Jake Hogue is a place kicker for the Ball State Cardinals, and he seems to have done well for himself.  According to a tipster, the “awful backup kicker” is dating “Abercrombie model Sarah Bakian,” but I find that hard to believe.  Not that he’s dating her, but that she’s an Abercrombie model.  The girls who model for Abercrombie all look like underdeveloped 14-year-olds hanging out with homoerotic beefcake.  Like, this chick is all lonely while these guys get naked together, and this guy sticks a trumpet in his ass while the girl looks away.  Man, you gotta hand it to Abercrombie & Fitch.  They sure know how to sell overpriced distressed cargo shorts.

The Ball State wrapped up their regular season with a win against Western Michigan last night, pushing their record to 12-0 on the year. The Cardinals were paced by 5-foot-6-inch MiQuale Lewis, who ran for 120 yards and three TDs on 30 carries. Ball State’s season was dually notable for the program’s willingness to move their games around for television, having played games on Thursday, Friday, two Wednesdays and two Tuesdays, and I think I read somewhere that they also traveled back in time to play a game in 1956.

Ball State will play in the MAC Championship on Friday, December 3rd 5TH, after which their program will become college football’s latest Hey, What About Us team when the big bowls ignore them. But consider this: with wins against Navy (7-4), Central Michigan (8-3), Western Michigan (9-3), and having only one game where they scored fewer than 31 points (and, you know, being undefeated and all), Ball State is only ranked 15th in both polls. That means that even with you-know-who’s proposed top-eight playoff system, Ball State would still be denied a chance to play for the national title. How does your so-called system of fairness sound now?

[That One Sports Monolith]