The first thing I thought when I saw this was, “Hey, shouldn’t the bride be wearing a white jersey?” And then I thought, “Well, no. She should actually be wearing an entire wedding dress.” But I don’t know if this was just a reception thing or if they went through a whole wedding like this. And what’s up with that Ray Lewis dance? I wonder if he watched somebody stab his wife after the reception and then rode off in the limo by himself. That’s funny unless it’s exactly what happened. –Casey Carter, via Last Angry Fan.
Mike Tirico said that he didn’t like the Thursday Night Football on NFL Network because he didn’t like the matchups. Well now that little bastard can eat crow because tonight’s Monday night matchup could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. I remember earlier in the fall when ESPN was airing high school football from Cincinnati, and it’s hard to see how any such matchup could be worse than the possibly-finally-over-the-hill Baltimore Ravens and the I’ve fallen and I can’t get up Cleveland Browns.
By now, everyone has figured out that Brady Quinn will be starting under center for the Browns. Whatever, dude. The stupid cat-and-mouse games that Eric Mangini plays with his quarterbacks are symbolic of his inept meddling, and the team’s total absence of direction. It’s fun to say that these Browns are a worse team than the ‘99 squad that resurrected the franchise, but it’s also a fact, and at some point they’ll have to blow up what they have and start over again. And that might be the only thing that cleans out all of that staph out there.
Baltimore? They’re old, man. They can still bring it–Cincinnati only beat them by ramming Cedric Benson into the line, and he done broke, yo–but you wonder if they might be in the same spot as Cleveland in terms of what they’re putting out on the field. The difference is that the Ravens have the front office and the younger personnel to weather what might be a 9-7 year. That’s a wild card berth in the NFC; but in the AFC North this year, 9-7 could mean watching the playoffs at home. At least they won’t have to watch this game.
UPDATE: Looks like it was murder-suicide committed by his extramarital girlfriend. Yikes.
Former NFL quarterback Steve McNair was found dead today in downtown Nashville after suffering a fatal gunshot wound to the head. McNair, a former third-overall pick for the Houston Oilers, was the centerpiece of the new Tennessee Titans, leading them to their only Super Bowl appearance and earning three trips to the Pro Bowl and a share of the 2003 NFL MVP. From Nashville’s NewsChannel 5 (via KSK):
A crowd began to gather in the area where Steve McNair’s body was found Saturday afternoon.
“When police officers arrived in response to that call, they found two individuals who had been shot to death inside the residence: one female, one male. We now know that the male deceased is Steve McNair. The female deceased has been tentatively identified. We’re working to confirm that and then notify her next of kin,” said Don Aaron with Metro Police on the situation.
No suspects have been taken into custody as of yet, and we can only hope that the female victim is not his wife, Mechelle. McNair is survived by four sons, including Steve Jr., a highly touted college prospect at wide receiver.
So, uh, happy 4th of July?
KSK’s resident master of Google-Fu Flubby unearthed this video clip of a family where the father is a Ravens fan, the son is an Eagles fan, and Momma the Hut is a Steelers fan. I don’t know if they actually follow these teams, or were simply assigned these franchises based on their relative weight to everyone else in the household, but here it is. It’s a fun little clip, and I was a bit surprised when Christopher Guest wasn’t the name that flashed up during the end credits.
Oh, yeah, I guess they have names, but really, you can probably find all three of these people within ten miles of where you’re sitting right now. Also within ten miles of you: above-average weed and a hand job under ten dollars. You just have to know where to look.
Every time I try to point out to insane sports fans that they’re insane, the snappy comeback is always, “Hurrrrr, fan is short for fanatic,” as if fanaticism isn’t something bad. Yeah, I know where the word “fan” came from, asshole. It’s now a different word from fanatic, and it has a different connotation. You can be a loyal, avid fan without making a light show devoted to your team (video above). And spending hours recreating the paint scheme of your team’s end zone in your back yard (video below) isn’t a a feather in your cap for how devoted you are. It’s more like a propeller on your beanie. You look like a jackass, and everyone hates you.
Maryland governor Martin O’Malley is getting JACKED UP for the Baltimore Ravens’ playoff game against Tennessee on Saturday. So much so that the former Baltimore mayor has “directed that ‘GO RAVENS’ banners be hung on state government buildings,” according to the Carroll County Times. O’Malley issued a similar decree when the Ravens made the playoffs, as reported be Delmarva Media in December:
Gov. Martin O’Malley has ordered the top portion of the William Donald Schaefer Building in Baltimore to be lit purple to honor the NFL team.
O’Malley called coach John Harbaugh on Tuesday to congratulate him on the Ravens’ win.
I’m thinking that being governor of Maryland is a lot like being a blogger, only instead of aimlessly ranting into the vaccuum of the internet, people actually have to listen to the guv. And maybe I’m reading too much into the fact that banners supporting a privately-owned entity are being hung by order of the state. It’s good to know that those tax dollars are being put to good use in this economy–supporting the Purple Camo Militia. Better than posting the Ten Commandments, I guess. Thou shalt not steal? Like that has any place in Baltimore. Or Annapolis. Whatever.
