere in the middle.

Links

The Wrestling Podcast: Brandon Stroud II - In my second TWP appearance I talk WWE walkout stats, compare Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s ACH to Childish Gambino, discuss how and why we hate Brian Wilson and talk up the importance of fat guys in pro graps. Also, I love those women in the header, and you can sorta tell. [The Wrestling Blog]

Childish Gambino – “All The Shine” - Speaking of, I am excited for “Camp”, and you don’t have to explain the French cinema references. [The Smoking Section]

Remedial Chaos Theory - Speaking of speaking of, last night’s episode of ‘Community’ was incredible, so if you missed it, watch it here. Six times. [NBC]

Surprise, Guy Fieri Is A Total Dick - In the least shocking news of the year, America’s Worst Food Person is anti-Semitic and scared of gay people. I guess the spiked blonde hair and the sunglasses and the bowling shirts and the chain wallets and the throwing up of horns weren’t good enough indicators. [Warming Glow]

Who Voltron’d It Better? - Voltron is one of those things I always hoped would still be available when I became a hot shot movie director. That doesn’t seem to be working out for me, but … uh, anybody on the UPROXX network secretly VP at Sony or something? [Gamma Squad]

The New Muppets Trailer Makes Me Happy - …even if they’ve got to add a bunch of farts to get 2011′s kids to see it. Puppet Dracula from Forgetting Sarah Marshall had better make a cameo in this somewhere. [Filmdrunk]

The 10 Finest Pop Culture Charts From Dan Meth’s Pop Culture Charts Series - That “Trilogy Meter” is so wrong I can’t even begin to explain it. Jurassic Park is only about as good as the original X-Men? Are you on drugs? [UPROXX]

Hot Potato Gallery: Model/Grappler Monique Minton - When I grow up, I want to be a “model/grapper”. [Cage Potato]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Fleer Pro-Visions - Yeah, not going to pretend I have any f**king idea what the hell is going on on these cards. [SBN]

Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Week/Jeff George Memorial least Of The Week: Week 5 - Easily the best photoshop ever added to the top of an UPROXX Network post. Everything that happens in the NFL should relate to Super Mario Kart in some way. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Sports

John Wall Claims Another Set of Ankles - Watch the world’s worst pitcher playing a sport he’s good at. Whenever I read headlines like this I think of Fallout 3, and picture John Wall murdering somebody with The Terrible Shotgun before searching them and taking their ankles. I, uh, am probably running the wrong blog. [Smoking Section]

Your Favorite Wrestlers: Brandon Stroud - The Wrestling Blog’s TH posted his 25 favorite wrestlers ever, so I had to contribute my esoteric, elitist top 5. Click through for a guy dressed as a zoo animal, a skinny fat guy with a platinum mullet from 25 years ago and VADER. [The Wrestling Blog]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Fleer’s ‘Emotion’ Set, The Gas Station Cologne Of Baseball Cards - I’m pretty sad remembering things like this. Fleer’s ‘Emotion’ is like the polybagged, gatefold cover of the 90s baseball card world. Disclaimer: Don’t listen to anything Bois says about Cal Ripken, he’s a Braves fan and thinks that “class” stuff about literally every pitcher or utility infielder they’ve ever had. [SBN]

Just Your Basic Amateur MMA Fight Breaking Out at a Russian Dolphin Pool - I could only think of two things while watching this: “be careful, you’re going to hurt a dolphin” and “why don’t you stand slightly farther away from the pool”. It’s weird to see a fight video with zero fat people present. [Film Drunk]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 8/1 - You can tell these are starting to get popular because the casual crowd is coming around, and I’m starting to get comments from casual readers who skim. Pretty soon the comments are just going to be disconnected recaps from people who didn’t read at all and Internet PR chumps shilling their websites. [With Leather]

The NBA Is Totally Screwed - Man, I’m glad nothing like this could ever happen in baseball. [With Leather]

