Here’s what made my day better today:

“Talkin Cards! w/ Bob Masters” – Vine by @nickspears | Nick Spears, aka: Bob Masters, talks baseball cards, basketball cards and more! We’re talkin’ cards!

The show, each episode presented in the form of a however-many-seconds vlog on Vine, delivers on both the talkin’ and the cards. It’s one of those things you’ll either roll your eyes at or love forever, and I hope you’ll choose the latter. After the jump is a YouTube compilation of the first seven episodes, so you don’t have to watch it in an autoplaying, auto-muting column (or whatever). Enjoy.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not much for the whole hyperbole thing, as I naturally like to keep my over-embellishment limited to Brittney Palmer being the greatest person ever in the history of history, but I do find myself using the “My favorite thing ever” tag on a pretty regular basis. Well, I’m here to put an end to that today, folks. Because on December 20, 2012 – one day before humanity is set to end, according to people who completely misinterpreted an ancient slab of rock – I have finally found my very absolute favorite thing ever, and it’s called Baseball Card Vandals.

As simple as it sounds, Baseball Card Vandals is simply a crude artistic endeavor by a few unknown souls, who I assume are baseball fans, but it doesn’t really matter. Because as long as I’ve been sitting on my collection of cards that are now worth as much as the cardboard box that I keep them in – thanks a lot, 18 Ken Griffey Jr. rookie cards and that Bo Jackson Classic card – I should have just been doodling on them with a black Sharpie like these guys, because the result is awesome.

Seriously, guys like Rick Rhoden and Dan Quisenberry should be elated that someone is doing anything with their old baseball cards. Especially something as fantastic as this.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re a regular reader of our Sports On TV column, it’d be possible to mistake me as a guy with great taste in television. I like to throw the “best show ever” tag around for ‘The Wire’ or season 2-8 of ‘The Simpsons’, giving me that learned balance necessary to be a true, objective authority on what people should watch.

Yeah, no. When I was 7, my favorite show was ‘ALF’. If you’re not familiar with ‘ALF’, it’s about an alien who lands on Earth in puppet form, lives in the laundry room of a suburban family and cracks wise with them so much you start wondering why they don’t just throw him in a garbage bag and drop him off on the front steps of the FBI. Oh, and he wouldn’t stop trying to eat their housecat.

Anyway, ALF’s home planet was a place called Melmac, and Melmac had its share of unique sports, including ‘Bouillaball’. I’ll let the surprisingly-in-existence ALF Wiki fill you in on the details.

Bouillabaseball was a sport played on Melmac which resembled baseball, but instead of throwing a ball, fish parts were thrown.

Bouillabaseball fans often collected trading cards, which were sold in a package with a stick of gum. The gum came in one of two flavors: Tabby or Persian.

At the height of ALF’s popularity, Topps put out two (two!) sets of bouillabaseball cards. I HAD THEM ALL. Now, thanks to the Internet (and the aforementioned ALF Wiki), you can have them, too. They’re a mix of the Garbage Pail Kids and stock photos of ALF. I don’t know. Here’s a gallery of every bouillabaseball card I could find, and I urge you to flip through and try to find every inappropriate joke or image you can. I’m pretty sure at least one of these players is supposed to be ejaculating.

Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s rock.

Each week, Sports On TV looks at the 20 (or so) greatest sports-related moments from television shows that aren’t always about sports. This week we tackle the low-brow 1987-97 FOX classic ‘Married… With Children’, and honestly, it’s the closest we’ve come to saying f**k it and just writing about sports shows. MWC featured more sports moments and guest appearances than almost any other sitcom, and even featured a sports moments clip-show in the middle of its 10th season. Instead of just finding that on YouTube and posting it here, we’ve put together our own list.

The entire run of ‘Married…’ is currently streaming on Netflix, so if you read about Al Bundy punching a heavyset lady in the stomach or beating a bunch of old people at track and field and want to check it out, you can do so there. If our top 20 didn’t feature your favorite moment, be sure to drop down into the comments section and let us know what we missed.

