Arsenal Wishes You A Forced, Awkward Holiday Season

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.21.11

What you need to know:

season’s greetings from the Gunners : Wojciech Szczesny, Theo Walcott, Bacary Sagna, Per Mertesacker, Abou Diaby, Emmanuel Frimpong, Sebastien Squillaci, Vito Mannone, Lukasz Fabianski, Ryo Miyaichi and Andre Santos

What I don’t really know a lot about:

soccer

… so I can’t nitpick the Arsenal Christmas video too much, but I barely believe anything they’re saying. Watching a stone faced guy say “merry christmas” before removing a Santa hat that says “Merry Christmas” across the front is all well and good, as is making grown men who don’t speak a hell of a lot of English wear Rudolph noses and antlers and speak English, but I can’t shake the feeling that as soon as the cameras stopped rolling they tossed off their Christmas sweaters and started plotting its downfall. Maybe movies have taught me to be too judgmental of athletic Europeans.

Writing your own Arsenal Christmas wishes is pretty fun, though, you have to take a really simple sentences or phrases like “Merry Christmas” and say them in the most roundabout way possible. “I believe, that if possible, I will have, a merry Christmas.”

Also, pretty sure Abou Diaby is where Garfield keeps trying to ship Nermal.

[via Outside The Boxscore]

3 Comments TAGS: , , , ,

Sports-Related? No. Do I Care? Nope.

Written by JOSH Z / 01.26.11

I’ll abandon the pretense here; this is the greatest motion picture that I’ve ever seen. Period. I DEFY you to find a better video than this. This embodies everything that makes America so great, and any words other than that would surely fail to convey the wonder that I feel by watching this for the 5,000th time.

Enjoy. Read the rest of this entry »

19 Comments TAGS: ,

Sports! Great Falls And Fuggups From November

Written by JOSH Z / 12.02.10

So I saw this video of sports-related and not-so-sports-related mishaps and I thought, “Yeah, that’s pretty sweet, but some of these are kinda stupid. I bet if someone cut this down to two minutes, it would be really sweet.” And then I went and ate a sandwich and said, “If someone cut that video down to two minutes and then dubbed ‘Sports’ from ‘Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show Great Job!’ over it, it might be the greatest thing ever.” Well lo and behold, some enterprising fellow has done that. God bless him. Or her. You know, since I obviously have no idea who it was…

3 Comments TAGS: ,

Partnered With

Sign Up

Follow Us