Yep, this is a badminton match into which someone CG’d a quartet of lightsabers. I wish someone would time this with the “Duel Of The Fates” score from Star Wars Episode I. OH WAIT I TOTALLY JUST DID.

The mashup is here, but the original video is below.

When the parks division of San Francisco instituted a fee for reserving badminton courts, but not for any of its other facilities, 86-year-old Ed Leong caused a racket. Leong filed a petition with the mayor and led a barrage of emails, phone calls and rallies aimed at the city’s parks office, citing that the new fee–$4 for every 45 minutes of court time–unfairly singled out Asian-Americans. THEY NO LOVE YOU LEONG TIME!

Unhappy that only badminton players were being targeted by the San Francisco fees, Mr. Leong and several other players quickly circulated their petition. In mid-January, he and a dozen other badminton enthusiasts camped outside City Hall for several hours to chant their objections to the fee before presenting the petition to the mayor’s office. “I understand the city is short of funds, but just to have the badminton group foot the bill is unfair,” says Mr. Leong.

The city later reduced the fee to $1 and imposed it for use of all facilities. And yet the gays pay nothing. I believe that Harvey Milk would have demanded everyone pay an equal fee. And then he probably would waddle into his office and get his ass pounded raw. Now, I’m no student of history, but that sounds like progress to me.

[WSJ]

That headline's not quite accurate: this video's two years old, so I'm not really "introducing" it so much as "posting it after seeing it for the first time."  Also, these guys aren't really pimps — just kids who play badminton.  So really, a better headline would have been HERE ARE SOME GAY KIDS, but that seemed a little too mean, because people get sensitive about the word "gay."  Listen, I don't mean gay like "homosexual," I mean gay like "it sucks huge cock."

[Hugging Harold Reynolds] 

The Chief appears to have taken a personal day, to which he is certainly entitled. He fought for his country while the rest of us (i.e. me) were back in the States drinking large amounts of Jameson. I'm sure he's fine, and I'm also sure his version of this story from the Subcontinent would be much funnier:

India have scrapped a training camp for this month's Thomas and Uber Cup qualifiers because of a lack of shuttlecocks, badminton officials said on Thursday. The federation sent home over 30 players due to start training on Thursday, blaming the state-run Sports Authority of India (SAI) for not supplying the stock or allowing them to import . . . "It is a very lackadaisical attitude," Badminton Association of India (BAI) president V.K.Verma told Reuters on Thursday. "They're supposed to provide shuttles, but are doing the game a great disfavor. "We can't have our 30 best shuttlers, juniors and seniors, twiddling their thumbs with only five tournaments left to qualify for the Olympics." 

Perhaps if they referred to them as 'cocks' instead of 'shuttles', they wouldn't be in this predicament. But I wouldn't help them and travel to India no matter what kind of cock shortage they're having there. You know it's the only country that still has the Plague. I mean the Plague, please! -KD