A bad rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner is Hell on Earth. I’ve sat through everything from cracked pre-teen Christina Aguilera types to those quartets of old people singing opera (this is easily the worst), so I empathize with Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter when the camera caught him mouthing “what the frank” (I think that’s what he was mouthing) during a particularly weird version of our National Anthem.

To his credit, when you manage the Orioles you’re mouthing that and shaking your head about 70% of the time. I think we need to take a more proactive approach to unusual covers of the Banner, air our what the fudges, and start garroting these people. You’re a good man, Buck, and I’m sorry you had to live through this.

[via @bubbaprog]

Christina Aguilera has been through a lot lately, what with her highly publicized divorce from Jordan Bratman. But God bless her, she still got it together and showed up to Super Bowl XLV to perform the National Anthem for the millions of people watching worldwide. And boy, did she nail it out of the park or what? She was all like…

“Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
What so proudly we watched, at the twilight’s last gleam…”

Wait, that’s not right. Isn’t there something about ramparts in there? I’m pretty sure they were gallantly streaming or something. Either way, great for Christina, showing up and staying strong. Ain’t nobody gonna break-a-her-pride, ain’t nobody gonna tell her that she needs some sleep. Seriously.

Video after the jump…

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It’s been a rough week for America, what with that stuff that we won’t talk about right now (Duke losing, of course) and it always helps to have something inspirational fall into our laps. And while my greatest inspiration, Rachel Bilson, has yet to fall into my lap, we were lucky enough to stumble across this video of 8-year old Elizabeth Hughes performing the National Anthem at a Norfolk Admirals hockey game on January 7.

As Elizabeth was nailing it – just crushing that Star Spangled Banner – her mic cut out, leaving her tiny-yet-powerful voice without the benefit of amplification. That’s when the crowd collectively shouted, “To heck with your faulty sound system! To heck, we say!” and they lifted Elizabeth up with their voices and gave a giant middle finger to this country’s enemies.

Strap a cassette player to your leg and fly a jet into your heart, video after the jump…

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