Ames, Iowa parents are beating each other bloody over how often their 12-year old stands in at second shortstop. Who ya got?

Ames police arrested three people at North River Valley Park Sunday night following the championship softball game for 12-year-old girls competing in the Iowa Games.

The Centerville Hot Shots had just beat the Nevada Cubs when according to police a Centerville parent got in an argument with the team’s coach over playing time.

Officers said 32-year-old Angela Sales, of Centerville, punched coach Todd Sebolt. The coach is also accused of punching Sales. Sales sister, 19-year-old Stephany Summers, was also arrested for punching Sebolt’s wife.

I picked the one in the middle (“Sebolt”), but I honestly thought he was a lesbian. Now I feel bad for everyone at the game, because the guy who coaches a team of 12-year old girls is okay punching a woman. I wish the paragraph about who had punched who had kept going. Sales punched the coach. The coach is accused of punching Sales. Sales sister, Stephanie But Spelled Stupid, was arrested for punching the coach’s wife. The coach’s wife was arrested for punching Sales’ dog. The dog was arrested for urinating in public. Several pre-teen girls were arrested for punching a fire hydrant, and so on.

Video of the incident is below, but be warned, it is extremely graphic.

[h/t Off the Bench and my lifelong crush on Thora Birch]

One Cleveland news outlet is reporting that Browns coach Eric Mangini will be fired at the end of the regular season, which would make him the fourth NFL head coach of the year to lose his job while everyone wondered how he got one in the first place.

Sabrina Parr from WKNR is reporting today that regardless of what Mangini does in his last three games, he is out as head coach. Chris Fedor then added that the Browns are having difficulty finding a new offensive coordinator because there is a lack of willingness in candidates to work with Mangini.

–Waiting For Next Year.

Really? Who wouldn’t like to work with suck? Between this guy, Wade Phillips and Brad Childress, it’s a wonder that unemployment is so high and yet these dudes–who any average fan could have told you was a bad hire–are still holding down jobs. I’ll add Chan Gailey and Jack Del Rio to the list as well. If either of those guys have any sense, they’ve already cleaned out their offices and put a moratorium on buying green bananas. They’re an investment, see.

Former Gonzaga standout Raenna Jewell was busted for inappropriate relations with a minor. Not like a miner in a mine, or a mimer with a mime. They’re just called mimes. Anyway, Jewell was the Apache Junction High School freshman girls basketball and softball coach, and the article doesn’t say whether the 16-year-old in question was swinging the lumber or taking it to the hole. Break it down for us, Badjocks:

According to reports, Jewell, 25, was first arrested on suspicion of sexual conduct with a minor back on March 29, three days after cops received a report from the victim’s mother about some “suspicious text messages” being exchanged between her daughter and Jewell. Uh, oh.

Text messaging is going to take down an entire country one day, I can feel it. Can you imagine if Nixon had a cell phone? Actually, that’s a bit different, since the only person he tried to screw was, well, everyone.

|orig. seen in the East Valley Trib|

Central Michigan University has agreed to a payout of $450,200 after its former women’s soccer coach was accused of getting stinky on his hangdown with two of his players, according to ESPN.

The [players], a senior and a freshman, each had a sexual relationship with Tony DiTucci because of his “skilled manipulation and seduction,” lawyer Jennifer Salvatore said.

“They were young individuals who held the coach in high esteem,” she said in an interview. “He made them believe they were special and he was in love with them. Looking back on it, they wish they had handled it differently.” [...]

DeTucci was replaced in midseason by Tom Anagost, whose interim tag was removed after his team finished second in the MAC. As for the Mack Daddy, he said that players totally came onto him first. Banging your coach is great until you realize that you’re sharing a bunk with one of your teammates. Hey, coaches these days don’t have time for rebuilding seasons. You gotta win now. Read the rest of this entry »

Once again, there was no shortage of heartbreak, disappointment, and abject failure in the NFL, and as usual there’s no better place to celebrate all that than in the Monday Morning Suck-Off.  The best of yesterday’s worst all took a careful look at their playoff chances or positioning and said, “You know what? Screw it.”

This is true of the Redskins, who erased the remnants of their playoff hopes with a 20-13 stinkbomb against the putrid Bengals, while the Giants failed to imrpove their dominant playoff position with a no-show against the quarrelsome Cowboys, New York’s second consecutive loss.  The Titans had an opportunity to clinch home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, but instead got shut out of the end zone in their 13-12 defeat at the hands of the Texans.  Baltimore, playing at home for the chance to steal the AFC North crown, also failed to score a touchdown in a 13-9 loss to the Steelers in which the referees mercifully gave Pittsburgh a last-minute touchdown to prevent a dreary game from going into overtime at 9-9. Read the rest of this entry »

Virginia football coach Al Groh, fighting for his job after two 5-7 seasons in three years, fired his offensive coordinator/son Mike Groh and two other assistants this weekend.  The younger Groh will presumably keep the latter title, unless he doesn’t RAKE THE GODDAM YARD LIKE HIS MOTHER ASKED.

Loved by most players and an easy target for the fan base, Mike Groh’s departure ends a three-year run that provided limited success. Over the past three seasons, the Cavaliers’ offense failed to crack the top 100 in total offense.

Oh, that’s not so bad.  Just the bottom sixth of all D-1 football for three straight years.  They were probably just having some GROH-ing pains.  Huh?  Huh?  Anyone?  Is this thing on?

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