It’s the best thing to happen to laser shows since the South Park Planetarium did ‘Laser Loggins!’

Baltimore’s Marriott Waterfront in Harbor East has initiated a Ray Lewis Light Show on the side of the building. No, really – a laser show of his pre-game dance. (via Bob’s Blitz)

The dance (which is pretty well done) went up last Friday between 6 and 9, but YouTube locals assume it’ll keep going up, as long as the Baltimore Ravens keep winning. The Ravens/Patriots game doesn’t start until 6:30 PM on Sunday, so if you’re in the area, drive down to the harbor and take a look. And hey, if Laser Lewis isn’t happening, at least you’ll get to hear some local country rock bands and pay $45 for a bucket of wings.

After the jump, I’ve included OUR exclusive video of Ravens fans seeing the light show for the first time.

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"Where's Ben Wallace, String?"

HBO’s ‘The Wire’ is the best TV show ever made. There, I said it.

In 5 seasons over 60 episodes, David Simon’s law and streets epic was literature on television, an experience so dense and rewarding that it somehow managed to simultaneously depict life in Baltimore as realistic and hyper-romanticized. It’s one of those things you’ve either seen and worship, or have resisted all your friends screaming OH MY GOD YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE WIRE NO SERIOUSLY BORROW MY DVDS AND WATCH IT for like ten years.

This week’s Sports On TV column is in reverence to this masterwork of Orioles jokes and cereal references, and my only real disclaimer is that there are tons and tons of spoilers inside, so it’ll work best if you’ve seen the entire run of the show. If you haven’t, you should still click through … out-of-context Wire quotes are like gold, glittery paint on the Internet and should be experienced.

And yes, I took notes on a criminal f**king conspiracy.

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Now you know how Texas feels. (h/t The Daily What)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Walter White’s Heisen-Brrr-g Crunch: Jon Defreest’s Retirement Pop-Cultured Ben & Jerry’s Flavor |UPROXX|

12 Terrible People and Shows That Appear on This Year’s Emmy Ballots |Warming Glow|

Elect Bill Murray To Every Sports Hall Of Fame |With Leather|

10 Other Historical Figures Who Deserve A Movie After Abe Lincoln |Smoking Section|

Batman’s Not Afraid, He’s Angry In New ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Trailer |Gamma Squad|

If You Consume One Amazing ‘Pulp Fiction’ Remix Today, Let It Be This One |UPROXX|

“Cool 2 Be Southern” – Review Of Big K.R.I.T.’s Live From The Underground |Smoking Section|

Steven Seagal denies ever pooping his pants |Film Drunk|

Let’s Watch Mila Kunis Shoot A Basketball On An Infinite Loop |With Leather|

Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week |Gamma Squad|

This LEGO Version of the Meth Lab from ‘Breaking Bad’ is Tremendous |Warming Glow|

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- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

16 Beautiful Photos From The NHL Winter Classic - They should bring the Winter Classic to Texas and play a game on the roof of our Whole Foods Market, or at least be forced to wear sweaters when its still 75 degrees outside in January. [Buzzfeed]

The Cowboys Season Ends In Exquisite Cowboys Fashion - Gonna be watching that Romo gif all day. It’s like something from Baraka. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

5 Reasons We’re Looking Forward To The “Watchmen” Prequels - This is the worst idea since the Tom Hanks remake of Ikiru. The problem with modern comic writers is that they absolutely cannot let anything stay good. [Gamma Squad]

The Highest Grossing Films of 2011 - I’m pretty disappointed in all of us that The Smurfs made 140+ million dollars and further validated their stupid “everything has to be updated to modern times and take place in either New York or Los Angeles” thing. [Film Drunk]

Mase Allegedly Skips Out On $35K Unpaid Jewelry Tab, Gets Sued - Mase … you know ain’t nothing changed but his debilitating limp. [Smoking Section]