But for now, enjoy the 20 greatest sports moments from ‘Married… With Children’. Let’s get the greatest moment in television history out of the way first …

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m going to keep watching this until they get out.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Every Face Punch In ‘Road House’ Is Everything You Could Ever Ask For In A Supercut - I prefer that Bloodsport style of 80s-movie punch where you get hit and you turn and throw up blood, but maybe that’s just me. And Chong Li. [UPROXX]

Hanksy Broadens His Pop Culture Horizons With Cosby, Danson, And Gosling-Inspired Works - Somebody needs to add a Cosby sweater to every piece of graffiti ever. I want the HI HOW ARE YOU frog thing in Austin to have a Cosby sweater. [UPROXX]

Lindsay Lohan Will Host Saturday Night Live For Some Reason - She’s gotta promote those washed-out Terry Richardson cigarette ads somehow! [Warming Glow]

Scientists Create Substance That Could Let People Climb Like Spider-Man - My dreams are coming true. What a wonderful world wherein I might one day be able to dispatch a lightning guy by tossing a manhole cover at him! [Gamma Squad]

Oscar Voters Are 94% White, The Rest Are Erik Estrada And Lorenzo Lamas - The good news: now at least Midnight In Paris has a chance of winning stuff. [Film Drunk]

Peter King Says As An Underdog, We Underrate The Underdog Faction - “If your NFL market is experiencing signs of depression, consult your medical professional and have them sign journeyman returner Eddie Abilify.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

B.o.B.: So Good - Only if I get to look at Hayley Williams for every 45 seconds of him rapping. I could really use a wish right now. [Smoking Section]

Cage Potato’s Comprehensive 2012 MMA App Buyer’s Guide - Somebody should make an app about UK women’s mixed martial arts and call it “Angry Birds”. [Cage Potato]

Are ‘Downton Abbey’ Trading Cards Gonna Be the Next Craze? - Only if I have to tap Manor to use them. [The FW]

The 30 Reasons Why We’ll Miss ‘Downton Abbey’- They should let Whitney Cummings remake this show for CBS about a wacky girl trying to make it on her own in the big city and call it ‘Downtown Abby’. [Pajiba]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Have A Happy, Creepy Valentine’s Day! - The back of Greg “The Hammer” Valentine’s card is the best, I just wish the front said I BROKE WAHOO’S LEG, VALENTINE with hearts around it. [SB Nation]

Pierre Abernathy: The Dirty Dirty Sheets Interview - Check out this interview with the funniest pro wrestler you probably haven’t heard of. His moonsault is the stuff of legend. [DirtyDirtySheets]

Ron Swanson Is On IMDB - “Give me all the production credits you have.” [Buzzfeed]

via TexasAnarchy.com

Links

ACW: Beyond Good & Evil 2011 - You really want to see Rachel Summerlyn dressed as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You really do. You also want to see her dressed as Cookie Monster, and both of those things happen here. Austin pro wrestling rules hard. [DirtyDirtySheets]

The Best Wrestling Features/Sites I Don’t Write For - Linking this 80% because of the Chickbusters picture, 15% because Tom Holzerman is a nice guy and 5% because my Raw column is the first one on the list. Cough. [The Wrestling Blog]

The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal For 10/31/11 - Another interpretation of Muppet Raw (in case you didn’t dig all the animated gifs) from a good man who may or may not have something to do with me going to Wrestlemania next year. [John Report]

Oh, So This Is Why Some People Hate Occupy Wall Street - It’s sad that sane, tolerant young people so rarely have a natural, charismatic spokesperson instead of having their opinions communicated by a lady in ironic Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. Oh well, my girlfriend and I have been doing the “like” and “dislike” fingers all day. [Warming Glow]

‘Community’s’ Remedial Chaos Theory Gets A Board Game - I’m glad they finally have an episode better than paintball. Also, disappointed that Tumblr hashtags don’t equate to ratings. [UPROXX]

21 Jump Street Has A Red Band Trailer - I wish they’d do red band-necessary remakes of everything. Like, somebody splice back in controversial cut footage from Josie and the Pussycats and make it the greatest teen-ish sex romp of all time. [Film Drunk]

LOLNFL: Week 8 - Tim Tebow, you’ve got to stop doing that prayer pose, it’s making it too easy for people to blaspheme. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Want A Murder Victim’s Batman Collection? - Sure, why not? Does he have A Death In The Family? [Gamma Squad]

Justin Bieber’s Ghost Writer Is Never Going To Hell - Of COURSE he wrote this. This is the guy who sang a song with the line “I should be chillin’ with my folks, I know” in it because he can’t write his own song about Christmas. He totally wrote this. [Smoking Section]

Jon Jones Agrees That Jon Jones Is The Michael Jordan Of MMA - If this leads to a movie where Jon Jones has to shootfight the Monstars, I’m all for it. That would probably be the best movie ever. [Cage Potato]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Pro-Visions Part 2, Or, What Sport Are You Even Playing? - Worth it for Tom Glavine playing hockey in what I can only assume is Heaven. Also, Tim Salmon, get it? [SB Nation]