If NBA ownership was decreed based on thoroughness of beard, this guy would own the entire league. He’s Him (so let him do it).

And now, a few links about another guy with a beard. Stories unrelated.

Links

’80s Sitcom Predicted Year of Gaddafi’s Death - I’m going to pitch the idea for a Nostradamus sitcom and predict like 100 things in every episode, then enjoy a resurgence in my show’s popularity 20 years later when the sh*t happens to be true. ‘Oh no, Sheldon, George Lucas died! This is the saddest thing to happen in 2028!’ etc. [Warming Glow]

The Guy Who Found Gadhafi Was Wearing A New York Yankees Cap, Has The Dictator’s Famed Golden Gun - And now he can kill your playoff hopes in one shot. [UPROXX]

Best Twitter Reactions To The Death Of Muammar Gaddafi - I hope his name being spelled differently in each of these three links was on purpose. Here’s a fourth: Chudoffy! [Buzzfeed]

Awesome People Hanging Out With Bill Murray - Muammar doesn’t show up on this, although he probably should. Bill Murray rules, and I’d sell my soul for one of those Fantastic Mr. Fox characters. [UPROXX]

Zombie Barbie: Finally A Barbie Doll We Can Support - Our culture needs a new funny occupation, as zombie, ninja and pirate are all extremely played out. Butcher, maybe? Butchers can be funny. [Gamma Squad]

The Curious Case Of Derrick Rose - The NBA Lockout is just like Benjamin Button. Nothing’s happening, but it’s taking forever. [Smoking Section]

Game Over, This is the World’s Greatest Baby Costume - It is pretty great. I think blackface works when you make it a luchador mask. [Film Drunk]

Walt Disney’s Sin City: The Mash-Up You’ve Been Waiting For - Still not as good as Frank Miller’s Sim City, created right around the time I gave up trying to be creative on the Internet. [Gamma Squad]

The Dugout: World Series 2011 Game 1 - Speaking of not being creative, this Dugout needs your traffic and comments. Elvis Andrus! [The Dugout]

Forget Drunkorexia, Olivia Munn Is Into Drunkersize - Maybe she should get into Drunk Acting Classes so I can like her for something besides boobs and freckles. [FARK]

TV-Inspired Halloween Costumes - My TV-inspired Halloween costume this year is better than all of these, pending me being able to pull it off. After the awesome costumes of 2009 and 2010, I’ve got a lot to live up to. [AOL TV]

Five Horror Film Curses You’ll Swear Are Real - You know, I swear these five horror film curses are real. [The Smoking Jacket]

El Perro de la Langosta dice, "Caramba! Ese un hombre con la muneta!"

In news that’s a few weeks old and should have never happened, grown men from across Venezuela gathered in the country’s capital city, Caracas, on December 11 to compete for the title of Miss Barbie Venezuela. Adult males primped and preened the classic Barbie dolls by styling their hair and creating custom dresses, then they gave their dolls extensive backgrounds – careers, educations, philanthropic work, etc. – and shared them with the audience as if they were actually beauty pageant contestants. And can you believe it, not once did they make their Barbie dolls have sex with a Stretch Armstrong.

The winner of this year’s Venezuela title was someone who does not deserve the effort of a Google search, and he can proudly go on to compete at the 2011 Miss Barbie Universe pageant, which will take place in the 7th circle of hell.

Anyway, video of the Miss Barbie Venezuela pageant surfaced over the weekend, and if you think your life sucks, well, don‘t go dropping a toaster in your bubble bath just yet. There she is, Miss Barbie Venezuela, after the jump…

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