Man Named Omar Little Arrested in Baltimore - This is probably the best story of all time, if only for the thought that ‘The Wire’ is real, and happening concurrently to our lives at all times. And if Omar can get arrested, that means Bodie is still around! [Warming Glow]

Child Actors: Then & Now - These lists are always fun and exist for two reasons: 1. To remind us how hot Punky Brewster got, and 2. To remind us how hot Budnick from Salute Your Shorts did not get. [Buzzfeed]

Adult Swim’s Top 600 People - I can’t wait until these lists get comprehensive enough to include me. [Adult Swim]

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Jay-Z - Number 11: he thinks “green berets” is pronounced like it’s spelled. [PopCrush]

Snoop Dogg to appear on The Price is Right, be the guy who always bids $420 - Drew Carey to host The Price is Right, be that guy who stands around with weird hair and laughs in a weird, unlikable way to himself the entire time. [FARK]

Ring in the New Year with 15 of the Most Slamdamntastic Dance Scenes in Cinematic History - That’s it, Pajiba, you’re grounded from creating adjectives for the rest of the year. [Pajiba]

Eight Very Realistic Movies About Parenthood - Or, more specifically, eight very realistic movies about lower upper class white parenting. This is not my childhood experience. Steve Martin never had to parent somebody in section eight housing. [Unreality]

That sounds like I’m trying to be an asshole, right? It sounds like I woke up this morning and read that Mike Flanagan had committed suicide, and I’ve got no tact or personal connection to the man or his family so I came up with something jokey and tasteless for a headline. That’s what we do on the Internet, right? Joke about these things until they don’t matter?

I wish that were the case.

Flanagan’s body was found outside his Baltimore County home yesterday afternoon. He was 59.

Police have not released an official cause of death … But WBAL-TV Sports Director Gerry Sandusky confirmed with sources that Flanagan committed suicide “despondent over what he considered a false perception from a community he loved of his role in the team’s prolonged failure.”

Unbelievable.

Flanagan, in many respects, was as “Baltimore” as the city itself. He lived in Baltimore County. From 1975 until 1992, he played all but four of his 18 seasons in the Major Leagues there. He won a Cy Young for the Orioles in 1979 and a World Series in ’83, and in his post-playing days stuck around in Baltimore as a pitching coach, broadcaster and executive vice president of baseball operations. That would’ve been a general manager in most places. The Baltimore Orioles haven’t had a winning season since 1997, but as weird as it is to hope there was some reasonable explanation for a man taking his own life, you’ve got to hope that there was more to it than that.

The Baltimore Sun has started posting reactions from various Orioles players and executives, including a statement from Peter Angelos and this from Cal Ripken, Jr. I don’t think I can handle a sad Cal Ripken.

“I am so sorry to hear about Mike’s passing. He was a good friend and teammate and our thoughts are with Alex and his family. Mike was an Oriole through and through and he will be sorely missed by family, friends and fans. This is a sad day.”

Even sadder is Jim Palmer, who had to react to the news in the middle of last night’s game.

Rest in peace, Mr. Flanagan, and thank you for trying.

A Baltimore-based order of nuns is cashing in on a pretty sweet present that was willed to them more than 11 years ago. The School Sisters of Notre Dame are auctioning off one of 60 known Honus Wagner baseball cards from the American Tobacco Company series of 1909-1911. The card is in terrible condition but is still likely to earn the nuns about $200,000, which they will split up among their 35 ministries worldwide. Or they can take their chances and trade me the card for what I’m holding up in this box right now. I’ll give you a hint – it’s porn.

The auction of this card has collectors and experts scratching their heads, because until now nobody has known that this specific card existed, since it had been owned by the same guy for more than 60 years. The card has been cut on the borders and has a heavy crease in one corner, and this is the very same language that caused me to not touch my first female boob until I was 17. Male boobs, however…

Where in the heavens did this card come from, NBC Sports?

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