Kate Upton Is Now My PCs Wallpaper - She’s the one thing I know for sure won’t give me a virus. If you needed incentive to click this in, people have started pointing out nipple slips in the video. And at one point the cow turns to the camera and says “eh, it’s a livin’!” [With Leather]

Craig Counsell Is the Worst - For some reason, the Brewers brought in 58-year old Counsell to pinch run in the 11th inning. His box score reads 0-0, which is philosophically an improvement. [With Leather]

Not Sports

17 Fascinating Facts About Jack Kirby, King of Comics - Here’s the only fact you need to know: Jack Kirby’s job was to create giant monsters with rectangle faces and make them monologue to entire teams of guys with names like “Starfinder”. He is the coolest guy in our national history, and you should love him as much as anyone else. [Gamma Squad]

Shark Week: The Drinking Game - I hope this involves that razor commercial where guys try to shave without cutting themselves in a shark cage. I guess for that you can just drink whenever you think “who cares what razor I’d choose, why am I shaving in a shark cage”, which is constantly. [Warming Glow]

Meme Watch: Sad Hipster Is Sad - As a vegan, I’m pretty happy “hipster” is replacing “hippie” as the catch-all word for people we don’t know but want to insult. And just like hippie girls, hipster girls are awesome. [UPROXX]

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, and Julianne Moore to Reunite for this Year’s Lebowski Fest - I wish this kind of thing happened more often. I want to go to a convention center where the cast of The Wizard is waiting to take pictures with me. I want to read the headline “Cook, Dawson, Reid Reunite For Josie And The Pussycats Fest”. [FARK]

Sports

Spider-Man Basketball Looks Spazzier Than Vampire Baseball - I’m not the first one to notice it, but it’s weird how much they want the next Spider-Man movie to look like Twilight. Wait a minute, Spider-Man 3 had Bryce Dallas Howard in it. Have they been doing this all along? Do I secretly like Twilight? Do I even realize it? [Film Drunk]

Ochocinco Says “F**k All Defensive Backs” - It’s true, that does seem like something Ochocinco would say. I take seriously all comments from a man who changed his name to numbers. [Smoking Section]

Cowboys Linebacker Keith Brooking Gets His Two Daughters Ready To Go For Six Flags - Sports news should be less “this guy got a DUI” and “this guy beat his wife” and more “this guy is going to take so many old timey photos it’s gonna be SICK”. I’m going back to Six Flags Fiesta Texas in a few weeks, remind me to get KSK to write up a report about it. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Ultra-Pro Cards, The Least Valuable Objects Ever Produced - What’s worth less, these baseball cards or that Marvel Knights comic about Ghost Rider and Johnny Blaze that my Dad wouldn’t let me take out of the polybag and read 15 years ago? [SBN]

With Leather

Punte Talks to Patrick Willis - In case you were unaware, With Leather is now a legitimate news organization, and we get to talk to athletes about things in real life. And by “in real life” I don’t mean saying “you are awesome” to some D-league guy and having them retweet it. [With Leather]

Jay Cutler and Chad Ochocinco and the Models of the Diesel Swimsuit Show - In about an hour I’m putting up a gallery of 40,000 Kate Upton pics (thanks, Burnsy), so spend the next sixty minutes looking at women who aren’t her. Two Ochocinco links this morning. I should go for eight and title it “Ocholinko”. [With Leather]

The Most Disgusting World Record You’ll See This Week - This is from last week, but you probably won’t see anything grosser this week either. Still gonna try to set the world’s record for “most food just thrown on the ground so nobody can eat it”. [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of Raw 7/11 - Because we are legitimate, here’s a thing about wrestling. Last night WWE put on what might be their best pay-per-view event ever (I’m not kidding), so read this and establish context before you read 10 pages of me swooning about it later. [With Leather]

