I love living in the future.

The forward-thinkers at ASB have created GlassFloor, a multi-purpose sports court that can change its lines and adapt with the push of a button. Want to play handball? Boom. Volleyball? Basketball? Additional boom. Want to play half basketball, half badminton? I don’t know why you’d want to do that, but it can do that.

The properties of glass allow for more than just an optimized floor surface. LED marking lines can be switched on/off or changed on demand. Originally designed for the sport of squash where portable All-Glass-Courts are erected in all types of locations, like city centres, in front of the pyramids or in shopping centres. The floor is suitable for indoor and outdoor use.

The one way translucence of the floor allows a whole new range of possibilities. LED lines or screens can be seen through the floor but when but when not illuminated, they are invisible. The floor is very long lasting and sustainable.

The Internet, as you may have guessed, has a problem with this. It has ALL THE PROBLEMS with this. Presented below are just a selection of the gripes YouTubers have found with ASB GlassFloor, and sadly none of them are “we’re gonna come down from a dunk and break the glass floor and fall into oblivion.”

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"Siri, remind me to watch the MAHGFAQQINN LYMPICS."

One of the strangest and most precious gems from this weekend was discovering that Pulp Fiction slash The Avengers slash Star Wars slash everything else star Samuel L. Jackson loves the 2012 Summer Olympics and can’t stop tweeting about them.

It’s important to stress that this is not a parody, and that these are real tweets from @SamuelLJackson. They cover everything from handball to sync diving to Malaysian badminton, all with Jackson’s contractually obligated tendency to shoehorn curse words into anything he’s saying. The guy works in “f**k” like Jackson Pollock worked in drip. He spells it however he wants, puts it wherever he wants whether it makes sense or not and sometimes ends up with a mangle of consonants because he’s SAMUEL L. MARGHFAGGUIN JACKSON.

Normally I’d want to provide some kind of commentary or context for these, but that’d be like touching a baby bird. Two major warnings before you proceed:

1. These tweets may contain harsh language, and reader discretion is advised.

2. These tweets may contain language you did not know existed.

Please enjoy 20 of the best Sam Jackson tweets from this weekend, and join us every day between now and the end of the Olympics for 20 more.

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Funny Or Die has done a lot of things to warm my heart — pissing off Tom Brady, making Kris Humphries call himself a douchebag and threatening to kill Blake Griffin with a miniature puppet version of himself — but none have made me quite as happy as watching 1996 Olympic gold medalist and pro wrestler Kurt Angle trying to get back into the 2012 games.

The best part is that it’s based on real events … the 43-year old Angle tried his best to make the 2012 team, but came up short due to hamstring and knee injuries. Actually, I take that back. The BEST part is watching him Angle Slam a badminton player through a totally unexplained freestanding table and/or bashing a fencer in the face with a steel chair. God knows I would’ve been one of those random wrestling fans who showed up with signs to watch Kurt Angle play table tennis if I could’ve been.

Video is below. It’s more Funny than Die, but there’s a lot of dying going on anyway.

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Yep, this is a badminton match into which someone CG’d a quartet of lightsabers. I wish someone would time this with the “Duel Of The Fates” score from Star Wars Episode I. OH WAIT I TOTALLY JUST DID.
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When the parks division of San Francisco instituted a fee for reserving badminton courts, but not for any of its other facilities, 86-year-old Ed Leong caused a racket. Leong filed a petition with the mayor and led a barrage of emails, phone calls and rallies aimed at the city’s parks office, citing that the new fee–$4 for every 45 minutes of court time–unfairly singled out Asian-Americans. THEY NO LOVE YOU LEONG TIME!

Unhappy that only badminton players were being targeted by the San Francisco fees, Mr. Leong and several other players quickly circulated their petition. In mid-January, he and a dozen other badminton enthusiasts camped outside City Hall for several hours to chant their objections to the fee before presenting the petition to the mayor’s office. “I understand the city is short of funds, but just to have the badminton group foot the bill is unfair,” says Mr. Leong.

The city later reduced the fee to $1 and imposed it for use of all facilities. And yet the gays pay nothing. I believe that Harvey Milk would have demanded everyone pay an equal fee. And then he probably would waddle into his office and get his ass pounded raw. Now, I’m no student of history, but that sounds like progress to me.

[WSJ]

That headline's not quite accurate: this video's two years old, so I'm not really "introducing" it so much as "posting it after seeing it for the first time."  Also, these guys aren't really pimps — just kids who play badminton.  So really, a better headline would have been HERE ARE SOME GAY KIDS, but that seemed a little too mean, because people get sensitive about the word "gay."  Listen, I don't mean gay like "homosexual," I mean gay like "it sucks huge cock."

[Hugging Harold Reynolds]