Not Sports

It Was a Harry Potter Sort of Weekend - I don’t share in the Harry Potter enthusiasm, but it’s basically the only thing the non-sports world wants to talk about right now. The final film in the series opened and broke box office records by bringing in 600,000 billion dollars and bankrupting everything in the world, so now all we’ve got left to constitute “a world” is China and Harry Potter. Here is a picture of Emma Watson. [Uproxx]

Adult Swim’s Most Awkward Comic-Con Memories - My most awkward Wizard World Austin moment: trying to sneak past the cast of The Human Centipede without making eye contact. [Adult Swim]

The Bang Bus Guy Lives in a Van Full of Animals - I thought I needed to share this with people. What’s next? Are we gonna find out the MILF Hunter is a vagrant drifter? (actually, that would make a pretty good MILF Hunter storyline) (does MILF Hunter have storylines?) [Film Drunk]

A Gallery of When Pixar Comes to Life - Some of these are interesting, some are cute, some are terrifying. Pretty sure I don’t ever want to see that family dressed as The Incredibles again, and I’m the guy who just wrote like five sentences about the MILF Hunter. [Unreality]

In case you haven’t been reading With Leather very closely over the last week (and hey, it happens), we’ve been doing another fantasy baseball promotion with DraftStreet.com, mostly so I could avenge my 50th-something place finish in the first game. Well, thanks to David Price and my slavish devotion to the Cleveland Indians, I finished a whopping 134th overall. No, seriously. I could’ve selected players based on how handsome I think they are and finished better. I could’ve picked players whose names start with G. It wouldn’t have mattered.

Here are your top five finishers:

1. gperih – 76.2 points
2. JM80 – 65.45 points
3. Daern – 63.7 points
4. Bnelson2 – 63.5 points
5. Kid Kash & Dash – 62.55 points
134. bthompsonstroud -21.05 points

Humiliating. Funny enough, 134th is only two spots higher than the Indians finished last year. Here are some links. Blerg.

Sports

UFC 130 Gif Party - Since I only seem to cover fight sports where the people don’t really hit each other, here’s a bunch of gifs from UFC 130 courtesy of our friends at Cage Potato, and yeah, they are pretty much straight up hitting each other. I think one guy gets his face bashed in with a fire extinguisher. [Cage Potato]

This Epic Hurdle Fail Is Painful to Watch - I don’t think there’s a faster way to get someone to click a link than the words “epic hurdle fail.” Is there a non-epic type of hurdle fail? The saddest part of this video is that she was doing so well. I know what it’s like, lady, this happens to me every time I use the Power Pad. [BroBible]

Me, on Twitter - Last night I twote a Tweet about Basketball Wives. This is the kind of thing you should be following. [Twitter]

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Today I start trying to convince you to read about baseball cards. Look at poor Steve Carlton up there. It’s like he’s saying “come on, I’m only 43, don’t make me pitch for the 1987 Cleveland Indians! They have wood paneling!” They finished 40 games under .500 that year and finished 7th in the AL East, back when the division had six teams. Steve Carlton won the World Series, twice! All Cory Snyder ever won was that skills competition where you stand in the outfield and try to throw the ball at a big target.

I think ’87 Topps (and Topps Traded) baseball cards are more important to me than family photos. I mean, I can’t name more than 1% of my second cousins, but I can tell you everything Greg Swindell was doing in his picture (wearing a jacket, smirking).

Sports

Number 5 Type Collection - It’s pretty easy to get obsessed with baseball card blogs, especially when they deal from the entirety of the game before your birth. As much as I love sports history, most pre-1980s baseball records are just numbers or Roberto Clemente running around with Santana playing in the background. [Number 5 Type Collection]

1 in 12 Baseball and Football Fans Are Drunk When Leaving Games - If you’ve ever driven around in a parking lot after a game, you know this is true. Also, if you’ve ever stood up and turned around during a game, or gone to the bathroom during a game and looked in the mirror. TRIBE TIME WOOOOOOOOO [BroBible]

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